Explanations are at the bottom of the chapter, because I don't want to keep you guys waiting. Thank you and enjoy!

Dedicated partially to Sozomi, who said she wanted this. So hope you're happy, sweetie.

Thanks so much to my reviewers, you all are so amazing!

Word Count: 2916

Nine Months and a Year

Chapter Eight: Yo ho ho and a bottle of aspirin…

Edward Elric had never appreciated what his mother had done when he was younger, never understanding how hard it was to take care of two babies at the same time. But now he was sending prayers up to the Heaven he hoped existed in the hopes that his mother sent some of her skill and infinite patience his way to help him make it through this.

After nearly two weeks of being awakened hour after hour by one screaming ankle biter or another, Edward was almost at the end of his rope.

People could say what they wanted about babies being God's gift, adorable and all that….Edward agreed with them when his own weren't screeching for their nappies to be changed or for food.

On his first day back in Central he and Schiezka went shopping at the local supermarket for baby supplies, Ed still having quite an amount of money behind him. They took the children with them, Schiezka having come to Edward's dorm earlier than was normal to take River in her own little stroller. Edward didn't think the 'double-stroller' had been made but he hoped they did soon. They were currently borrowing Hughes strollers from Elysia.

Edward had to take a moment to praise the Hughes family at least once a day as they were helping him so much with his current dilemma it was almost ridiculous.

Edward smiled tiredly at Schiezka as he passed River to her, who was cooing and trying to grab the bookworm's glasses.

The brunette smiled down at River, letting her glasses be taken even though River's face now resembled a bowl of mashed potatoes. "Oh she's adorable Edward! I can't believe your girlfriend didn't want them, that's absolutely cruel!" Today Schiezka had opted for a cute peasant shirt with an Empire waistline, flaring out slightly like a maternity top done in browns, creams and gold with a pair of brown slacks to go with it. Her hair was in its' usual bob but she still looked cuter than she had before Edward had left for Amateresu. Normally she stayed with her turtlenecks and stretchy pants but today apparently she wanted to be cute. Edward himself was dressed in a brown t-shirt and black pants with a black jacket on over the t-shirt. His hair, still colored red as he'd been unable to get hold of the needed hair dye to get his hair back to normal, was in a high ponytail on top of his head instead of its' usual braid.

Edward nodded, agreeing with her silently that he would think the same thing if the story he'd told everyone was real. He knew sleepless nights were ahead but he hoped he could get through them easily enough and with little mental scarring and psychiatric help. He hefted Nathaniel out of his crib, smiling at the little black-haired baby boy. "This one took after his mother, if you can believe it. River takes after me in the appearance department. Not much to tell about their personalities yet." He smiled at his son, watching him squirm and fuss quietly before falling silent in his 'mother's' arms.

"So are you ready to go?" asked Schiezka, smiling at River's flaxen head and bright eyes.

Edward nodded before settling Nathaniel into his stroller and buckling him in. "There we go." He cooed at his son, tickling his tummy gently before gesturing for Schiezka to do the same with River. "There should be another stroller over by the bassinettes."

Schiezka nodded, taking the little girl over to her stroller which was colored white with pink trim while Nathaniel's was white as well but with yellow trim. "I take it you borrowed these from the Hughes'?"

Edward smiled, nodding. "Yes. Gracia stopped by last night to lend them to me. She said she and Hughes aren't having anymore children, Elysia is enough apparently, so she said I can keep them." He shook his head. "God you've gotta love that woman."

He pushed Nathaniel out of the room, waiting for Schiezka to clear the door with River's stroller before he shut and locked his dorm door.

It seemed that everyone wanted to see the children on their way out of Headquarters and Edward normally would have been annoyed but his children seemed to enjoy the attention.

It took nearly an hour for Schiezka and Edward to clear Headquarters before they began the walk to the Shopping District of Central where they finally found the baby supply store.

But on the way the two made sure to discuss everything they could. Edward knew he really liked Schiezka. She was a great girl. A bit spastic of course, but the way she did it and got so excited about everything was just too cute for even Edward to ignore.

Edward smiled at her as they pushed the strollers down the aisles and Edward pulled down what they needed. Diapers, formula, bottles…everything he needed for his children.

Schiezka grinned. "Well I think we have the grocery department well under way. Now let's go get them some clothes."

He nodded, following his brunette friend to the clothing section of the store and the two took only a few minutes to find clothing suiting Edward's need for conventionality and Schiezka's insistence on them being cute. He refused to dress River up like Hughes had done to Elysia, so she would more than likely wear the same clothes as her brother did.

He would up with six sets of clothes for each child before the two headed to the front of the store to pay for his purchases. Edward also had the newest realization that babies were not cheap, especially twins.

Finally Edward and Schiezka made their way towards a nearby café to sit at and eat lunch before heading back to the dorms for Edward to put away his things and take care of the children.

"So how are you enjoying fatherhood, Edward?" Asked Schiezka, curious as she sipped at her glass of soda.

Edward had gotten a cup of coffee sweetened with cream and a lot of sugar, but he was careful about the heat of the liquid so as to not burn his tongue. "It's tiring, I'll tell you that. And I don't really enjoy being awakened almost every other hour by crying. And the dirty nappies aren't fun either…I can't say it's much fun, but…" he looked over at his children in their strollers beside them, playing with their hands and feet. "But I could never say I regret it. They are so beautiful that I sometimes doubt they're mine. So sweet and innocent…I'll try and keep them that way for as long as I can."

Schiezka's eyes narrowed. "So are you going to let them join the military like you?"

Edward shook his head. "No. Both of their parent's lives have been ruled over and ruined by the military and I don't want that for them." Edward turned to look out the window of their booth, eyes soft like butter as he began to think of the children's father, Roy.

A soft smile came to his face at the thought of his superior officer and lover. He was happy that Roy had wanted to stay with him and help him raise the children as best he could without raising suspicion.

If anyone ever found out Ed was able to carry children…well neither of them wanted to think of the consequences.

"Hey Ed, how did you and your girlfriend meet? You haven't told us much about her." Schiezka asked, curious again. The woman had a never-ending thirst for knowledge.

Edward blinked for a moment as his mind scurried to come up with a believable lie. "We met a while ago, actually. Um, Al and I had gotten onto a train that stopped in Amateresu due to engine trouble and she let us stay with her for a while. A few months ago on one of my missions I stopped to visit her as we were close to Amateresu and well…we started dating and then Nathaniel and River came to be." He smiled softly, watching them as he ran a hand over River's head, watching her blink up at him and try to play with his hand.

"Oh…I'm sorry, Ed. She's really a stupid girl if she can't realize how great of a guy you are!" Schiezka said passionately, putting down her cup. "I mean, I know a lot of girls around here, even at HQ, who would love to date you if given the chance!"

Edward blinked at Schiezka for a moment before he shook his head. "No thank you, Schiezka. I don't think I'll be dating for a while. My main priority is going to be the kids. I've even been given leave by the Colonel to take a break until the children are at least a few months old. I'll just be stuck on paperwork for those few months." He groaned, burying his face on the table for a moment. "God paperwork…."

During the conversation Nathaniel decided he wanted attention and started to fuss and whine until Edward took him into his arms, cuddling him and rocking him in his arms.

Schiezka laughed. "Wow he's a little attention hog."

Edward nodded. "Yep, he sure is. Just like his mom." He laughed, wondering what Roy would think of being talked about like that.

After a light lunch the two headed back to the dorms and Edward quickly put the children into their cribs so they could take their naps, knowing that was why Nathaniel had been fussy in the restaurant. He smiled at Schiezka as he put away his purchases, trying to keep his dorm as clean as he could. Normally he didn't care but he learned quickly that a dirty floor meant things the babies could pick up when they learned how to crawl. Things they could pick up and chew on, maybe choke on…No way was he letting that happen.

Schiezka nodded and bade her goodbyes before she left, leaving Edward alone in his dorm with his napping children. As soon as he was certain they were asleep he flopped onto his bed, kicking off his shoes and laid back, fully intent on sleeping until the children woke him up…

Or so was his plan until someone knocked on the door. He growled softly, burying his head into his pillow, now intent on ignoring whoever was at his door.

But the knocking continued insistently before Edward finally stood up and stumbled over to the door, glaring with his golden eyes at the person on the other side before his eyes widened. "R-Roy…"

Roy Mustang smirked at him from the other side of the threshold, apparently having just gotten finished with his work. Edward had learned that the man wore clothes under his uniform in case he needed to go on an emergency date after his shift. This was proof of that theory as the man's shift had ended just fifteen minutes ago. Edward hadn't even noticed that it was after six o'clock already. The man was sporting a red button-up shirt left unbuttoned over his black slacks. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to Edward's forehead, running a hand through his ponytail before pulling the elastic out of Edward's upswept hair.

Edward blinked. "Roy, what're you—mmph!" He let out a low mumble into the kiss suddenly pressed against his mouth before he melted into the man's mouth, wrapping his arms around his superior's neck even though he needed to be on tiptoe to do so and alleviate some of the pressure leaning down gave to Roy.

Roy pushed him further into the room, shutting the door behind him with his foot and locking the door. There seemed to be some kind of light in Roy's eyes as he followed Edward into the room, pulling him into his arms and kissing him nice and deep until Ed felt his brain going hazy and spinning with the lack of oxygen. He pulled back slightly, panting heavily. "W-What was that for?" He asked, feeling all of the sexual frustration he'd felt during pregnancy, all the nights he'd had to spend with his only friend being Mrs. Palm and her five daughters, all of it becoming one unbearable ball in his gut.

Roy didn't say anything, just shoved his young lover onto the bed just behind Edward and climbed on top of him, kissing the younger man past the point of all coherent thought. Ed purred into the kiss, feeling his heart pound uncontrollably. He'd only done this once before and he'd been drunk during the entire experience.

Roy reached down and began pulling Ed's t-shirt over his head to throw it down onto the floor. You would never be able to tell he'd been pregnant, because his stomach looked just as flat and taut as ever, still muscled but the only difference was there was less definition. It looked just a bit softer than before.

The older man began pressing soft and loving kisses to Edward's throat, making the young alchemist tilt his head back with a soft groan, giving Roy more flesh to work with. Roy's large hands caressed his hips, fingering his hip bones and toying with the edge of his pants.

Urgency seemed to make Roy lose all of his sweet nothings that he used to bed the random flower girl and shop helpers he always bedded and there was nothing left but Roy and his considerable skill…Edward was not complaining.

"Roy…" Ed whispered, letting his fingers, flesh and metal alike, twine into the black strands of his lover's hair. "You'd better not get me pregnant again…."

Wow…moment broken?

Roy gave a laugh, the sound like velvet on Ed's bared torso as he shuddered. "Don't worry, Ed." He reached into the back pocket of his black slacks and pulled out a small, foil-wrapped square. "We're all set to not get you to go through that again."

Ed smiled. "Thank god, that was a nightmare. Give me Homunculi, Apocalypse, Hell, give me Winry on PMS…just don't put me through childbirth…"

The ebony-haired male gave another deep-throated laugh, husky with lust as he kissed his lover again; smiling softly down at the caramel-fleshed teen he loved. "I love you, Ed…"

Edward felt his eyes begin to tear up and he knew tears were welling in them at those four soft words… "I love you too, Colonel Bastard."

Roy buried his face in Edwards' neck, shaking his head. "….did you have to use that nickname? I'm being romantic here."

"Roy." Ed grabbed Roy's face between his hands, bringing him to stare Ed straight into the face. "I don't want romantic right now. Someday soon you can take me out on a date and use all your tricks and trappings to get me to love you even more than I do right now, make me think you are the most amazing man I've ever met and could never live without. But right now, I just want you. And I want you to fuck me hard enough to make me feel it for the eight months I missed out on you…"

Roy smirked. "Yes, Major Elric." He kissed him again, holding him tight against his chest making them touch chest to chest.

Ed smiled into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Roy's neck to keep him in that wonderful, breath-taking kiss that was doing just that.

Roy reached down and began unbuttoning his slacks, undoing the zipper and pulling the slacks down just enough for him to see the black silk of Edward's boxers and the sizeable lump currently tenting his lover's underwear.

Just as Roy was reaching his hand inside his lover's tented boxers, a whimper filled Edward's ears.

No…oh dear god, no. Please Nathaniel, go back to sleep…Almost as if Nathaniel could hear the pleas his whimpering turned to full-fledged crying as he began to beg for attention.

Ed lay his head back with a sigh. "God…Roy, let me up. I have to take care of Nathaniel."

Roy groaned, sitting back on his knees. "You're kidding, right?"

Edward shook his head, standing up and zipping and buttoning up his trousers before he picked up Nathaniel, cradling him close. "Shhh, shhh. It's alright, Nathaniel."

It took nearly half an hour for the newborn to consider going back to sleep and by that time the mood had been completely broken.

Roy stood at the foot of his children's bassinettes as he watched them sleep with a small smile on his face. "Well…I guess we'll just have to try again later…they might wake up again."

Ed nodded. "Yeah. Sorry…"

Roy shook his head. "Nah, it's alright. It's getting late so I'd best be getting home. Wouldn't do for us to both be dead tomorrow at work."

Roy kissed Ed once more before heading to the door, turning his head to stare at Ed from over his shoulder from his place at the open door. He gave Ed a smile. "Thank you, Ed."

Ed blinked. "Thanks for what? Roy, what're you talking about? C'mon, answer me Colonel Bastard!"

Roy just smirked and walked out the door, shutting it behind him.

Ed growled, hands on his hips as he turned to Nathaniel and River, sleeping peacefully in their cribs. "You're dad's a bastard, kids. I hope you know that…."

With that Edward Elric climbed into bed and fell asleep, knowing he had one hell of a rough road ahead.

Well everyone, that's the end of Chapter Eight. Hope you all enjoyed it and this makes up for my absence. The next chapter should come out pretty soon as most of the drama in my life has finally dissipated.

Long story short: I got married, had a baby, am getting divorced from aforementioned husband and he is getting custody of my baby. So yes, I'm upset, and I'm taking it out on this fanfic and praying I can fill it full of the happiness I am not feeling right now. But still, for those of you who want angst, it is to come in the near future. But only when the kids get older. Not right now. A new villain will reveal itself and this story is nowhere near over.

But there needs to be a special shout-out to the reviewer who made me kick myself into writing. I rarely check my e-mail anymore from sheer drama and there were tons of reviews waiting for me, but the one I read stuck with me so much….Hisoka, you are amazing! :hugs: Thank you so much. Reading your review made me want to write again. Thank you so much! This chapter is dedicated to you and I hope you continue to read with me. And yes, I am like Maes. My daughter is named Fallin Katie Scarlett. I am very glad you are getting into it, that's the whole reason I do this…

I hope you all have a great time between the updates, but it really shouldn't take that long as I wrote this chapter in a few hours. So please tell me if it sucks.