Summary :- What happens when the Darren Shan Saga crew discover the beauty of instant messaging ? Plenty of humour, crap and chaos inside .

Chapter 1

( Late one night in the chat room … )

VampirePrince : Cool ! I did not know that chatting can be so much fun !

Frankenstein : The point is to talk, Darren not coo …over about how cool it is.

VampirePrince : Um…Harkat ? Why do you pause on the screen ?

Frankenstein : Because I need to breathe - Hey, I can talk without pausing for breath ! This is cool ! ( jumps up and down happily )

VampirePrince : ( snort ) Yeah, look who's talking now …

Blondbrain : Larten is throwing a fit, he's been looking all over for you.

VampirePrince : Kurda, is that you ?

Blondbrain : WE ARE NOT SUPPOSE TO USE OUR REAL NAMES ! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA THAT WE COULD BE CARTED OFF TO THE HALL DEATH FOR THIS ! ( fuming so hard that smoke can be seen issuing out of Seba Nile quarters )

Frankenstein : Kurda, you're not in Seba's room, are you ? Because if you must know, he got this man-eating tarantula last week .

VampirePrince : Kurda, are you ok ?

( Suddenly, a girlish scream could be heard echoing throughout the mountain )

OneEyeHero : Darren, Larten asked me to tell you that Paris told Mika that Arrow told Arra that told Seba that told Vanez- that's me, that Cyrus told Perliat that Harkat –

Frankenstein : I didn't say anything !

OneEyeHero : - that told Larten he was looking for you.

VampirePrince : Oh.

CreepyCrepsley : DARREN SHAN !

VampirePrince : Mr. Crepsley, I thought you were illiterate !

OneEyeHero : He is. I can see him bullying Cyrus to help him convey his dissatisfaction as an uneducated citizen of the clan.


( Larten chases Vanez right pass Darren and Harkat, armed with a broom. At the same time, Kurda runs in the opposite direction whilst being pursued by Seba's pet tarantula - which is only 5 inches long. )

Frankenstein : Whoa, did you see that ?

VampirePrince : Yeah, Kurda can really run. I had no idea he could sprint.

MadamOcta : Feed me.

Frankenstein : Now this is creepy…Madam Octa actually surfs the net !


VampirePrince : ( shifty eyes ) You know, maybe I should go and check on how Vanez is faring against Creeply – I mean Crepsley. ( gulps ) Bye !

Frankenstein : Darren ! You're not running away from a spider, are you ? Darren –

VampirePrince has signed off .

Frankenstein : Bummer…

Sorry if it's not funny enough, I was bored so I just decided to cook a story of my own up. I promise the next chapter won't be dull. Anyway, I'm looking forward to any comments.


My many thanks goes to Alana for reviewing . I really appreciated your comment .

Chapter 2 .

VampirePrince : Is Mr. Crepsley still chasing Vanez with that broom?

Frankenstein : Yup.

( As if just to prove a point, Larten can be seen running in the background with Vanez screaming for his life. Suddenly, Kurda grabs the broom from Larten and smacks the spider with joyous gusto. )

VampirePrince : Oh boy, Seba is going to pull his hair out once he finds out his pet is bug juice.

Frankenstein : You don't say…

( A yell of triumph can be heard in the background followed by a smack and a thud as Mr. Crepsley sings out, " That is what you get for stealing my broomstick !" )

VampirePrince : Typical day in HQ, huh ?

( After 5 minutes …)

VampirePrince : Harkat, are you there ? HARKAT !

( Suddenly a bright flash of light permeates the cave )

Frankenstein : ( snickers ) Sorry I wasn't available…

VampirePrince : What are you up to ?

Frankenstein : You'll see …( grins evilly )

( Screams and shouts could be heard throughout the cave again. )

VampirePrince : WHAT IN THE NAME OF-

( Gavner and Mika run into the room, covered in soft white feathers. Clearly they resemble a bunch of half-plucked turkeys. )


RavenHead has signed off .

( A loud bang echoes through the room to announce the presence of DICK CHENEY ! )

IShotMyFriend : Whoa Harkat …You got two fine turkeys here ! Now the First Lady won't complain that we have nothing left to give the president's dog during Thanksgiving !

Frankenstein : Sure thing, Dick. One of your turkeys are running…( winks at Gavner who was trying to slip away unnoticed. )

IShotMyFriend : Wish I brought my glasses…( accidently shoots Kurda by mistake. )

( Mika can be seen screaming and running towards a bewildered Arrow for cover. )

VampirePrince : How did- ? What in Osca Velm- ?

Frankenstein : ( Tosses a red can towards Darren )

VampirePrince : ( eyes widening ) Acne Instant Feathers !

Frankenstein : Yup …I was actually planning on getting Gavner "feathered" but the can had a 5 meter effect radius so Mika got some of it as well.

VampirePrince : Whoa….remind me to never get on your bad side in the future…

( Another bang could be heard followed by screams - from Mika and Gavner no doubt, and a gleeful shout from Dick , "I GOT ONE AND IT'S HUGE !" )

VampirePrince : How long is the effect suppose to last ?

Frankenstein : Dunno, the label didn't say anything.

( In the background - "HARKAT!" )

Frankenstein : Up for some turkey, Darren ?

( Another scream and thud could be heard )

VampirePrince : You betcha !

Frankenstein has signed off.

VampirePrince has signed off.

AUTHORS NOTE : In case you were wondering, Dick Cheney was that guy who shot his friend on a hunting trip and made global news.


I'll probably make Gannen, Steve and R.V. enter the chat room in the next chapter. In the meantime, I'll try to update as much as possible before I leave for Medical School next week.