Christmas Present

I had picked it up in Seattle. You know- that funky little shop in Westlake Center, with the mosaic mirror mermaids out front? The one that sells all the purses with 50's mother figures commenting on how Wine Makes Mommy Happy and books like The Spotter's Guide To The Male Species andsuch?

Yeah. That one.

It was not Edward's only present that day, and far, far from being the most expensive, but he assured me repeatedly that it was his favorite once we were alone. I bought it based on his complaints about his lack of kitchen apparel lately. You might think Edward was beyond the point of caring what others thought, and what with all that money just lying around (I'm going to take a knife to that sofa of his sometime- they must stuff their furniture with it for lack of no better use.) a stained shirt would not be a catastrophe. Well, you would be quite wrong in that assumption.

God- I loved his cooking. And, there was just something really sexy about a long lean male making pasta for you. But I was getting a bit tired of the diatribe accompanying it about how there were no aprons in the world without lace, and how the apron-making-people were casting people in Traditional Gender Roles and it was their fault he now had alfredo sauce on his Brand New Shirt. He may be masculine, but apparently vanity runs so deep in the human psyche that even 100+ years and a new diet of a significantly darker cast can't extinguish it.

Not that I'm complaining or anything.

I eventually came to the conclusion that if I was going to be the only person he was cooking for (I had better be. I don't relish the idea of some restaurant coming and kidnapping him to slave in their kitchens for all eternity and evermore after they taste his culinary skills. I don't like sharing.) I had best enjoy the process. Yeah, it was clichéd, but that was what made it so hilarious. However, I'm still not quite sure it I was excited or deeply frightened by the look he gave me after he unwrapped his official, "KISS THE COOK" apron.

A/N: Edited 1/13/2007. Yeah… I made the mistake of re-reading some of my old work. Cue massive shudder. Small wonder I'm not getting any new readers… So, this has all been edited. Hope it's an improvement. XD

I actually own The Spotter's Guide To The Male Species. Quite funny. The author likes to compare various traits to those of Elvis.