Dealing with loss...
"We all deal with loss in different ways, we can scream, we can can cry, we bottle it up. Either way, we all have to deal with loss...Great words from a great man..." Tails muttered as he closed the small book and left it outside his best friend's doorway, lingering there for a few moments longer, hoping that maybe the hedgehog would emerge so he could talk to him, even if all he recieved in reply was a grunt of somesorts. When he knew it plain obvious that Sonic wasn't going to come out of his room anytime tonight, he turned heel and headed down the hall, casting a sad glance of the eye back every once and a while before dissappearing inside his own room.
Severe depression had coursed through Sonic's veins eversince he died...he had been the only one to ever fully understand him...the only one to feel his pain...the only one who could ever fully connect with him...or would have been able to...if he had been given just a little bit more time...
Sonic shuddered at the memory of his demise as he lightly touched the hand where he'd been scratched, whenever he peeled off his glove, the scar was still there, he knew that it would always be there, always be there as a constant reminder of his failure, of his trauma, of everything. He shuddered more violently, nuzzling deeper under his blankets, trying to hide away in a sense. The rain hitting against his window didn't help anything either, just made him even more restless than he had been in a long while. Finally, deciding that nothing could be done to get him to sleep peacefully, he threw the blankets onto the floor and stormed out of his room, tripping over a small book in the process. With a growl, he snatched the cursed object up and squinted through the darkness, trying to see through the night to the title 'dealing with loss?...WHAT THE HELL?' he thought angrilly, sqeezing it so hard his knuckles turned white underneath his gloves 'Its not like I could have done anything! He slapped my hand away!' he told himself
Is that really any excuse? Sonic groaned, this menacing voice had plagued him for the past week and a half
'Yes! I TRIED!' he defended himself
Tried and failed, failed more than tried... this voice hissed to him. Sonic shuddered once more
'n-no...' he thought
Yes. Come on, you know more than anyone YOUR no hero! it scoffed
't-that not what everybody else thinks...'
That's not what everybody else thinks! it mocked Come on! You know more than anyone your just a weak, pathetic, lonely...
'stop it...' he tried to intergect
Pitiful, scared excuse for a tenyear old crybaby! it finished NO way in hell could YOU ever be a hero...and Metal knows it...you can ask him! Oh wait! You can't! He's DEAD! D-E-A-D! DEAD!
Sonic clenched his eyes shut, feeling a too familiar stinging sensation at the back of his eyelids 'stop it...'
Oh look, he's gonna cry...Metal would LOVE to see this... it mocked once more
IT!" Sonic yelled out, tears coursing down his cheeks as
forcefully threw the book away from him, sending it crashing with a
heavy THUD into the wall infront of him.
All of this commotion, brought Tails running out of his room
"What the hell was that!" the two tailed genious cried out, extremely alarmed. Sonic didn't pay attention to him
"stop it...stop it...stop it..." he kept muttering as his feet buckled right under him, sending him into a kneeling position, hunched over with sobs coursing their way through his skinny frame. Tails stared, amazed and fascinated. Not once had he seen this from the hedgehog, not at school, not at home, not anywhere, it was just amazing. After about a moment, Tails stepped forward, and slowly rested a hand on the top of Sonic's head, feeling his soft blue fur, but it didn't last long, as Sonic jerked away with a yelp of surprise, mixed with a cry of fear. The fox gasped, now alarmed as the slightly older boy hunched himself up into a ball in the corner, knees drawn to his chest and face hidden away, a broken sight for sore eyes indeed. After summoning up the nerve, Tails knelt down next to him "its a loss...you gotta deal with the loss...he wasn't real Sonic...he was-"
IT! STOP IT NOW!" Sonic screamed out at the top of his
lungs, his brown eyes shimmering with anger as he leapt up back on
his feet "That's Not True! He Was Real! He Was More Than
Real! He Was-He Was A Part Of Me! He Was ALWAYS A Part Of Me!
And Now He's Gone!" he screamed out, suddenly realizing what
he'd just said "he's gone..." he whispered out, repeating
it in a mutter a few times over, turning away from Tails and walking
away. Tails watched him carefully for a few moments before following
"Sonic. Sonic what are you doing?" he called "Sonic. Don't do something you'll regret!" he cried out, breaking into a run and heading into the kitchen where he'd seen his friend dissappear "Sonic I-SONIC!" he cried out at the sight. The blue one was holding a knife limply in his hand, dangling it over his arm
"its the only way..."
"Sonic...If you put that down we can-"
"the only way...only way I'll ever feel complete...only way I'll get back what's missing..." Sonic mused to himself
missing Sonic? What's missing? We'll get it back...I promise,
whatever's missing we can-"
"No Tails...ya can't...ya can't get it back...ya can get back somebody's life...byt ya can't get back one thing that really matters...ya can't get back somebody's soul..." he mused once more, before viciously slashing the appliance deep into his arm, causing crimson blood to fly everywhere
"SONIC!" Tails cried out, sprinting over to help as the hedgehog, immediately collapsed "SONIC! SONIC! SOOONNNNIIIICCC!"
bright light shining in his eyes woke him up, at first he'd thought
he'd succeeded, thought he'd done it...but he realized how wrong he
was when he finally heard the hustle and bustle around him, and saw
one angry looking older hedgehog. Weakly, Sonic propped himself up on
his arms, recoiling in pain when he noticed his left one, bandaged
and soaked with blood. He stared deeply at it, eyes wide and
childlike, before feeling the older ebony green hedgehog roughly take
him by his shoulders and pull him into some sort of hug. The hug
wasn't what he was used to, Manic had him in the right position, but
was pinching right into his skin, making him writhe and squirm in
pain after a few seconds
"Hurts? GOOD! Don't you EVER think about doing that again!" he heard him growl "If you ever feel the need to, remember that pain I'm giving ya now, that's how I felt and ten times WORSE!" he hissed "Worry, stress and freakin' releif when you just woke up!" Manic pulled away from him, and Sonic squirmed slightly, not from any sort of pain, but from the way Manic was looking at him, tears were seeping down his green cheeks from his sapphire eyes. Sonic looked away, blinking back his own tears while looking down at his arm, only to have Manic cup his face and force him to look back up "I'm not covering for you like THIS again! Do it once more...and its an institution...Got it?" he spat. Sonic nodded fearfully
"u-uh-huh..." he whimpered. Manic nodded and encircled him once more, only doing it right this time...trying to make as much pain drain out of his little brother as possible. But Sonic couldn't let it simply drain out of him, it clung to him, clung to his non-existant soul...and he knew, that it would always be there, from now, until the day he died normally...