Cloudy days produce such a pleasant and warm feeling in my stomach. I cannot explain it. Cloudy days provide a comfort to my soul---a security. The feeling of looking out to a flat land, a gray sky, damp grass. I feel safe.
And then there is you.
You with your green vest and and mask. You with your silver hair moving lightly with the cold breeze. You with your hands in your pockets, obviously trying to keep them warm. You with your eyes looking towards something I cannot even imagine in my head.
I cannot help looking at you. Your beautiful profile. Those dark eyes, that perfect nose, those lovely lips, all covered under the soft, dark material. You are like a painting of some death god with the gray and gloomy sky behind you. You are beautiful and dangerous. The coldness of the winter air around us cannot prevent the warmth inside of me as I look at you.
You suddenly turn towards me, in your slowly and almost methodically way. Your sleepy eyes look deep into mine and I feel caught and embarrass of being discovered. As if sensing my awkwardness, you smile lightly---like you always do, the corner of your eyes wrinkling. I know that smile by memory; no, not even a smile…it is more of a light lifting of the corner of your lips. Very subtle. Not many people would notice you were actually smiling. But I notice.
I want to reach out to you, touch you, place my head on your shoulder, but I find myself ridiculously stuck in my place. You seem to notice my weird hesitation because you move from your sitting spot closer to me, and taking your right hand from your pocket you reach to my gloved hands. Slowly you remove the glove and the cold air surrounds my previously warm hand. You reach out your other hand and cover mine as if to protect it from the cold; your eyes never leaving mine. Lifting it slowly to your face, you kiss the tip of my fingers, through your mask, provoking a shiver to go through my body. My hand feels strangely cold and warm at the same time. I can feel your hot breath through the material against my flesh and your cold hands holding it tightly. The feeling is wonderful.
I cannot help it anymore and I feel the immense urge to touch you. I love how slow and careful you can be; however, sometimes I need to touch, too. I reach my other hand and grasp your arm tightly. Your eyes open in surprise as I push you down against the big blanket we had spread underneath us. Figuring out my intentions, you smirk. I can almost hear a chuckle coming from your lips. You relax against my motion of pushing you down, submitting to my demand. I do not follow you immediately. I cannot help look at you as I lean above you. Your mismatched eyes sparkling with some feeling I cannot recognize. You reach out your hand and lightly grasp a lock of my pink hair, which had now fallen around my face as I was leaning. Very lightly and carefully you pull it, as if to tell me to come down and be there with you.
I let myself go…and close the space in between us. Your scent engulfs me and I cannot help closing my eyes.
"No…open them," you silently whisper.
As I open them I look straight into your eyes. In a quick motion, you pull your mask down, tilt your head up and capture my lips in a light kiss. We stay like that for about three seconds, just enjoying the sensation of our lips united. However, I want more…more of you and your essence. So, I part my lips. You immediately react and deepen the kiss.
I suddenly realize that I never liked kissing until I kissed you. That thought brought a smile to my lips, and I see you lift an eyebrow as we still have our mouths connected. Just the look in your eyes causes me to break into a laugh and we separate. You look amuse, though at the same time I can sense a bit of frustration because I interrupted our union.
"I'm sorry…," I say, still chuckling a bit. You just shake your head in disapproval and amusement, a smirk on your lips. I see you close your eyes once more and lay back against the blanket again, beckoning with your hand to lay with you. I quickly obey and rest my head against your chest. You began to play with my hair, something that brings such pleasure to me (and I'm sure you know that).
The cold breeze keeps surrounding us and we can hear the distant sound of the noises of the village. However, in our presence and moment everything is silent.
I shiver a bit because of the cold. Suddenly I feel myself being pushed back against the blanket and I see you get on top, your legs entangling with mine, your chest on top of mine, yet you are careful to not let all your body weight fall against me. I'm about to tell you something but you interrupt every thought or word by shoving your face and lips against my neck, kissing the same spot right beneath my ear, so slowly and sensually. I cannot help sucking in my breath.
Though you may read perverted books in public surroundings, you never take advantage of me. You never start roaming your hands around my body. On the contrary, you are so much of a gentlemen that I confess I'm the one tempted to heat things a little more. But we both know better.
You think I don't know...but, I do. I can see and sense how hard you try to control yourself.
Nonetheless, the knowledge of keeping limitations and not going overboard makes it so painfully tempting.
You suddenly stop your ministrations, but keep your face still close to my neck. I can feel your hot breath against it as I look up at the gray sky.
I'm so happy.
We stay like this for a long while, time going by endlessly. However, it starts getting more cold and we both can sense it. You quietly get up, which makes me pout a little because of the sudden separation of heat. You laugh lightly and stretch your hand towards me. I grasp it as you lift me up.
"Don't interrupt now…" you say.
My confusion immediately disappears as you close the space in between and kiss me deeply. All my senses suddenly are taken over by you. It's all you.
I reach my hands to the back of your head, trying to get you closer. You hold my waist tightly. Everything becomes you…and I…and us.
You suddenly break apart, breathing very deeply and hard. I cannot argue, for I am breathing exactly the same. You close your eyes for moment and take a deep breath.
"Common…let's go," you say calmly.
We walk back towards the village, and as we are getting close to the gates I look up towards the cloudy sky and the green pastures we are about to leave behind.
"Let's come back some other time, okay?" I say, though my eyes are looking towards the sky, not the scenery.
I sense you smile.
"On a cloudy day?" you asked, amused.
Yes…on a cloudy day.
This was written in honor of...venting. :P Viva KakaSaku!