Disclaimer-I don't own any HP charcters
Story by StormDancer
It is not light that we need, but fire; it is not the gentle shower, but thunder. We need the storm, the whirlwind, and the earthquake.
Sophia looked down at the note in her hand.
Meet me in Hogsmede. Tonight, midnight
She sighed. These notes had been a norm ever since she had gotten back together with Rob. She would sneak out, meet him, he would start sweet, and then get mad and hit her again. If she was lucky, he wouldn't try to make any improper advances. If she was even luckier, he wouldn't succeed. She had unusually bad luck.
Her attention was drawn from the note to the hand holding it. She flipped it over. Here, on her right wrist, were the vertical scars of her silent plea to end the pain of life. These she could show people, although she disliked doing so. They were scars that showed what she had gone through, something she was not completely ashamed of. She looked at the other wrist.
Here, the scars were horizontal. There were many more, symbols of her agony. No one knew about these. They were her weakness that she gave into this release of pain. She had thought the pain had ended when Rob went back to Durmstrangs, but that nearly fatal summer had caught up with her. The pain was back, and with it the reminder of why she had done what she was so ashamed of.
Sophia knew she would go to Rob, tonight. She always did. He probed into her, the only person who could make her feel vulnerable. If she didn't go, he would hurt her even worse. If she stood up to him, he would kill her. He almost had once. Remus was still trying to figure out why she had had those bruises the next day.
Sophia groaned and stretched. She winced as her sore muscles, made sorer by bruises, complained. She searched the darkened common room for any presences other than the old one of her past, but found none. She transformed, than slipped out of the portrait hole, heading towards the one eyed witch, hoping against hope Rob wouldn't be there tonight.
Sophia burst into the common room, her face covered in tears. She collapsed into an armchair, sobbing. She brought her hands up to her face to cover it, but winced away when they met the fresh bruises. Rob had been in rare form tonight. She had pulled away from one of his kisses, and he had beaten her harder than he ever had. And then he had done what he had always threatened to do. And so she sobbed, lost in a sea of pain.
The pain, she was drowning in it. It was suffocating her. The very real, physical pain, the pain of knowing that her friends should know, and the subtle pain that hid but was always there: the knowledge that she really did deserve this. She was a bad girlfriend, she needed to be beaten. Sophia sobbed harder. She grabbed her wand, and flipped over her right wrist.
"Sectumsempra," she muttered, pulling the wand over her a wrist. A deep cut appeared there, blood spurting out. She winced in pain, than relaxed. Here the physical pain was a good thing. It released the emotions. She would punish herself, no one else. She would give herself exactly what she deserved. She would be in control.
Once more, she pulled the wand across her skin and it cut deep. She sat staring at the cuts, reveling in the release of pain. A movement overhead recalled her to herself, and she stole upstairs, her cut wrist stinging and bleeding freely.
Remus sniffed the common room when he walked in that morning, dropping into his usual armchair to wait for his friends to come down. He smelled something out of the ordinary. If he didn't know better, he would have said it was blood. As a werewolf, he was sensitive to blood, even in human form. Yes, he was certain it was blood.
Remus rose and looked at the armchair. It seemed normal, no stains. Glancing at the floor, he jumped back, startled. Soaked deep into the floor was a deep, red brown stain. Remus didn't need werewolf senses to know what it was. 'Why the hell is there blood here?' he wondered.
Sirius and Peter came down the stairs, yawning and stretching. Remus jumped back from the armchair. For some reason, he didn't want his friends to know about the blood. 'It's probably nothing,' he reassured himself. All the same, he sniffed when his friends stood by him. He grinned in relief as there was no untoward scent on them.
"Why you so happy, Moony?" Sirius asked as he settled onto the couch to wait for the girls.
"Nothing, just glad I actually managed to wake up, unlike some people," Remus bantered.
Sirius grimaced at him. Remus laughed.
Sophia and Marie hurried down their stairs, Marie still drying her hair as she ran down the steps. Sophia followed more sedately behind. She did everything sedately now, Remus had noticed. She laughed even less, and her smiles never brightened his day as they used to. She had grown even more introverted. It was now an accomplishment to get her to talk.
The girls stopped next to the Marauders. More by instinct then any real conviction of the need, Remus sniffed. He stiffened in shock as a strange but familiar scent rolled off of Sophia in waves, assaulting his nose. His eyes widened as he glanced at her covertly, surveying her for any injuries. He found none.
"Come on, Remus! Lets go already! I'm hungry!" Peter whined. Sirius and Marie laughed, following the smaller boy out of the common room. Sophia moved to follow them.
"Sophia, wait," Remus stopped her. She turned to him, trying to smile but failing miserably.
"What?" she asked quietly. She had done everything quietly lately. The life had gone out of her.
"I want to show you something," he replied, leading her over to the bloody floor. She looked at it emotionlessly, showing no shock or surprise.
"And…" she prompted, "It's blood. So what?"
Remus stared at her in astonishment. She wasn't usually this callous or this thick.
"Sophia, there is a pool of blood on the common room floor that wasn't here last night. You haven't slept well lately and you smell like blood. Is there something you'd feel better confiding in me?"
Sophia's face hardened.
"Are you sure?"
"Than," he said, grabbing her wrist where he had noticed a small blood stain on her robe, "This doesn't hurt?"
Sophia winced as he grabbed her freshly cut wrist. How had he known? How could she have been so careless? She had though she had been careful since she had restarted cutting last week.
"Nothing?" he questioned sarcastically.
"No, Nothing," she said quietly, "Nothing you need to know about. I can deal with my own problems."
Remus gaped at her. He hadn't thought she would refuse help.
"Show me your wrists," he insisted.
"Dammit Sophia, show me your wrists!"
Sophia stared at him in horror and, he almost thought, fear. She slowly, reluctantly, pulled up her robes to show him her abused wrists.
He dropped her hands in shock at the red cuts that had been revealed, some reopened from his rough handling.
She hid her hands behind her back.
"Happy now?" she asked bitterly.
"Oh my God, Sophia, what happened? Can I help?" he asked concernedly.
Sophia glared at him, "It's gone too far now. You can't help. The only thing that stops the pain," she held up her raw wrists, "is this."
Remus stared hard at the pitiful sight. Underneath those scars and cuts was something else, bruises.
"It's Rob, isn't it?" he asked softly.
"YES, IT'S ROB! WHO ELSE WOULD IT BE?" she yelled, "WHO ELSE WOULD HIT ME? WHO ELSE WOULD USE ME?" she stalked out of the common room, leaving Remus standing in the wake of her words, trying to absorb this traumatic information.
Another day, another note, more pain, more cuts. That was the mindless progression of Sophia's days lately. Even when Remus had found out about her cutting, he hadn't done anything. He had just stared in horror. In horror of her, that she was so weak. He knew she deserved it as well.
A bell rang out once, twice, twelve times. 'Damn, It's midnight! I'm going to be late; he's going to kill me!' Sophia thought frantically as she dashed out of the common room, not noticing the portrait hole staying open a few more moments after the tiger rushed out of it.
'What the hell, whore?" Rob screamed, "Why are you fucking late? I don't have all night you know!"
Sophia cowered in front of him, collapsed at his feet from the beating she had just taken.
"You made me wait, so now I'm going to need more to keep me satisfied. You know that, bitch?" he threatened softly, grabbing her roughly and pulling her into a harsh and painful kiss. He pushed her away and began to unbuckle his pants. Sophia snapped. She stumbled to her feet, running the other way down the alley. He ran after her, screaming,
"You can't run from me, bitch! I'll always catch you! And now, I'm really angry!"
All this just made Sophia run faster as she fled blindly, her face covered with tears. She ran frantically until she smashed into an invisible body. Sophia collapsed into it, sobbing.
Remus pulled off the invisibility cloak.
"Sophia, what's wrong?" he asked, stroking her hair gently, "What happened?"
She could only point back the way she came and sob great wracking gasps, in a way Remus had never heard anyone cry, let alone the stoic Sophia. He hugged and comforted her quietly, not showing his happiness at holding her so close.
"Bitch! Where are you!" a voice echoed down the street. Rob stalked down the street, his belt unbuckled and flapping. Sophia went weak, but frantically tried to break out of Remus' grasp to escape. He held her tighter with one arm, drawing his wand with the other hand.
"Sophia doesn't want to come with you, Rob," Remus stated flatly, finally drawing the other boys attention.
"Oh she doesn't, does she?"
Rob laughed mirthlessly, "She'll come to me. She always does. She's a spaniel man; no matter how hard you kick she comes crawling back."
Sophia whimpered into Remus' chest.
'Expelliarmus!' Remus thought, pointing his wand at Rob. Rob's wand went flying into the air behind him.
"What's wrong?" Remus taunted, "Can't fight? You can abuse a girl who you know you can control, but can't take a fair fight?"
Rob looked at the irate boy, than at Sophia, still sobbing on Remus chest.
"You can have the spaniel, man. She's more trouble than she's worth. I never even got a proper lay!" he scuttled down the street, keeping one eye on Remus as he ran.
"It's okay," Remus murmured to Sophia, "He's gone."
Sophia looked up to see Rob disappearing in the distance.
"He'll be back."
Remus shrugged, "Than next time, ask me to help you before you get desperate. Okay?"
Sophia nodded silently.
"I'm serious, Soph. Control is well and good, but you have to open up sometime. We're your friends, we won't hurt you. We'll help you. I'll always be there for you."
"I know," Sophia admitted, "I know. I just can't think straight when he's around. He's always made me that way. But thanks," she hugged him again, "Thanks for standing by me."
"No problem," he replied, gingerly hugging her back, "We should get back."
"Yeah," Sophia agreed, "I want you to know, though, I'm still annoyed at the 'girl you can control' comment."
She began to trot off towards the Shrieking Shack. Remus grinned after her. That was the girl he knew…