Merchant's Thoughts

The overly muscular guy that looked like he was on steroids came.

He asked for the bow and strafe.

I asked him to pay; he almost round-housed me. (I've Matrix moves when the Protagonist ain't here.)

I hate my job.

That Asian woman in the red dress came.

She asked for the grappling gun.

I asked her to pay; she almost choked me. (I had to bribe her into letting go.)

I'm thinking of going homicidal.

That man with a burlap sack over his head came.

He asked for the chainsaw.

I asked him to pay; he almost decapitated me. (Matrix moves, mates, Matrix moves.)

I'm thinking of going suicidal.

That Spanish man with the bad accent came.

He wanted the extra Red9.

I asked him to pay, eight times; he almost shot me, twice. (I'm totally the One.)

Mommy.

That religious cult leader came.

He asked for the ceremonial rod.

I asked him to pay; he almost stabbed me with a tentacle. (He sucks at aiming.)

I've had so many near-death experiences now.

That guy with the black shades came.

He asked for the silenced pistol.

I asked him to pay; he almost threw me. (I had to bribe this bloke too.)

I want to break his shades.

That guy with the gas mask came.

He wanted the custom TMP.

I asked him to pay; he almost broke my neck. (This one demanded more in his bribe. Little Bastard.)

Why does everyone want to kill me?

That insanely short (and insane) castellan came.

He asked me for a technical team.

I asked him to pay; he almost kicked me in the groin. (He's that short!)

Why doesn't anyone pay?

That tall American with the President's Daughter trailing him came.

He asked for the P.R.L 412.

I asked him to pay; he did. (HAHAHAHAH)

Someone was actually stupid enough to pay me.