100 Ways

Disclaimer: Characters, situations, etc. created by Maki Murakami, all rights hers, and so on and so forth. I am not she.


1. I let you paint the guest bedroom pink. Someday I may even get over it. When I'm 90. And blind.

2. I always buy strawberry pocky at the market. Even after that tabloid printed speculations about my sordid cookie habit.

3. I keep a box of bandages in the kitchen cutlery drawer. You're going to take a finger off one of these days and ruin my wallpaper. It's a good thing your punk friends do all the instrumentals now.

4. I've stopped trying to throw away that stupid mug of yours while you're at work. I can't believe you still drink out of that thing. It's been through more of our garbage than those idiot paparazzi.

5. I haven't even once considered changing the locks while you're gone. ...Well, not seriously. ...Okay, only once. And I gave you the new key the very next day. I thought you liked spending time with Hiro.

6. I've eased up on the restrictions on your driving my cars. "Not ever, not even if you're bored, not even if it's an emergency, not even if I leave my keys on the table, not even if I'm gone for the weekend, brat, not any time within the lifespan of this universe, don't even think about it, NO, you may not drive," has been changed to "When you pry the keys from my cold, dead fingers." Stop crying when I say that, it's a figure of speech.

7. I make sure there's dinner waiting for you every night, even if I'm not. You're too skinny. ... Apparently I'm becoming my mother.

8. There's a glittery purple pencil with heart stickers all over it on my desk. When you gave it to me, I did not make you eat it, even though it's so very, very shiny. So horribly damn shiny. Maybe next time Mizuki comes I can distract her with it. I'll throw it one way and head the other.

9. I've replaced half the beer in the fridge with chocolate milk. What are you, five?

10. I put up a picture of you in my office. I wish you'd stop harping on the fact that it's technically attached to the dartboard. I didn't feel like moving it. Besides, I keep the picture there despite the fact that, as in every other aspect of my life, you've ruined my skills at bar games. For months, I haven't come close to even hitting the target. Must remember to buy more spackle.


A/N: TBC, or at least that's the plan. It's hard for me to be able to tell how this is coming out, so please let me know what you think.