Just a bit of fun. YAOI! (I'm getting better at remembering my yaoi warnings now, because I've traumatized three people… I'm so sorry)

Revenge of the Uke
Genma slid languidly into the shabby booth across from a certain pale skinned and gravity-defying-haired Shinobi. After sizing his long time partner in crime up with a talented eye, he pursed his lips. "I'm going to put this as eloquently as I possibly can." He promised, reaching out and pushing a second drink to Kakashi. "You look like a bird crapped on your parade. A really big bird."

Kakashi raised a weary eye, focusing blankly on the senbon waving from Genma's teeth. "Just a bit distraught." The downcast eyes focused on the offered amber liquid were filled with previous thoughts and misguided questions.

Genma, the friendly soul that he was, grinned ruthlessly. "You were denied sex from Iruka, weren't you?"

Kakashi almost immediately shook his head, though it lacked fervor. "No." he finished slowly, to reiterate to Genma the same answer the head motion he had performed.

A long silence, but the pallid jounin didn't offer a continuing explanation. As much, should have been assumed, so Genma regrouped and took a different approach. "How is Iruka? He looked a little flustered this morning when I ran into him at the Academy."

At this, Kakashi's loan eye raised in interest. "Hm." The sound of a considering theory being developed egged Genma's next question.

"Did you two fight?"

He was rewarded with the same head shake, and placid, "No."

"Kakashi. I really hate pictionary. Can't you just tell me what's wrong?"

A thoughtful eye roved back to the senbon ticking between curled lips. "Isn't pictionary where you draw pictures? The miming game is called something else…"

"Kami-sama. I don't care what it's called. You're freakin' me out, Kakashi. Tell me what's wrong and maybe I can fix it for you." He sipped from his own adult beverage, cornering Kakashi with a insubstantial glare of persuasion.

"Hn. I kinda like the guessing game."

"Well I kinda like having you buy my drinks if you're going to hold me here the whole day. You know, I'm only doing this because I need you to help me get my hands on-"

"Last night I was uke."

"-a pair of Tsunadeeee's…..what?" his jaw slacked and his spine tingled. "Say again?"

Kakashi leaned forward, chin resting on his fist as he found a serious interest in the picture on the wall. Now that he really noticed it, the picture was relatively nice; the view from atop the Hokage's-

"You're kidding."

"Hn. I pissed him off by tying his arm to the bed post. Somehow he got the upper hand and… well… It was a new experience." He strained to have an optimistic tone about his 'new experience' but it was vein in the end.

Genma could only gape. "You – wow – I mean, you're usually – wow. Iruka-sensei? He screwed your brains out?" the amusement was beginning to develop once initial shock had subsided.

"Hn. I wouldn't say that… but… well… yeah. He did. I instigated the outburst, though… pushed him too hard. After he turned on me, I knew I'd gone too far and let him do it. I didn't dislike it and all but… I don't know how I feel about it." He explained, as if it had just dawned on him. "I'm at a complete loss. You know, I wonder if we put them through that much pain all the time? I haven't moved from this bench in three hours because moving hurts. Does Raidoh ever complain?"

There was an awkward pause as Genma looked around to any possible blackmailers in hearing range. "Should we really be talking about this in public?"

"Well I'm not getting up." He scoffed at the idea. "I look like a fool trying to walk normally. – But seriously. I've been thinking about this for a long time. How much pain do you think they're in once we're done with them? I mean, it hurts. Even after the first time pain… We should really be more considerate in the mornings and stuff. After last night, bringing breakfast to him in bed doesn't even compare. I thought I was being super loving, but it was more of a half-assed apology for ramming-"

"Kakashi-sensei! Aren't you supposed to be teaching your leeches?" Raidoh grinned roughly, sliding into the booth beside Genma and reaching to his lover's glass. "I don't mind if I do."

Even with the lack of offering, Genma pushed the cup over willingly, even hurriedly. Raidoh's detection skills were equivalent to the normal special jounin-level, but he did not need them to sense the swift change in customary personality. He stared into the cup, then back to Genma. "What'd you do to it?"

"What do you mean?"

"You handed it over too fast. - Did you do something to it?" he accused the lazy eyed Shinobi across from him.

"Tried to drink it while he wasn't looking, but he hasn't turned away yet." Kakashi smiled genially, the happy inverted U making Raidoh feel better. He took a slug of the drink and passed it back to a semi-anxious Genma. Of course, the only tell tale sign that he was even anxious of anything, was the twitching senbon, tracing a certain pattern into the air.

"What're you two up to? Cheating on me and Iruka?" he grinned slapping Genma beneath the table.

This tainted Genma's lips into an evil smile. "Of course! But Kakashi's uke."

Raidoh, oblivious to the previous conversation laughed heartily, nudging his senbon sucking companion, "Naw, I think Kakashi is more the type to cram your-"

"Nu-uh." Genma giggled giddily, suddenly finding Kakashi's bewildering situation amusing.

Said jounin glowered, discretely stomping petit toes through the heavy Shinobi boots.

"Ye-aaaoow! I mean, you could never get to semes together anyway, they'd battle too much." He tried to tug his foot from beneath the strong smashing heel, but couldn't budge the relaxed appearing shinobi's boot.

"Hn." Raidoh looked between the two, then leaned back casually, casting his gaze sideways to look around the bar and restaurant. "Well, in any case, I passed your team on the bridge and wondered where you'd gone off too." He shot a suspicious glance at Kakashi, "You're not hiding from them, are you?"

"Why would I hide from them?"

He shrugged, "Dunno. Why aren't you with them, then?" he took a second sip of Genma's drink.

Kakashi shrugged nonchalantly. "Eh," He reached into his vest pocket, setting a few bills on the table for the waitress to notice, then his cup on the bills for a new drink. "I didn't feel like dealing with them today. They can usually think up their own training methods anyway."

Raidoh suddenly grinned recklessly and leaned forward, cupping a hand around his mouth to aim his words only to the two in the booth. "Are you sure it's not because Iruka slammed you to the bed last night? First time is always the worst."

A distinct color rose in the wan face until the area just above his mask burned. There was nothing he could do but shift uncomfortably under the amused gazes of his once considered friends, now etched into the TORMENT book as numbers two and three, right after Gai-sensei. "Hn."

Raidoh rested his chin on his knuckles. "Hurts like hell now, doesn't it?"


He was pleased with that answer and leaned back, stretching his arms high above his head. "And you semes always thought you were the tough guys. In reality, it's all us. – By the way, Iruka sent me to ask you how you were doing, and if you would like to go to the bathhouse after he gets off work. He couldn't find you at lunch and spent his entire break searching. I said I'd track you down for him." He explained, slapping his hands down with a clap on the wooden table, pushing himself from the seat. "Well. I've finished my assigned mission for the day. I've got all kinds of errands to run. I'll see you 'round Kakashi-san. And remember, lube is your friend! - See you at home, Gen-san." He gave a two fingered wave, sauntering away with a bit more bounce in his step than necessary.

"Well. That was exhilarating."

"Shut up, Genma."


Kakashi landed softly in the window sill once the last child had exited the room. Iruka's sharp eyes quickly focused on the intruder, then lit up with delight. "Kakashi! Raidoh made it to you?" he asked warmly, pushing his way between desks to the man, still crouched and unmoving.

"Mm-hm. He found me in the bar." He explained casually, tilting his back and nudging a kiss up into Iruka's parted lips, his mask slipping between them to forgo any tongue dueling.

"Are you… are you feeling alright?" the hesitance and compassion in Iruka-sensei's voice made Kakashi feel pathetic.

"Yeah. Sore. But that's expected." He gingerly stepped into the classroom and closed the window behind him.

Iruka chuckled. "The sore walk. I know how you feel." He smiled brightly and took Kakashi's hand. "Bathhouse?"

The ex-ANBU nodded like a four-year old being offered a chocolate chip cookie.

He glanced at the door just as it swung open though, a small child with orb-like green eyes dashed in and to a small desk in the classroom, "IRUKA-SENSEEEEIII!"

"It's on my desk." Iruka pointed to the pack.

"THANK YOU!" He was gone in less than ten seconds. The teacher chuckled and turned back to Kakashi, but he was gone. "Ka-kakashi?" he looked around perplexed, then out the window where the white haired Shinobi was deftly trying to persuade Iruka to follow him with fervent hand motions. He chuckled and grabbed his coat, slipping out the window to follow.


"So," Iruka settled into the water, eyes closing and head tilting back. "What vital lesson did you learn from this experience?" he traced designs in the water with his finger tips.

Kakashi's nose wrinkle beneath the white cloth mask as he shifted. "Don't piss off Iruka-sensei when he's had a bad day?"

"Very good. More accurately, don't tie Iruka-sensei to anything unless he concedes." He cracked an eyelid to view the jounin.

"I can remember that. But you liked it last time."

Iruka only chuckled at this, sliding deeper into the water.

After a few relaxing moments, Iruka opened both eyes to look at the awkwardly slouched man, his hair hanging forward, damp with the humidity. He slipped along the rim of the bath and over to his lover, hesitating the forward approach, then slowly climbing into the older man's lap.

Kakashi raised his head and looked to Iruka through both mismatched and smiling eyes. "I love you, Iruka-sensei. I learn knew things every day when I'm with you."

Iruka blushed and looked down at the bite marks on the back of Kakashi's neck. "Well, I think that's the last lesson you'll get for a while. I've decided being the teacher in bed is no fun."

A smooth eyebrow rose elegantly. "Oh? This was only a one time thing, then?" he nuzzled Iruka's cheek playfully.

Iruka clenched his jaw. "What's that supposed to mean? You're not getting anything like that ever again."

"I rejoice in that, Iruka-sensei."

Ramdom, random, sporadic thought induced fic brought to you by Aia.