Hi fan fiction reader peoples! Um, here's a story to you from me. OhsnapI'llloveDracoMalfoy4ever inspired this one. Give her some credit as well. Yes, this is a Cappy/Penelope fic. Honestly, I really hate this couple. But this is dedicated to the person with the really annoyingly long pen name that I don't feel like writing. Oh, and Penelope can talk in this fic. Well, what are you waiting for? READ THE FIC!

As Small Children Do by cappyandpashy4ever



"…7, 8, 9, 10! Ready or not! Here I come Cappy!"

Penelope took her paws off her eyes and looked around the room.

"Oh no! Cappy ran away from me!" cried Penelope, her eyes swimming with tears.

"It's okay, Penelope." Said Cappy, darting out from his hiding place and running to Penelope's side. "We were just playing hide-and-seek, remember?"

"Oh yeah!" said Penelope, smiling at Cappy. "I forgot."

Cappy rolled his eyes and allowed Penelope to count again. Penelope had only gotten to seven when she heard a small, high-pitched squeak of horror. She opened her eyes to see Cappy, dangling from one paw on the top of the dresser, which happened to be very tall for a small hamster like Cappy, and even taller for Penelope.

"Cappy!" Penelope exclaimed, attempting to run to Cappy, but stumbling over her blanket in the process. "What happened?" she mumbled from the ground.

" I was trying to hide on top of the dresser, and I kind of fell off. But there's no time for that now! Go get help!" he said to her. "And get it fast! I'm slipping!"

Penelope ran into the kitchen and returned second later with Pashmina, who was being dragged by her ankles.

"Yo, Pashy baby." Said Stan, who followed Pashmina out of the kitchen. "Where're ya going?"

"Sorry Stan." Said Pashmina, making an apologetic face. "Penelope needs me."

"I understand 'bout sisters." Said Stan, nodding.

"So Penelope, what is it this time?" asked Pashmina. "Did you get your dolly stuck in a tree again?"

"No!" cried Penelope, and she really was crying. "It's Cappy! We were playing hide and seek, and now he'd gonna fall off the dresser!"

Penelope pointed up at the small figure of Cappy, who was now a sobbing green and brown blur.

"Oh my god! Cappy!" yelled Pashmina, her instincts taking over. She dashed to the dresser, put her arms around Cappy's waist, and lowered him to the ground.

"Are you okay, Cappy?" asked Penelope, wiping her tears on her blanket and walking up to the now earthbound Cappy.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine Penetar." Said Cappy, staring at the back of Pashmina, who was walking paw-in-paw with Stan into the kitchen.

"Uh, my name's Penelope, remember? Pen-el-o-pe." She waved her paw in front of Cappy's face.

"Right, right." Said Cappy blankly. He pushed Penelope's paw out of his face and continued looking at Pashmina, his mouth agape, turning faintly red.

"Man, what has gotten into him?" Penelope thought, walking out of the room.

Indeed, reader, what had happened to Cappy? Well, that's a fairly simple question. Cappy had done as small children do when somebody rescues you from danger. He gained a crush.



Cappy skipped into the playroom, a red tinge playing around his ears.

"Pashy Pashy Pash will be miney miney mine!" sang Cappy as he dove over to the toy chest. He pulled out a rubber ducky, a choo-choo train, a couple of beheaded baby dolls, and various teddy bears before he found what he was looking for. His eyes shined in triumph, as he held up his treasure, a plastic ring, complete with phony diamond and gold colored paint that was beginning to chip away.

Cappy smiled happily as he walked down the hallway, looking for his beloved Pashmina. Finally, he found her in the kitchen. Just Cappy's luck, half the clubhouse was with her.

"Um, Pashmina?" Cappy asked, suddenly very nervous with all the ham-hams watching him.

"Yeah, Cappy?" she responded, getting up from her seat at the table with Stan. What is it?"

Pashmina looked directly into his eyes. He could feel everyone's stares. He saw the suspiciousness that appeared in both Dexter and Howdy's eyes. He saw Stan raise an eyebrow and begin tapping his foot. Waiting for Pashmina to return to his side.

"No…" thought Cappy. "She won't return to his side, she'll be mine! Do it Cappy! Now!"

And, despite the whole room watching him, despite the mounds of pressure on his chest, he was still able to slowly bend down on one of his little hamster knees, hold up the plastic ring, and mutter quite clearly, "Pashmina, will you marry me?"

There was complete and utter silence. Nobody spoke. Cappy averted his eyes from Pashmina. He didn't want to see the disgusted look on Dexter and Howdy's faces, and the angry stares from Stan, or the shocked look on anyone else's faces. Finally, Pashmina broke the silence.

"Sure Cappy, I'll marry you."

"WHAT?" cried Dexter, Howdy and Stan.

"But Cappy…" sighed Penelope, not even sure herself why she was feeling disappointed.

"Can we have the wedding now?" asked Cappy, now very excited.

"Yeah, sure Cappy. We can do it right now." Said Pashmina, smiling down at Cappy, who was rather shorter than her.

Cappy and Pashmina walked into the living room, Pashmina called after to the other ham-hams. "Come on you guys! You can come watch the, erm, wedding."

So the rest of the hams filtered into the living room, where Cappy and Pashmina stood, paw in paw. Maxwell took place as the minister, and stood on top of the couch as Cappy and Pashmina walked down the hallway, erm, isle, Cappy sweating nervously, Pashmina smiling and giggling.

They reached the end of the hall and came upon Maxwell, reading from his book.

"We join this lovely couple today, yadda yadda yadda, Cappy, do you take Pashmina as you ham-wife?"

"I doooooo!" Cappy cried, jumping up and down.

"And do you, Pashmina, take Cappy to be your ham-hubby?"

"Sure, why not? Pashmina responded.

"Well then, by the power vested in me," Maxwell said. "I hereby pronounce you, ham-couple! You may now kiss the bride.

Cappy attempted to kiss Pashmina, but as he was so short, he jumped and jumped, barely reaching her chin.

"Here, let me help you." Said Pashmina, kissing Cappy gently on the cheek.

Cappy turned flamingo pink, and felt unusually warm around the neck.

"Alright," Pashmina said, moving away from Cappy's side. "I can't play anymore Cappy, Stan and I have a date."

"You can't go on a date! You're married now!" exclaimed Cappy, trying to tug on Pashmina's paw. "Let's go pick out a house, sweetheart."

"Cappy, that was a pretend wedding, remember?" she insisted. A look of relief ran over Dexter, Howdy and Stan's faces.

"No!" cried Cappy. "No it wasn't!"

"Sorry Cappy, but I have a boyfriend. It was a fun game, but I have to go now."

Pashmina walked over to her room and shut the door. Cappy slumped over onto the floor. He was doing as all small children do when they get their hearts crushed, he was crying.

Stan stepped over to Cappy's side. "Little man," he said. "Look, I'm sorry that Pashy baby turned you down, but like, I'm her main man now and I-"

But Stan stopped in mid sentence as Cappy looked up. And beyond his tearstained eyes, a fire blazed. A fire great and strong and powerful, all directed towards one ham-ham. Stan.

"This is all your fault!" yelled Cappy, suddenly springing to his feet. "You stole her away from me, you big meanie!"

Cappy kicked Stan, hard.

"Yeeeouch!" cried Stan, rubbing the place where Cappy had hit. "Like, totally uncool little dude."

"Don't call me little dude!" he yelled, attempting to punch Stan this time. Stan was expecting it and moved away just in time. Stan grabbed his skateboard from the closet and with a "Later!" he skated out of the room.

"Don't you walk away from me!" Cappy yelled, but he knew it was too late. Suddenly, he had a great idea. He would ruin Stan and Pashmina's date, and it was all because of what small children do when they're angry, they get revenge.



Pashmina and Stan selected a table at the restaurant Patty O' Veggie. It was a nice little table, outside by the lake, and right hear some bushes and other plants. Pashmina had yet to site down when she yelled "EEEEEEKKKK!"

"What is it?" asked Stan, walking over to Pashmina, who was jumping up and down.

"MUUUUD!" she yelled, pointing to her chair, where there was a now severely flattened clod of mud.

Pashmina went to the bathroom to wash up. As soon as she was out of ear's distance, Stan said "Mud, Cappy? Is that the best you can do?"

There was a shuffling in the bushes, and out came Cappy, perfectly camouflaged by his green hat against the leaves.

"How did you know it was me?"

"Cappy," Stan said, putting a paw on Cappy's shoulder. "I've always targeted you as a hopeless prankster. That," he pointed to the mud pile. "Is pathetic. I'll show you some real pranks."

Stan reached into the pocket of his coat and pulled out what looked like a little green pea.

"It looks like a pea, doesn't it?" he asked Cappy who nodded. "Watch."

Stan flicked the pea into a plate that a waitress was carrying. Stan pulled out a small red remote control. As soon as the plate reached a table and it's unsuspecting eater stuck a fork in, Stan pushed a red button on the control. The pea exploded, leaving the eater covered from head to paw in the food.

"Now that's a real prank." Stan said.

"Wow! That was cool!" said Cappy.

"Well, now that I showed that to ya, like, let's say you don't try to ruin our date anymore, okay?"

"Fine." Said Cappy. On his way towards the door, Cappy brushed against Stan. Cappy reached into his pocket, took what was inside, and darted towards the door. Once he made it out of Stan's sight, he snuck back to his hiding place in the bushes.

By the time Cappy was safely in the bushes, Pashmina had returned. After a few moments of looking at their menus, a waiter came to their table and asked "Are we ready to order?"

"I'll have the peas and carrots." Said Pashmina, folding her menu.

"And I'd like the celery and cucumber sandwich." Stan also folded his menu.

After around ten minutes of watching, Cappy saw the food being carried to Stan and Pashmina's table. Cappy reached into the bag that he had retrieved from Stan's pocket and pulled out a small green object. Cappy threw it, and it landed right on Pashmina's plate where it blended perfectly with her peas and carrots.

Once Pashmina was about to eat her plate of veggies, Cappy pulled out the other item he had pillaged from Stan. The remote control. He pushed the red button, and Pashmina let out a scream of surprise as the carrots and peas exploded at her. She was covered in vegetables.

"Sorry," said a hamster with a tag that said Manger on his vest. "But due to several explosions, Patty O' Veggie is now closed."

Stan and Pashmina left the restaurant, unknowingly followed by Cappy.

Once outside, Stan exploded with rage.

"Why the nerve of that little git!" he raged, stomping up and down the sidewalk.

"Stan, what on Earth are you talking about?" Pashmina asked, picking a carrot from out of her fur.

"It's him!" said Stan, pointing behind Pashmina. She looked back to see Cappy, standing behind her.

"Cappy, what are you doing here?" Pashmina asked.

"I'll tell you what he's doing here!" Stan yelled. "He's been trying to sabotage our date!"

"Cappy, you're the one who exploded my dinner?"

"Well, yeah." He said. "But I only did it because Stan taught me how to use these cool exploding peas!"

Pashmina turned to Stan now. "So, you gave him the materials to do this?"

"No!" Stan cried. "He stole the from me!"

Pashmina looked from Cappy's innocent and childish face, to the face of her boyfriend, raising his eyebrows. In the end, Pashmina trusted Stan the most. She walked over to his side and glared at Cappy.

"Cappy, why don't you tell me what's truly going on?"

"Well, you see, I…" but Cappy was spared having to say anything, because at that moment, he noticed something by the sidewalk. Stan's skateboard!

"You'll never catch me alive!" said Cappy, crawling through Stan's legs and reaching the skateboard. He hopped onto it and started sailing down the street.

"Oh no you don't! yelled Stan, chasing after him. Pashmina followed with a "Don't leave me here!"

It was truly a strange sight. A small hamster with a hat was riding on a skateboard that he didn't even know how to control, followed by a tiger striped hamster with flames in his eyes and who was being followed by a hamster in a pink scarf, yelling for the striped one to wait up.

"Gotcha!" yelled Stan, managing to reach where Cappy was riding. Stan leapt onto the skateboard with Cappy and tried a wrestle him off it.

The Pashmina cam along with a "Wait for me!" and she too jumped onto the skateboard.

Stan tried to push Cappy off, but Cappy climbed onto his shoulders. Pashmina's scarf came off and wrapped around Stan's face. Soon, the clubhouse was in view, but there was no chance of stopping! The skateboard crashed into the clubhouse, flinging them all into the wall.

"Whooo!" cried Cappy. "Let's go again!"

"There's no time." Said Pashmina, snatching her scarf off of Stan's eyes. "Now Cappy, tell me what's going on!"

"Okay…" said Cappy, shrinking down. "Well, I was trying to sabotage the date, so I stole Stan's pea bombs." Cappy looked down at his paws.

"Oh, Cappy." Said Pashmina. "I'm sorry you don't like it when Stan and I go out, but he is my boyfriend."

"But I'm your husband!" said Cappy, shaking his paws.

"Cappy that was a play wedding, I already told you." Pashmina argued.

"No it wasn't! Ask Maxwell! He was the minister guy!"

"Sorry Cappy," said Maxwell, who had been eavesdropping. "It's not an official wedding unless you have a license to prove it."

"Okay, so it wasn't a real wedding!" screamed Cappy. "But we can still have a real wedding! We can go get a license!"

"Sorry Cappy," said Pashmina. "I'm not going."

"But we can make it real!" said Cappy, pulling on Pashmina's paw.

Pashmina held her ground.

"C'mon Pashy!" said Cappy! "Come on, come on, come-"

"Cappy!" said Pashmina. "Don't you get it? I don't love you! I never have loved you! And I never will love you! Just get that through your head! I! Don't! Love! You!

Cappy's eyes swan with tears, and he ran.



Penelope found Cappy in his room. He was not crying, but lying face down on his bed.

"Cappy?" she spoke, taking a seat near the edge of the bed.

"Oh, hello Penelope." He said, sitting up.

"Cappy, I heard what happened,"

"Oh you did, did you?" Cappy said bitterly.

"Yeah" said Penelope. "And I wanted to say I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Penelope." Said Cappy, smiling weakly. "Pashmina and I just weren't meant to be, I guess."

"Cappy, when you and her got married, I was scared."

"Why, Penelope?" asked Cappy with wonder.

"Well," she began, "I didn't want to lose you. You're my best friend, and I was afraid that if you got married, you wouldn't have time for me."

"Penelope," said Cappy.

"Yeah?" she said. Cappy inched forward on the bed and gave Penelope a big hug. Penelope turned red. Cappy looked her straight in the eye. "Penelope, you will always be my best friend, and no matter what happens."

"I'm glad, Cappy."

"But still, I wonder," said Cappy, gazing out the window. "If not Pashmina, will I ever find somebody who's right for me?"

"Oh, I think so." Said Penelope, smiling. She leapt off the bed, and left the room.

"Well, no matter if I ever find somebody I belong with." Said Cappy to himself. "But at least I have a friend like Penelope.

And so, Cappy did as small children do, and fell asleep, dreaming of Pashmina and Stan holding paws, Penelope giggling and playing, and, quite possibly, exploding peas.




Well, didja like it? Hate it? Make you laugh? Tell me! But seriously, no flamers. A special thanks to the person who gave me this idea, OhsnapI'llloveDracoMalfoy4ever! She came up with the idea, so give her credit too! Arigato and I hope you enjoyed this fic! REVIEW PLEASE!