This is SasuNaru yaoi. If you don't like yaoi, why are you here? winks If you don't like the pairing, why are you staring at the monitor? grins
Disclaimers: I dreamed I owned Naruto but alas it was just a dream. damn
A/N: My second try on Naruto Fandom. Lemon-writing skill has rusted a lot so the cough scene wasn't so good but I did try my best. OOC and fluff ensues. Text in italic are thoughts.
Title: Mad love --the title sucks, I know
How can I love you more without pushing you? As it already is, I am pushing you away. And I know you notice it. I can see from the way you look at me with eyes wide with confusion and hurt. Dobe, you don't know how much I want to chase that pain away. Don't you understand? I love you and this feeling had engulfed me and I want my love to engulf you too. I want to put you in a cage so only I can admire your beauty and so that you won't leave me. I want to chain you by my side or perform grafting so we can become a one entity. I want you, all of you not only in this lifetime but for the next and the next and the next.. This love for you is madness and I have to get you away from it before it will kill you.
That faraway and distracted look on your handsome face, you think I don't see it, do you? I see it so clearly that I want to hold you so tight. I want to hold you and never let go. When you are away on mission, I feel so lonely. But Sasuke, do you know that when you are with me, it is my loneliest moment? Because it seems to you I no longer exist. It is as if you are looking through me instead of at me. The walls you built between us makes me feel more alone than I used to. This loneliness is killing me. No, you are killing me, Sasuke. What had happened to the Sasuke I know? Did I do something for you to be this distant? I want to feel those feelings you make me feel every time your onyx-colored eyes are on me. Make me feel them once more, Sasuke. Love me once more.
So engrossed I was in my thoughts that I didnﾁft notice the thick root jutting from the ground until I tripped over and broke my leg. Great! I had to be in this situation just when an enemy was few steps behind me.
"I have you now!" I heard him say triumphantly and I know this was the end. Looking at my enemyﾁfs figure above me, kunai held firmly in his hand, calmness settled within me. I would die and then be free of this unbearable painﾁc. Suddenly, another figure appeared behind my enemy and slashed him dead. I watched as blood fell on me like rain. Looking at me with waves of displeasure and disappointment emanating from his body was my savior, my ANBU captain and my dear friend, Neji.
"You should have let him kill me, captain."
"I'm not going to let you die so easily."
His calm reply ignited anger within me. I stood up, furious. "Why can't you? Why do you have to deprive me from death? Why must everything be taken from me even my chance of dying?" I cried as I gripped his chest plate, tears washing away the blood from my face. I looked at his mask. "Captain, I want to die so badly. Will you kill me?"
I lost consciousness as my captain punched me in the gut. That was his reply to my request.
When I became aware of my surroundings, I found myself in a hospital bed. My knee no longer hurt and I no longer felt the exhaustion and tension of the one-week mission. Kyuubi is the best when it comes to healing, alright. I saw my ninja gear pouch sitting innocently on the table. I stood up and took a kunai. Death was waiting for me. I could hear its voice, calling my name in a singsong melody; beckoning me to run to its open arms.
In just a second, I told myself as I brought the kunai to my heart. Once again, death was deprived from me when a hand gripped the weapon, stopping it from making its merry way into my vital organ, its tip just brushing against the hospital dress. Tensed silence settled upon as. I stared at the once pristine white floor now tainted with red liquid. His blood.
"Do you want to die so much?" He asked so quietly, it was almost a whisper. His question confirmed my suspicion, he and Neji had a talk. He didn't let go of the kunai. His tight grip told me that he won't be releasing it soon and that he was ignoring the pain caused by the wound.
"It's the only resort I now have." What's the point of staying when you no longer need me? I felt his free arm wrapping around my waist in a familiar manner, bringing us closer together. His warmth slowly seeped into my body while his scent teased my nose and then with his hot breath tickling my ear, he whispered the words I didn't want to hear from him on this moment.
"Then, let us die together."
I looked at him over my shoulder and found his eyes were full of pain and sadness. I voiced out the confusion his look brought in me.
"Together? Why would you want that when you are pushing me away?"
"Because I love you! I love you too much. More than what is considered healthy. This love I feel for you is madness, dobe!"
"What do you mean by that, bastard?"
"I am scared that my love will kill you someday."
"And you are pushing me away because of that?" I asked incredulously.
He nodded so seriously that I wanted to beat him up senseless. All these wretched emotions were caused by that assumption! For a genius, he sure was stupid.
"You don't understand."
I placed a hand on his cheek, quieting him, "Have you ever considered for a moment that perhaps I want your love to kill me?" He stared at me, his eyes filled with confusion. "Whether your love is unhealthy or not, it doesn't matter because I need your love. I need it to live."
We shared a gentle passionate kiss, our tongues leisurely dancing with each other slowly igniting the flame that was slowly fading and at the same time crumbling the wall my partner had dumbly built between us.
"Sasuke, make up for your foolishness," I whispered against his lips. My boyfriend nodded and was about to pull me towards the bed when I shook his head. "No. Here. Right now, right here." He crushed his lips against mine and I opened my mouth welcoming his invading tongue with ardent passion, giving twice more than I received.
The rustling of clothes broke the silence as we urgently get rid of them. I moaned and closed my eyes in ecstasy as his tongue and hands caressed my skin with shameless expertise and I know that he was toying with me. But I have no patience to put up with his little game. I needed him and I told him that as I bucked my hips against his hand. This is desire.
I wrapped one of my legs around his waist as his pre-cum fingers prepared me. I hummed impatiently, making him chuckle. To distract myself, I nibbled his earlobe before plunging my tongue into his ear, mimicking what I desperately want him to do. I smirked as he groaned, tilting his head to give me more of his neck. I marked him twice, thrice. This is possessiveness.
Finally, he lifted me up and I tightly secured my legs around his hips and my arms around his neck. I threw my head back as he penetrated me with one single thrust. In this moment, I wanted to shout to the world about this sense of completeness and of belongingness that was gripping my heart when we were moving as one. This is obsession
I pulled him closer, wanting him to go deeper and wanting us to be more intimate. I wanted his powerful thrusts to touch my heart; to feel that he really need me. I wanted his heat to burn me to ashes. This is need.
His deep groan made me look at him. His handsome face scrunched with desire, concentration and much to my disappointment, control. No, I didn't want him to be like this. I needed him to let his control go. I told him that between kisses and I could see the hesitance in his eyes. I decided to encourage him by clamping my muscles around his hard member. Such single action worked. I watched in fascination as a wild and animalistic look graced his visage and his eyes turned blacker than before. Seeing him like that, made me harder. I loved that look and oh God! I loved the way he furiously rammed against my sweet spot over and over again as if this was his main purpose of his existence. This is madness.
Yes, Sasuke I am as sick as you. I want your love to drive me insane, to devour me alive; to suffocate and drown me because I know that in the end, I will break free with the strength that it gives me. This is love.
A/N: Honestly, I am disappointed with how this fic turned out and I know you are too. I'll try harder on my next fic. For the meantime, why don't you review? No flames please.