Warnings: Well, there are no spoilers that I know of and nothing really, uhh, physical happens between them…

Pairing: Ibiki/Naru (I know, I know, it's pretty fucked up…)

Summery: He passed the exam without answering a single question, he helped Idate to learn the truth, there was something strangely curious about Uzumaki Naruto…

Genre: WAFF

Rating: PG

A/N: Hey! Just a thank you to everyone who's read and reviewed this pile of one-shots. I'm sorry if for some of them my portrials of the characters were completely off, or if sometimes my storylines were boring, redundant or just plain unoriginal. But I sincerely hope you liked it overall. (And really, I think that this right here is the most fucked up pairing in Naruto fandom! Ibiki with anyone other than Anko or an Original Character is automatically strange! Sometimes it's hard to make wired pairings work!)



He had thought nothing of it when he'd seen Izumo and Kotetsu dragging a blonde inside of their 'HQ', but when he's caught sight of that horrible shade of orange that only one person could possibly ever wear he felt curiosity blooming within him. He swiftly stood up, following after the two Chuunins and one kicking and screaming Genin. If Ibiki had a tendency to show his emotions he would have frowned as Izumo and Kotetsu put the boy in a room he himself had been in many times.

To interrogate criminals.

He stepped out from around the corner, right in front of the inseparable duo, they both jumped a bit before straightening their posture and bowing formally.

"Why is Uzumaki being held in Cell Twenty Seven?" He asked dryly, Izumo decided to answer. "Well sir, it seems that Uzumaki and an Anbu got into a fight, which promptly ended when, according to the villagers, his eyes turned red and a demonic energy enveloped him. A medic-nin was nearby and healed the Anbu, but the villagers, well, they want him gone." He flinched a bit as he finished, Kotetsu took over. "We got the kid out of there as soon as we could, and this is one of the most secure places in all of Konaha, and maybe if the villagers believed he is punished for his crimes they'll leave him alone." Ibiki dismissed them with a nod, but before they were to far away, he had one more question to ask. "What started the fight?" "We're not quite sure, but we think the Anbu said something offensive about Uzumaki's parents. The whole way here he was going on about how his mother was not a whore."

Ibiki frowned, making his way toward Cell 27, from what he knew of the kid, he wasn't one to get in a fight where all spectators were against him, but then again Ibiki didn't know the kid too well. He knew he was the host for the Kyuubi, he knew that Uzumaki passed the first part of the Chuunin exam without writing down a single answer, and he knew that somehow the kid made Idate understand why he had failed the Chuunin exam. He knew three things about the boy, and Ibiki admitted to himself that he was a bit curious to know more. He opened the door silently, took one look at the boy huddled in the farthest side of the round room and asked. "Do you know why you're here Uzumaki Naruto?" Blue eyes looked at him in surprise.

"You" he exclaimed quietly, his eyes locking on Ibiki. "You're the torture specialist, right?" Ibiki nodded and Naruto sighed. "Then I guess I'm here to be tortured by you." Ibiki almost cringed visibly; did people really believe that he would hurt a child who had been using self defense against someone stronger than himself?

Ibiki glanced at the shivering child. 'Izumo and Kotetsu, those idiots! Did they not tell the kid that they were trying to help him!' Ibiki allowed a sigh to pass his lips as he walked forward, crouching down to Naruto's level when he was a foot away from the boy. "Look Uzumaki, I'm not going to torture you, I'm here so that those damned villagers think you're being taught a lesson." Uncertain eyes locked with his. "So...we're just gonna' sit here for days on end?" The blond relaxed a bit. "Actually, I was hoping you'd answer some questions." He tensed up a bit. "But only if you're comfortable answering them." Ibiki really did try and put some compassion in his voice, but apparently it didn't work since the boy tensed up even more. 'I don't seem to be very good with this nice stuff.' He almost went along with the urge to sigh but instead knelt down formally in front of the boy.

"If it makes you feel any more comfortable, with every five question you'll answer, I'll answer one." "What? How is that fair!" Ibiki allowed himself to smirk. "It doesn't matter, it just is." Naruto glared daggers at him.

'So, I guess the questions thing won't work out…' "I suppose sitting in silence is good enough." Naruto cocked an eyebrow at him. "Why are you here anyway, don't you have some stuff to do?" "Not at the moment."

Naruto, apparently deciding that Ibiki wasn't his type of conversationalist, didn't retort and sat there, alone with Ibiki, in silence, very boring silence. And being that he was so bored and had absolutely nothing else to do, he quickly fell asleep slumped against the wall.

Ibiki, who had been strategically not-looking-at-the-boy-while-listening-closely-to-his-breathing was alerted of Naruto's nap when his breathing evened out.

'I suppose that's good enough for today.' He quickly rose from the floor and left the cell, barely giving the sleeping boy a glance.

'Until tomorrow then, Uzumaki.'

Morning seemed to come far too quickly and the sun seemed far too bright the next day when Ibiki made his way towards Cell 27, a small carton of milk and an apple in hand, freshly purchased from a small convenience store.

It made Ibiki wonder if the kid actually drank milk, the boy's stature seemed to short for him to partake in the consumption of calcium. And as for the apple, Ibiki had often heard that the boy wouldn't even touch any food other then ramen.

Well tough luck for him then, because the only thing Ibiki was patient with was with the interrogation and torture of criminals, three minutes of his time was not going to be wasted by preparing ramen.

When he entered Naruto's holding cell he could hold back the small frown that was growing on his lips. 'Has he been sleeping since yesterday afternoon?' In his own completely unbiased opinion, you only needed five hours of sleep to get by, anything more was unnecessary lethargy.

"Oi, wake up." A blue eye hardly opened before closing once more. "Mmm… No." The blonde rolled over onto his side, curling in upon himself.

Funny, Ibiki saw many people in that position, usually because they were trying to minimize damage done to their body. 'The fetal position, wasn't it? Used to minimize injuries to the neck and chest, or used by people who have gone through extreme physical or psychological trauma, arms are wrapped around the head to prevent further trauma.' Ibiki frowned again. 'Does this mean he still doesn't not trust me?' He allowed doubt to linger in his mind for a moment, until Naruto shivered.

'Ah, this position is also commonly slept in, especially when the body becomes cold. Perhaps I should leave him a blanket tonight.'

"Get up, if all you're going to do is sleep then your entire schedule will be thrown off when you're allowed out of here." There was that one blue eye hardly opening again. "And I care, why exactly?" Ibiki almost allowed his eyebrow to twitch. "You care because it's in your best interest. Here." He tossed Naruto the apple, who, in his sleepy state couldn't move his arm fast enough to catch it and it ended up hitting the side of his head instead.

"… Owwww." He slowly propped himself up and grabbed the apple, looking at it with distaste clear in his eyes. "I don't like apples." He eyed the carton in Ibiki's hand. "And I've had a couple bad experiences with milk." Ibiki flung the carton at him anyways, but this time Naruto was able to catch the object hurtling at his head.

"Eat the apple, drink the milk. It's better for you then ramen and I'm not bothering to make you any while you stay here."

The look on Naruto's face was absolutely priceless.

He looked like he was about to cry, throw a temper tantrum, glare daggers and stare at Ibiki in complete mortification all at once.

He showed more emotion in five second then Ibiki could in five hours.

'This is going to be an entertaining week.' Ibiki thought, inwardly chuckling as Naruto nibbled at the apple with a grimace, of course, outwardly he was stone cold, just like usual.

The first couple of days passed quickly, Ibiki finding out many interesting things during the course of each day and filing them away so that each night the pieces of the puzzle called Naruto began to fit together.

He usually learned simple things, like how the boy was an extreme procrastinator, or that he had unpredictable adrenalin rushes where he'd being punch the walls just to burn off the access energy, that he had once accidentally shared a pressing of lips with the Uchiha heir, he considered it to not be his true first kiss since his first kiss was much to important to be given to the Uchiha and that the boy had a strange fascination with scars.

He supposed it was due to Naruto's own whisker scars that the boy seemed to take interest in the scars of others.

He had confronted the boy about the topic once and Naruto had replied that he thought scars said a lot about people.

Naruto's opinion of his own scars were that they served as a warning, although he looked generally harmless, much like a 'cute and fluffy' quote unquote, fox, he did indeed have a row of razor sharp fangs that shouldn't be messed with.

Naruto's opinion on Kakashi's scar was that it showed determination to become stronger, having his eye taken out and then having another put in by someone who wasn't a fully fledged medic nin also indicated insanity.

His opinion of Iruka's scar was that it's placement in what a doctor would call the Danger Triangle of the face, (Which extends from the corners of the mouth to the bride of the nose.) indicated that Iruka was soft, since apparently it was easy for infections to spread from the Danger Triangle to the brain due to the special nature of the blood supply to the human nose.

He had asked Naruto about his scars, just to see the kid's reaction really, and he hadn't really expected the in depth answer that he got.

"Well, most of your scars were obtained during the time you were tortured by Aoi, right? The reason you were caught was to save Idate, and even though you were put through days of pain, you did not yield and translate the scroll for the Rain nins. I believe this indicates that you have strong moral values, you put loyalty and family above all else while you have the metal capacity to remember to put them above all else even while you are being put through physically harmful situations." When he had stopped Ibiki couldn't help but blink in surprise, then Naruto grinned.

"It also indicates that, like Kakashi-sensei, you're a bit off in the sanity department."

After that piece of insight Ibiki actually allowed himself to smile, surprising both himself and Naruto, who simply had to comment.

"This is the second time I've seen you smile, you look a lot less threatening this way." Ibiki rose an eyebrow. "When was the first time?" "When me, Sasuke and Sakura-chan were leaving after helping the Wasabi clan and Idate in that race. You smiled when the boat was leaving."

Naruto seemed fairly embarrassed to state the remembrance of the occasion, but Ibiki, like most times, decided not to comment.

As one may guess, spending an entire week with only one person to talk to was really irritating, especially to someone like Naruto, who enjoyed speaking to, annoying and in some way or another (ie, pranking) communicating with many people at one time.

He was slowly being driven crazy, he was sure of it, there was no possible way that he could take much more of interacting with only one person, especially when said person hardly made any facial expression and didn't talk back much and otherwise made you feel like you were talking to a wall.

Of course, there were a couple times when Ibiki seemed to be interested in the conversation and actually gave some input. It was those conversations that allowed Naruto to keep his sanity, or at least, that's what he felt about it.

'I suppose it could be worse.' He thought as he snuggled into the thick blanket Ibiki had given to him, how many days ago? Four, five, maybe six? 'Not that it matters, the village is probably still in a a huge uproar about this and I'll probably never get out.

The very idea of staying in a cell, never going outside again… It was horrible!

'But at least Ibiki goes through the trouble of coming here everyday and trying to make it easier on me. No one else has bothered to visit. Or maybe it's just that Ibiki is the only one allowed in these cells…' Naruto laid his head on his stiff arms and mentally put ask Ibiki for a pillow, on his list of things to do tomorrow.

'Damn it, I hate having to wait. When, when will I be free!' Naruto vaguely wondered if he should do some overdramatic gesture with his thought, but decided against it. 'What's the point of doing anything when no one's around to see you do it? Gah, I hate being locked up.'

He slowly turned onto his back, staring abysmally at the gloomy ceiling above him. 'I swear to God, much more of being cooped up here and I really will go insane.'

Luckily he did not have much longer to wait. The following morning Ibiki came in horrendously early, as usual, and in his usual monotone voice announced.

"You can leave now."

The sheer and utter joy Naruto felt at hearing those four words could easily outweigh the delight Jiraiya would have if he gained the powers of invisibility.

Which is why he found himself thanking the messenger 'boy', not with words, but with a small peck on the cheek, before practically dancing out of the room. 'Freedom! Freedom! Tra-la-la!'

Ibiki held one hand to his cheek and wondered if his face had turned a slight shade of pink.

Naruto seemed to take the whole kissing business very seriously after all, so even a kiss on the cheek must mean a lot. Ibiki quickly gained composure and strode out of the room.

Maybe he should escort Naruto home, for safety reasons of course, the boy didn't seem to be in his right state of mind and a lot of people were probably still angry with him.

And of course Ibiki was a good candidate to be the escort, since he could make ANBU stop in their tracks with a mere glare.

Yes, accompanying the boy home would be a good idea.

For safety reasons, really.