A/N: Don't get your hopes up, I didn't write this anytime recently. I've noticed the severe lack of SalehEwan everything, and they just so happen to be my favorite FE8 pairing, so I felt I had to try and fix this injustice. Hence this little cracky fic. I've posted this on my deviantArt account (along with other little SalehEwan things..) and the people there seemed to like it, so I figure I may as well post it here too. And to those of you who are going to spam me with flames and tell me I'm sick twisted person because ship these two, know this: I am a sick and twisted person. You don't need to tell me. And to everyone else, enjoy the randomness and possible OOCness of this fic! Or try to.

Disclaimer: This fic has been disclaimed.

Unexpected Lesson

Saleh looked up from his book as his student flung open the tent flap and threw himself down on his bedroll. He watched Ewan's features twist and turn in what could only be a mental debate with himself. He flopped around on the makeshift bed, laying on his stomach one moment, his back the next, all the while grumbling to himself. The sage waited patiently, knowing it was only a matter of time before Ewan gave up thinking on whatever problem was ailing him, and confronted him.

"Teacher?" came the young mage's voice. Saleh closed the tome he had been previously reading, giving his student his full attention.

"What is it, Ewan?"

"It's just that..." Ewan sat up and crossed his arms, staring down at the dirt floor. "I saw my sister earlier and she was..." -- a blush spread across his face -- "kissing Marisa."

Saleh quirked a brow. He had always thought Tethys was interested in Gerik. Marisa too, for that matter. Though, there was the small factor of Gerik constantly being around Joshua, and they seemed a little too "friendly" at times. So apparently, he had been wrong. Ewan continued on.

"And I always thought that girls were supposed to kiss guys. But if Tethys kisses another girl and it's okay, then does that mean it's okay for guys to kiss other guys?" Ewan looked up at his teacher, innocent curiosity sparking in his ruby eyes.

Saleh sighed to himself. This was more than he wanted to get into.

"It... depends," Saleh said, trying for the life of him to come up with a decent response. Ewan cocked his head to the side in confusion. "Some people do not think it is... right for those of the same gender to kiss each other, unless it is family. And then there are those that do so anyways, despite what others think."

Ewan blinked. "So... What does that mean?"

"It means that it is not right or wrong. It is a matter of opinion, and what you think," Saleh explained.

"Oh!" Ewan's face lit up in understanding. "I see now! I don't think there's a problem with it, especially since Tethys doesn't, and she's my sister and all. What about you, teacher?"

"... Me?"

Ewan nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah! Do you think it's okay?"

"... I suppose so," Saleh answered. He hadn't really thought about it before, but then again, he'd never really seen a problem with it before either.

"Have you ever kissed a guy before?" Ewan asked, innocently. Saleh nearly choked.


Ewan giggled. "I'll take that as a no. I haven't kissed anybody before -- well, not including my sister -- but I've always sort of wondered what it's like."

Saleh cleared his throat, regaining his momentarily lost composure. "It is not anything special."

"Really? I kind of doubt that. Would you show me?"

Saleh stared at his student. "What? ... Show you?"

"Yeah! Why not? You said you didn't mind guys kissing other guys, didn't you?" Ewan smiled. The sage knew his pupil simply would not let him out of this unless he came up with an extremely good excuse. And unfortunately, his mind wasn't functioning well enough to come up with such an excuse.

"... All right," Saleh said with a sigh. "Come here."

Ewan grinned and crawled over next to him, staring up expectantly. Saleh shifted his seating, both to face the younger boy and from discomfort. He never thought this was a situation he'd have to go through. He placed his hand under the boy's chin in order to tilt his face up towards him, and Ewan's eyes snapped shut automatically on contact. Saleh hesitated, then leaned down slowly and softly touched his lips to Ewan's. He pulled away not but a second later, and Ewan opened his eyes.

He frowned.

"Geez, teach. If that's the way you kiss, no wonder you don't think it's anything special," Ewan stated. Saleh raised a brow, still trying to convince himself that his student just said that to him.

"What do you mean?" the sage asked.

"I mean, you have to do it like this!"

Before Saleh could respond, Ewan threw his arms around his teacher's shoulders and pulled him down towards him, their lips crashing together. Saleh was too stunned to react, and it took him a while before it registered in his brain that Ewan -- his cute little innocent student -- was kissing him, and none too prudently. He could feel his mouth moving against his lips and pressing hard. There was even a quick sweep of his tongue through his mouth. Ewan, to say the least, did not seem inexperienced.

After what seemed like an eternity, the young mage pulled away, this time grinning.

"You see, teacher? Wasn't that much better? That's how sis kissed Marisa," Ewan said, happily.

Saleh didn't respond. He just stared, dumbfounded.

"Well, that's all I wanted for now. Thanks, teacher! I'll see you later, okay?" Ewan chirped, and made his way out of the tent.

Saleh stared at the tent flap, even long after it had closed. He'd never look at his pupil the same way, ever again.