Summary: Successful in his attempt to hook up Harry and Draco, Ron sets his sights on his DADA teacher and the Hogwarts Potion Master, who have been sharing discreet (so they thought) looks at the teacher's table.
Disclaimer: JKR owns. I do not. I bow to her greatness.
Author Notes: This is a sequel to "The Gryffindor Who Should Have Been a Slytherin". This one is a bit longer and it's from several different POV's. Oh...and HBP did NOT happen – AT ALL. DUMBLEDORE LIVES, PEOPLE!
Draco and I were snuggled up together on the couch in the Gryffindor common room when Ron burst through the portrait hole, Hermione hot on his heels.
"Hey Weasley! Where's the fire?" Draco grinned.
"Not now, Malfoy!" Ron gasped, running around the back of the couch.
"Ronald Bilius Weasley, you get your arse back here this instant!" Hermione shouted.
Whoa! I gaped.
Everyone present in the common room dropped what they were doing in shock. In the 7 years we've all known Hermione, we had never once heard her say anything stronger than an occasional "damn". To hear her shout "arse" and at Ron, her boyfriend of just over a year, was something to write The Prophet about.
"Hermione, what's going on?" I, sitting behind Draco, ventured to ask.
"Your brother," she hissed, "has got this idiotic idea in his head to try and set up our esteemed Potions Professor, yes your godfather, Draco with our esteemed Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor, your own godfather, Harry."
- - -
You're probably wondering about that "brother" comment, I imagine. Not much story to tell, really. When I reached my majority, Molly and Arthur Weasley asked for my permission to legally adopt me. They treated me far better than The Dursleys and I was glad to be rid of my mum's family. I now had my own place on The Weasley Family Clock, and if I have any say about it, after we've left school, Draco will have his on there as well. But that's a later story for another time.
You didn't think I'd give up on Draco now that I actually have him, did you?
Fools you lot are.
- - -
"Is that true, Ron?" I asked the cowering red-head. Ron looked up over the back of the couch at his scowling girlfriend.
"Merlin's balls, Weasley! What potion fumes have you been inhaling?" Draco gaped. "Even I know not to mess with Snape's love-life!"
"Or lack of one." I muttered, earning a smack on the leg from Draco. "Sorry."
"Ron, we all hold Professor Snape and Professor Lupin in high regard, especially after what they did for Harry last summer. How can you even think of doing that to them?" Hermione demanded.
"If you'd seen the way they were looking at each other at breakfast, you'd agree with me that there's something there." Ron answered.
"But I thought Snape hated Lupin?" Draco frowned. I started thinking about Snape's Pensive and agreed with Draco.
"When you go to lunch, take a look and you'll see what I mean." Ron requested.
- - -
Lunch found all of us in the Great Hall, covertly watching Snape and Lupin at the teacher's table.
"Would you look at that?" Draco gaped in awe. I looked up from my plate in time to see Lupin staring at Snape in much the same way I usually stared at Draco just after an orgasm. When Snape looked up at Lupin, I was surprised to see my godfather blush and look away just as quickly.
"Bloody hell!" Hermione gasped in a harsh whisper. That meant that this was a serious development indeed.
"I told you so." Ron gloated.
"Shut it, Ronald." Hermione sighed.
"So what are we going to do about this?" I wondered.
"Nothing." Hermione replied. Ron stared at her. "No, Ron. Your little matchmaking scheme may have worked for Harry and Draco, but these are teachers we're talking about. No. Absolutely not."
"You're a bit of a hypocrite, Hermione." Ron stated, earning him a glare from his girlfriend.
"I beg your pardon?" she scowled.
"You had no problem with me playing matchmaker for Harry and Draco but you have a problem with me trying to set up Snape and Lupin. Are you blind? You've seen the way they look at one another."
"But nothing, Hermione! Those two men have had more pain and heartache in their lives than any person alive, with the exception of our Harry, and I think they deserve some happiness. Even if it is with each other." Ron jumped to his feet, grabbed his books and left the Great Hall, all without touching his food.
- - -
There was silence for a few moments after Ron's outburst.
"I should go talk to him." Hermione said.
"I think you should leave him alone for a bit." I surprised myself by saying.
"But-" she started.
"Granger, Weasley didn't touch his food. At all. That should give you a clue how pissed he is right now." Draco added. Hermione seemed to fold in on herself and simply nodded. I reached across the table and took her hand.
"Give him some time, 'Mione. He does love you, you know."
"Yeah. Thanks Harry." she sighed. "We better get to class." She gathered her books and left.
I tossed my books across my bed and sat down heavily.
"I can't believe her!" I groused. "It's not going to stop me from what I need to do. It just feels right I do this."
"Want some help?" came a familiar voice behind me. I whirled around and saw Harry and Draco standing in the door.
- - -
Hard to believe I set them up at the beginning of the school year. And I was proud of that accomplishment. Why couldn't Hermione see what I was trying to do? What I felt I needed to do.
- - -
I watched as Draco led Harry to his bed and they both sat down across from me, Draco's fingers intertwined with Harry's the whole time.
"What?" I asked.
"Do you want some help?" Draco asked again. "With Snape and Lupin?"
"You want to help me?" I was shocked.
"Of course. I was listening at lunch, you know."
"I want to help, too, Ron." Harry added. "Lupin is my godfather after all. And for some odd reason, those two seem perfect for each other."
"Truth be told, I didn't know Sev swung that way." Draco shrugged. "Quite interesting to know, really."
"So how do we go about this?" Harry wondered.
"I don't quite know really. Hadn't gotten that far yet." I grinned sheepishly.
"I think Dumbledore can help." Harry stated. "He thinks of Snape as a son and wants to see him happy.
"Think we can ask him, today?" Draco wondered.
"Let's go and ask." I grinned, getting to my feet.
Ron's mad at me.
And with good reason this time.
But setting up two teachers whom I respect seems wrong to me. It's just not ethical in any way, shape or form.
Harry's always telling me to loosen up and live a little. Not everything in life can be solved with a book.
Am I so involved with books I can't see what's happening right before my eyes?
As I watched Professor Lupin and Professor Snape at lunch, I wondered for a moment if that was the way Ron looked at me before we got together. It certainly looked like the way Harry and Draco had been eying each other for so long.
Ok, maybe Ron does seem to know what he's doing. He did get Harry and Draco together. I'll admit it.
Maybe I'm wrong about this.
Maybe I am the hypocrit Ron accused me of being.
Maybe I can help him in his quest to be Cupid.
If I can get him to talk to me again.
It was Harry's job to get us in to Dumbledore's office. It was Ron's job to outline the plan. It was my job to convince the Headmaster that it could work.
"Flobberworms" I heard Harry speak in front of the statue guarding Dumbledore's office. I arched an eyebrow at him. "His dentist told him no more sweets." Harry explained as if it was the answer to the mysteries of life. The statue moved aside and we ascended the stairs.
"Come in, boys." Dumbledore called out as I raised my hand to knock.
"How does he know we're out here?" I wondered.
"It's Dumbledore, Malfoy." Weasley sighed, rolling his eyes at me. Like that explained anything. Harry stifled a laugh when I glared at him.
"What Ron means, is that Dumbledore always seems to know someone's outside his door. I think he has wards up or something." Harry explained.
"Then why the big joke? At my expense may I add." I scowled.
"I just like teasing you, Malfoy. Don't be a git." Ron grinned.
"How would you like me to tell Hermione your secret wank fantasy?" I got back a little of my own when I saw him pale.
"How did you-"
"You talk in your sleep, Ron." Harry grinned. I had the pleasure of watching Weasley's face turn as red as his hair.
- - -
So you're curious as to what Ron's secret wank fantasy is?
I shouldn't tell you.
But I'm going to tell you anyway because it's so deelish.
He likes to be tied up and spanked like a red-headed step-child.
And Hermione's his dominatrix.
Dressed all in leather she is.
Told you it was deelish.
- - -
"Ok, Malfoy. Call us even." Ron groaned.
The door in front of us opened and Dumbledore looked at us with his customary twinkle. I swear he has the market cornered on "amused twinkles".
"As amusing as your conversation is, I do have a bit of work to complete, gentlemen." Dumbledore stated.
"Sorry, sir." The three of us replied. We followed him inside and sat down before him.
"Lemon drop?" he asked, holding out the dish.
"I thought your dentist told you no more sweets, Albus?" Harry chided.
Albus? What the bloody hell? This surprised me. Since when was my boyfriend on a first-name basis with the leader of our school?
"Ah but Harry, what he doesn't know won't hurt him." Albus grinned.
"Don't let Minerva see you eating those. She'll tell Poppy."
Minerva! Poppy! I was gobsmacked.
"Just how many teachers are you on a first-name basis with?" I asked. Harry took a moment to think.
"All of them except your godfather." he replied.
"Merlin's tit!" I exclaimed. Dumbledore cleared his throat and I had the good grace to be embarrassed. "Sorry, sir."
"Now, gentlemen. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?"
Both Harry and I looked at Ron. It was his turn.
"Well, sir. We've noticed something odd is going on with Professor Lupin and Professor Snape." Ron began.
"Odd? In what way?"
"Well, sir, if I may be so bold...they keep staring at each other."
I dropped my head in my hands and groaned.
Could Weasley be any more dense?
"I see." Dumbledore began slowly. "And what do you suppose is the cause of this so-called staring contest, Mr Weasley?"
"Simple, sir. They fancy each other." Ron stated. Dumbledore stared at the 3 of us for a good long while. It was starting to make me uncomfortable. Apparently Harry and Ron were use to it.
Dumbledore began to laugh. Great big bellows of laughter that seemed to come from the bottom of his feet.
"So my boys, how do you propose we go about getting them together?" Dumbeldore grinned, leaning forward in his chair eagerly.
I guess I didn't have to convince him after all.