It had happened. As Elizabeth Weir nervously peeked out of her office, she knew the thing she had dreaded most since the mission began had finally happened. The grapevine had taken hold of Atlantis. It took longer than she'd expected. When they'd first arrived in the Pegasus Galaxy everyone was just getting to know each other. They all wanted to make a good impression and were consequently on their best behavior. But time had passed, friendships had formed, and the city's residents had become comfortable with each other. Unfortunately, despite their new friends, the expedition members found that when they weren't studying Ancient technology or narrowly avoiding having the life sucked out of them by the Wraith, things got boring. And of course, the only cure for said boredom was gossip.


"I was wondering when they'd get together."

"No way, it's not true. I still say she has a thing for Sheppard."

"Lt. Jerne saw them!"

"Well Zelenka said a few days ago that McKay had a crush on someone…"

"I heard they've been dating for over a month and they've been hiding it from Sheppard. When finds out he's going to kill him."

Kate Heightmeyersat down with her lunch tray at a table full of scientists deep in discussion.

"Kate! Have you heard the latest?"

Now normally Kate wasn't one for gossip, but if there was a particularly juicy rumor she couldn't just ignore it. After all, it might have some psychological impact on the people involved, and it just wouldn't do for the city's shrink to not know what was going on with her patients.

Without waiting for a response, the bouncy scientist proceeded to explain how Dr. McKay had been caught with Teyla in the Ancient's version of a broom closet.

Two hours later Kate was in Elizabeth's office discussing official business of some sort when she brought up the rumor about Teyla and Rodney.

"THEY WERE DOING WHAT WHERE?" Unbeknownst to her, Dr. Weir's angry shouts could be heard by passersby, most of whom were able to infer the topic and come to their own conclusions about Elizabeth's screaming. If only she knew she was just adding fuel to the fire.

A moment later Elizabeth was rushing into the control room where Rodney was busy berating Technician #3.

"Rodney. My office. Now." She turned abruptly and stomped away expecting him to follow, which he did, reluctantly.

His exit was followed by knowing looks and a chorus of "There's gonna be trooouuuble" from Technician #s2-5.

Rodney walked to his boss's office confused. Elizabeth was pissed, and he could have sworn he just saw Kate Heightmeyer scampering off guiltily as he entered. Having spent the past few days offworld, he hadn't been privy to the latest gossip.

"Rodney, sit."

He did as he was told like a good little puppy...uh, scientist...where did that come from?

"So," Elizabeth began slowly, taking a deep breath to calm herself, "I heard about you and Teyla."

"Me and Teyla?" Rodney echoed, even more confused. Whatever he'd been expecting, this surely wasn't it.

"Look Rodney, I know that it's hard to be out here so far from home, and I understand that it gets lonely sometimes, and that like any human being you have…needs."

Rodney tried to cut her off, beginning to get uncomfortable. "Um, Lizabeth…"

"Rodney, please, just let me finish."

Rodney nodded in reply.

Elizabeth took another calming breath and pressed on.

"It's nice that you and Teyla have found each other, but you could be a little more subtle about things. Really, a broom closet?" She began to get worked up again and rose from her chair. "Honestly Rodney, you aren't in junior high. And does the word 'discretion' mean nothing to you? Seriously Rodney? Seriously?"

Rodney stood up as Elizabeth began to sound like an episode of Grey's Anatomy…of course Rodney knew nothing of the show that had premiered a few months after he left for Atlantis, which can be seen at 10:00 Sunday nights on ABC, but he knew he needed to stop his friend before she went any further.

"Lizabeth, not to be rude, but what the hell are you talking about?"

"You and Teyla. You know…in a broom closet?" She watched a look of disbelief cross his face. "You don't know?" She gasped, "Oh no! This means…" She trailed off with a terrified look on her face.

"What is it?" Rodney questioned, beginning to worry.

"Grapevine. She answered as she nervously peered out of her office. "Atlantis's very own grapevine."


A/N: Ah, sorry this was so rushed. Also, I don't own Grey's Anatomy (I wish) or Atlantis and it's characters.

Next Chapter: Elizabeth explains the concept of the grapevine and contemplates the true cause of her anger, more rumors are spread, and plans are formed.

Oh, and just so you're warned, there may be some singing in the future hums I heard it through the grapevine Mwahahahaha!