Disclaimer – I don't own Invader Zim


Zim's New Slave 2: The Returnening
By Sanoon

Chapter 3: Waffles!

It was another rainy, storming day on the South Jersey Shore. The large, blank castle that housed the maniacal madman named Dr. Weird was, as always, dark and gloomy.

Dr. Weird, standing triumphantly in his lab, lifted up a sheet of paper that displayed the McDonalds logo, only upside down.

"Gentlemen, behold!" Dr. Weird shouted in his usual fashion. "My new emblem!"

"I-isn't that, like, copywriting or something?" Steve asked hesitantly.

"Not when I give it a Mohawk and a wheelchair," Dr. Weird shouted as he performed these actions by adding stickers to the paper.

"Is that going to work?" Steve asked.

"Yes," Dr. Weird quickly answered. After a quick second of overlooking his new emblem, he threw his head back and let out a triumphant laugh.

Thousands and thousands of miles away, in a large alien ship, two were watching this madman via a large telescope. "Zhey took my idea! Vee shall sue zhem!" The fat orange alien shouted.

"Well…we, ya know, can't sue them because we didn't copyright that Mohawk and wheelchair thing," the tall, skinny, green alien said.

'DAMNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!"


"I like these waffles," Meatwad said happily as he shoved another one into his mouth. From his seat, which had a few books on it to allow him to see above the table, he could see three different plates filled with waffles. Gir was giving him only one plate of waffles at a time. The one he was currently eating were just ordinary waffles, with no special ingredient added.

At this late point in the meal, Zim had just given up yelling at Meatwad and Gir and just sat down on one of the chairs on the other side of the table and was hopping to just wait for Gir to stop feeding Meatwad. At that point, Gir started whining for the little Irken to eat some of the food.

With the little robots constant whining, and Zim's short fuse, he was forced to start consuming the waffles.

The little Irken had learned his lesson from before when Gir started feeding him waffles. He wouldn't make the same mistake again. He watched the little robot carefully to make sure which waffles were good to eat, and which ones would cause him to throw up later. He made sure that Meatwad got all of the 'bad' ones.

Another plate consumed as Gir took the empty plate away from Meatwad and gave him a new full one. "This one has bacon, ham, and frosting in it," the robot happily stated.

"Alright, protein," Meatwad said happily. "They build up the muscles, ya know, and I need me some more muscles. I'm looking like a fat weakling, and I ain't gettin much of a workout recently."

"I know what chu mean," the little robot said slowly.

When Gir jumped off of his chair to make another batch of waffles, Zim grabbed his shoulder and pulled him close. "Add this to the mix," Zim whispered to Gir after revealing to him a vial of green liquid.

"Okey dokey," Gir said with a nod, snatching up the vial and running off to make another batch of waffles.

Zim smiled happily as Gir made the next batch of waffles, eyeing his every move. Sure enough, Gir did add the liquid to the mix. Although, the little robot just threw in the vial instead of draining the liquid into it like any normal person would do. Fortunately, the vial would be smashed open when Gir starts mixing it, so he still didn't have to worry. Just a few more minutes and Meatwad will no longer bother him for the rest of time.

"Waffles!" Gir shouted as he threw another plate onto the table.

"I'm kinda full right now," Meatwad said slowly, rubbing a spot where his stomach supposedly was. "I done ate 56 waffles."

"NO!" Zim shouted, jumping up from his seat and onto the table. "You should eat at least one more! Zim commands it!" during this, Gir started sobbing uncontrollably because of the lack of waffle eating.

After a second of watching Zim stare at him shaking his fist wildly at him, and Gir's horrible crying, Meatwad had no choice but to accept. "Alright, maybe just one waffle, but if I explode, I am blaming this camp."

"Fine," Zim growled.

Meatwad grabbed one of the waffles from the new plate and shoved it into his mouth. Zim's eyes stared as a grin grew across his face, while Gir jumped in joy in the background, screaming his little head off.

"Well…that was good," Meatwad commented. Zim threw his head back as evil laughter escaped his throat.

"AHAHAHAHAHA! Pitiful meatball! Prepare for your impending doom, Meat child! You'll rue the day you met Zim! HAHAHA!"

With Gir and Zim laughing for no reason, that left Meatwad in a confused state. "Hey, whach'a all laughing about?"

Zim's laughter slowly stopped as he stared at Meatwad. His look turning from a happy one, to a confused one. The little Irken jumped off of the table and grabbed Gir by the head, halting the robots laughter.

"Gir, didn't you put the poison into the waffle mix like I told you to?"

"I diiiiiid," Gir droned.

"Then why isn't he on the floor writhing in pain?" Zim asked himself. After a second of thought with useless conclusions, he jumped back onto the table, knocking over the waffles, and crawled up to Meatwad. "Do you feel any sort of HORRIBLE pain in your little gut…region…thing?"

"Ugh-uh. I'm fine. Except for this burning sensation I'm feeling in the back of my throat. Other than that, I'm good."

"Impossible, nothing can survive that much poison!"

"Poisons are nothing to me," Meatwad commented. "My body consumes everything."

Zim's eye twitched in fury as Gir kicked out one of the supports for the table, sending the angry Irken falling to the floor, screaming in rage the entire way.


In a house, not too far away, a boy paced the living room floor, explaining his new plan to his audience. "Today is the day Gaz. Today I will reveal Zim's true nature to the world."

"Go away." Gaz growled from her spot on the couch, with her GameSlave 2 in hand.

"I've been going at this the wrong way this whole time," the boy continued as if his sister didn't say anything. "I've been trying to gain access to his base through the front yard. That's where all of his defenses are. But if I were to go behind the house, then I might just get inside."

"Stop talking."

"Listen Gaz, this is the fate of the world here. I'm Earth's last hope. It's up to me-"

"Then why don't you go save the world and leave me alone?" Gaz interrupted.

"You're right Gaz, I shouldn't waste my time here when the fate of the world is at stake. I'll be home before Mysterious Mysteries is on." Dib waved goodbye to his sister, a favor that she didn't return, and bolted out of the front door with his invisibility suit and special ops vision goggles.