Summary :- What happens when the Darren Shan Saga crew discover the beauty of instant messaging ? Plenty of humour, crap and chaos inside .

Chapter 1

( Late one night in the chat room … )

VampirePrince : Cool ! I did not know that chatting can be so much fun !

Frankenstein : The point is to talk, Darren not coo …over about how cool it is.

VampirePrince : Um…Harkat ? Why do you pause on the screen ?

Frankenstein : Because I need to breathe - Hey, I can talk without pausing for breath ! This is cool ! ( jumps up and down happily )

VampirePrince : ( snort ) Yeah, look who's talking now …

Blondbrain : Larten is throwing a fit, he's been looking all over for you.

VampirePrince : Kurda, is that you ?

Blondbrain : WE ARE NOT SUPPOSE TO USE OUR REAL NAMES ! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA THAT WE COULD BE CARTED OFF TO THE HALL DEATH FOR THIS ! ( fuming so hard that smoke can be seen issuing out of Seba Nile quarters )

Frankenstein : Kurda, you're not in Seba's room, are you ? Because if you must know, he got this man-eating tarantula last week .

VampirePrince : Kurda, are you ok ?

( Suddenly, a girlish scream could be heard echoing throughout the mountain )

OneEyeHero : Darren, Larten asked me to tell you that Paris told Mika that Arrow told Arra that told Seba that told Vanez- that's me, that Cyrus told Perliat that Harkat –

Frankenstein : I didn't say anything !

OneEyeHero : - that told Larten he was looking for you.

VampirePrince : Oh.

CreepyCrepsley : DARREN SHAN !

VampirePrince : Mr. Crepsley, I thought you were illiterate !

OneEyeHero : He is. I can see him bullying Cyrus to help him convey his dissatisfaction as an uneducated citizen of the clan.

CreepyCrepsley : WHY YOU INSOLENT LITTLE –

( Larten chases Vanez right pass Darren and Harkat, armed with a broom. At the same time, Kurda runs in the opposite direction whilst being pursued by Seba's pet tarantula - which is only 5 inches long. )

Frankenstein : Whoa, did you see that ?

VampirePrince : Yeah, Kurda can really run. I had no idea he could sprint.

MadamOcta : Feed me.

Frankenstein : Now this is creepy…Madam Octa actually surfs the net !

MadamOcta : FEED ME OR I'LL GOBBLE YOU UP !

VampirePrince : ( shifty eyes ) You know, maybe I should go and check on how Vanez is faring against Creeply – I mean Crepsley. ( gulps ) Bye !

Frankenstein : Darren ! You're not running away from a spider, are you ? Darren –

VampirePrince has signed off .

Frankenstein : Bummer…

Sorry if it's not funny enough, I was bored so I just decided to cook a story of my own up. I promise the next chapter won't be dull. Anyway, I'm looking forward to any comments.

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My many thanks goes to Alana for reviewing . I really appreciated your comment .

Chapter 2 .

VampirePrince : Is Mr. Crepsley still chasing Vanez with that broom?

Frankenstein : Yup.

( As if just to prove a point, Larten can be seen running in the background with Vanez screaming for his life. Suddenly, Kurda grabs the broom from Larten and smacks the spider with joyous gusto. )

VampirePrince : Oh boy, Seba is going to pull his hair out once he finds out his pet is bug juice.

Frankenstein : You don't say…

( A yell of triumph can be heard in the background followed by a smack and a thud as Mr. Crepsley sings out, " That is what you get for stealing my broomstick !" )

VampirePrince : Typical day in HQ, huh ?

( After 5 minutes …)

VampirePrince : Harkat, are you there ? HARKAT !

( Suddenly a bright flash of light permeates the cave )

Frankenstein : ( snickers ) Sorry I wasn't available…

VampirePrince : What are you up to ?

Frankenstein : You'll see …( grins evilly )

( Screams and shouts could be heard throughout the cave again. )

VampirePrince : WHAT IN THE NAME OF-

( Gavner and Mika run into the room, covered in soft white feathers. Clearly they resemble a bunch of half-plucked turkeys. )

RavenHead : HARKAT MULDS ! IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY AND SACRED TO THE VAMPIRES, YOU ARE NO LONGER WELCOME –

RavenHead has signed off .

( A loud bang echoes through the room to announce the presence of DICK CHENEY ! )

IShotMyFriend : Whoa Harkat …You got two fine turkeys here ! Now the First Lady won't complain that we have nothing left to give the president's dog during Thanksgiving !

Frankenstein : Sure thing, Dick. One of your turkeys are running…( winks at Gavner who was trying to slip away unnoticed. )

IShotMyFriend : Wish I brought my glasses…( accidently shoots Kurda by mistake. )

( Mika can be seen screaming and running towards a bewildered Arrow for cover. )

VampirePrince : How did- ? What in Osca Velm- ?

Frankenstein : ( Tosses a red can towards Darren )

VampirePrince : ( eyes widening ) Acne Instant Feathers !

Frankenstein : Yup …I was actually planning on getting Gavner "feathered" but the can had a 5 meter effect radius so Mika got some of it as well.

VampirePrince : Whoa….remind me to never get on your bad side in the future…

( Another bang could be heard followed by screams - from Mika and Gavner no doubt, and a gleeful shout from Dick , "I GOT ONE AND IT'S HUGE !" )

VampirePrince : How long is the effect suppose to last ?

Frankenstein : Dunno, the label didn't say anything.

( In the background - "HARKAT!" )

Frankenstein : Up for some turkey, Darren ?

( Another scream and thud could be heard )

VampirePrince : You betcha !

Frankenstein has signed off.

VampirePrince has signed off.

AUTHORS NOTE : In case you were wondering, Dick Cheney was that guy who shot his friend on a hunting trip and made global news.

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I'll probably make Gannen, Steve and R.V. enter the chat room in the next chapter. In the meantime, I'll try to update as much as possible before I leave for Medical School next week.