Ok I've been having a very emo week I guess. Every teen has one right? And since I'm 13, I'll have way more of these weeks to go. So I'm just saying my troubles had mostly had to do with this god damn computer I'm typing on. So...yea. And wanted to write this, cuz I saw a walmart thing like this, but some of them I got the idea's from that. But the rest is mine. Like maybe 68 of them are mine...no 70...Watever. Hope you like!
WHAT TO DO IN THE FIRE PALACE TO GET BANISHED, ATTACKED, OR INTERROGATED VIOLENTLY
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and say it's a delivery for Ozai.
2. Honk the emergency honker for 'the rebels are attacking' at 4 am and wait till everyone is up and say you thought it was a sungi horn.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to Zula's bedroom, and if anyone asks, just say Zula is PMSing and you don't want to get on her bad side.
4. Walk up to a solider and tell him in an official tone, "Code 3" in Princess Zula's room.
5. Go up to Ozai, asking for a special 'alone' meeting at 10 pm to discuss a very important 'thing'. Bring 1 condom, 2 whips (if he's feisty), wear a short (short) mini skirt, and of course lingerie underneath.
6. Mop a hallway (make sure it's very wet) and wait till someone comes by. Don't forget to take pictures!
7. Leave a beautiful written poem and a red rose saying 'your secret admirer' at Zula's bedroom door. Also, at the very bottom say, 'P.S Oh what a riddle for you, I go by ZuZu, a nickname you gave to me. Can you guess who I am?'
8. Hump one of the pillars in the Palace. Make sure people are there. Watching.
9. Look right at one of the guards guarding the Palace in the eye and pick your nose. Don't forget to wipe it on him!
10. When you have to sing the national fire nation song for a game to start (you know how we have to sing the national anthem for when something starts, pretend it's the same in the Avatar world), sing it beautifully but in the middle, begin rapping about Zula and her love for 2 men. Zhao and Zuko. She'll then know about the secret admirer thing you set on her though…Ah well!
11. Dart around the palace suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the Throne room in front of all of the members, practice your "Madonna look" using different melons.
13. Hide in Ozai's clothing rack and when he browses through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement is being said by the Fire Lord (everything is quiet), assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
15. Go into Zula's room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very (very) loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
16. Use a permanent marker, and write on the hallway where Zula's bedroom is in, 'Zuko and Zula forever!'
17. When Ozai is sleeping take head phones to put on him, and play the 'I'm a Barbie Girl' song while he sleeps. The fun begins in the morning.
18. Go up to the royal family picture and take it. And instead put a picture of yourself with your melons.
19. Go and lock yourself in the dungeons, and if people ask why your sent, say you had a little too much fun in Ozai's room.
I wish you good luck after you try all these…(ahem)…things… to get banished and be attacked and stuff. Oh and if you didn't read the top and went straight to the questions, let me inform you, you will have a sever punishment.
Just to let you know! And no, you can't sew me for any of these punishments you encountered.
And please don't send Ozai here, or I will whip your ass and his, because I'm the writer.
Have a good day and please review if you'd like.
I'll be updating my other stories soon, I have to write all of the 2nd chapters of my stories all over again, cuz my computer is just fucked up and deleted my documents. XD