Disclaimer: Y'all know the drill I don't own Law and Order SVU or it's characters they belong to Dick Wolf and I am borrowing them for known profit purposes.

We all wonder why were here, we've lasted far longer than most in this unit. It's strange the way the world is, the sick things we see everyday how could the world have fallen so far?

We seem to be at the bottom of the darkness here at the 1-6 we see the most horrible things we listen to the saddest stories. How do we do it, how do we survive? Still we chose the life we have, each of us had our own reasons, some reasons darker than others for taking this job.

Yet despite the horrors we see, the sleepless nights and the lonely days we continue to do our jobs without complaint. Each day is the same, another day another victim another rapist to track down. It never seems to get better, it probably never will.

I lie uselessly on my bad unable to sleep or perhaps I'm just afraid to, afraid to dream and relive the day's events. I'm sore from running around all day, chasing perps and trying to save people. But we can never seem to save them; the victims, once they're victims that's all they'll ever be and we can't save them from themselves, from their own sorrows and nightmares.

I roll over a few times trying to get in a more comfortable position but every time I turn I hurt one of my old bruises. But I don't mind the pain, it's the stones, the bad memories that way heavily on my heart that bring me pain.

The face of a seven-year-old victim floats in and out of my head then strangely I feel myself drifting and then I'm asleep. I dream of peaceful fields and forests. Calm, peaceful, I see myself living in the forest, peaceful happy, I no longer have bags under my eyes from sleepless nights, I live in a care free world.

Suddenly I awoke again to the sound of my alarm clock, the peacefulness of my dream lingers for a moment before vanishing completely. Now I felt sick and I didn't want to see another day. All I wanted was to live in that forest though I knew I was being greedy. My life is better than many as it is. But maybe I thought as I lay in my bed listening to the sounds of the street outside I could leave live out that life in the forest for a while until I actually wanted to return. Maybe I wouldn't want to return but I was sick of the life I had as detective Olivia Benson for the first time I didn't care about the victims only myself and I knew that when I went to work that day I would quit.

Author's note: So what do you think? If it's that bad I wont write another chapter, however if you like it tell me and I'll continue. Constructive criticism is welcome so don't be shy! Hehehe.