Disclaimer: Hellsing belongs to Kouta Hirano.
Author's Notes: Dedicated to Dawninhell for her anniversary inside the fandom. This story was inspired by her art piece Ingénue (link: deviantart . com/view/17909547/). Edited by Puck 3/4, response to one of 30 kisses themes (# 12: "In a good mood"). Feedback is welcomed. Post war fic.
She hated to look so pretty, to wear make up and that cute turquoise dress she had found in good condition during a routine flight over London. In times like these, Seras Victoria wished vampires really could not cast reflections, so she would not see how beautiful she looked now.
It was all bothersome: arranging her hair, trying on the lace shoes and the pearl collars, applying perfume and eyeliner. She had never been partial to dress up yet she did it once a week, she did it for him.Captain…
Seras called him without moving her lips and sat down. Her Master had patronized her about the 'dates' she had with Bernadotte's dead soul but she did not listen. Eventually he stopped talking about it, ignoring like usual happened when she did not obey. Integral did not know. She would be furious if she found out her –their- secret and had too much to worry like her destroyed country and brainwashed butler.
Captain, I'm ready, Seras called him once again from the confines of her darkest system. There was blackness there that frightened her and she felt guilty to store Pip there but had no choice. Having his presence in her mind would turn both insane in the long run.
She sat on a comfortable cushion and waited, leaving the soft background music on and an ignited cigarette on the astray beside her. Smoking and a cute girl, those things always put him on a good mood.
"There's so much silence there," he had told her during their first date, just after he had helped her to regenerate her arm. His transparent figure was shaking like a leaf, Seras would never forget that. She wanted to comfort him, to soothe his fears away but could not. "So dark and silent. Talk to me, Seras. Say something! Where are you! There's still darkness everywhere!" Because he talked, she was not able to.
His presence emerged from her body; Seras paled and felt her system paralysing, remaining still with her lips parted and her hands hanging between her legs. She could still listen, smell and feel but her mouth could not move and the world turned as black as the darkness within her. She sensed him drawing the cigarette from the astray at her side and embracing her from behind.
"Seras," Pip murmured, kissing her hair with cold lips. She shivered involuntary and remained stiff. "How long will you keep us waiting, Mignonette?"
No words came from her mouth. He kissed the ends of her hair.
Seras silently apologised for the suffering she was causing him but she could not take another soul to fuel her existence. She was afraid an enemy would take over and did not look forward to killing an innocent on their behalf.
"You'll want to be a China Doll every time we are on a date? Unmoving, blind and mute because I can speak, move and see?"
Tears streamed out her eyes, sliding through her pale cheeks. Truth hurt her, she was good at ignoring her Master's words but when came from her Captain's mouth was so different. The salty drops barely soaked her lips; Pip wiped them away, holding her head gently.
"Oh merde. Ssh. I'm sorry, Seras. I'm so sorry. I'm a prat," he babbled. "You look so cute. You dressed up only for me?" murmured Pip breathlessly, brushing their lips together. Transfixed, he did not realize he was exhaling the smoke on her but that was okay, after all he could not smell the awful stench of tobacco unlike her. "I just wish I could hear your pretty voice to take me away of this maddening silence. Feel your soft skin on mine. I know I can be selfish, heartless bastard."
He kissed her, smiling. Seras knew Pip suffered and always hid his pain behind grins so she would not to cry. He smiled for her, she wept for him - a fair trade. How she yearned to enfold him with her slim arms, whisper words of comfort but he could see the light away from her consuming darkness.
How long would she keep this? She had wondered while she lay immobile on his strong, phantom arms.
I should be the one asking forgiveness, Seras thought while Pip lifted her to make her rest on his chest. He tickled her forearms playfully before tangling her short strands, waiting in vain for a reaction on her part. I'm sorry, Captain but I'm a silly girl that cannot take another soul. For now, I'll be a vampiric china doll and hope that will be enough for you as it is for me.
She wanted to said those words aloud but even if she could muster that. He could not listen; he was deaf as she was blind and mute.
So many people had lost more than they during the war, Seras would not complain for their fates as long they had each others - his caresses and the tune playing always put her in a good mood.