Disclaimer: Not mine. 'Nuff said.

The Problem with Cape

By: Lafine

Yuffie found many, many things she disliked in Vincent Valentine.

First would be his silence. Okay, so he talked. Quite a lot if you paid enough attention and you know how to bait him. His words are cryptic but he could be blunt if needed. Fine, so it wasn't his silence that irritated her. She just dislike how everything could relate to Lucrecia whenever he talked and then he would spaced off to his desolate, it's-my-fault-blah-blah-blah world of his.

Wutai to Vinnie Valentine, hellooo? The Great Yuffie was talking about how good the chocolate chips ice-cream at the shop beside the Turtle Paradise, not about the best freezer to preserve a specimen.

Second would be his creepy eyes. She didn't know if the color was ruby red (Oooh, gemstone), blood red (err) or the-most-beautiful-shiniest-crystalline-orbs-that-are-more-precious-than-materia red that she ever see (What? She was drunk when the thought popped out). She thought maybe his hair poked his eyes way too many times. Anyways, they're just plain creepy.

Imagine yourself happily prancing in the basement of an abandoned mansion, killing monster right and left and you found a coffin that might hold the greatest materia in the world. You pushed the lid and voila, a set of glow-in-the-dark eyes glared at you.

A zombie would surprise her less.

But it was acceptable. Kinda…

The thing that annoyed Yuffie the most would be his FASHION sense. Yes, his variation of cloth he had. Or the lack thereof.

Black cloth, pant and belt(s) combined with a tattered, red cape were cool when you first saw it. It gave you the image of a lonesome, dashing, dark hero especially when his cape fluttered. But it got old when you see it for three years in a row.

Did he ever wash them? Grossness.

Not to mention, his cape was most irritating when the day was windy. And she was walking behind him. She swore the cape had a hidden grudge against her. It attacked her! Tifa, who walked beside her, didn't have the bloody scrap (pun intended) of a textile smacking her on the face. Repeatedly.

God forbid if she walked behind him again, especially in a stormy day.

It proved to be distracting in battle as well. In a battle with a Marlboro, that cape almost got her injured! She was about to land (gracefully, of course. After all, she was the great ninja extraordinaire) on the ground after she threw her Conformer towards the slimy tentacle (wait, that sounded wrong) when suddenly she saw Vincent moved to her designated place of landing. She flipped a bit so she didn't land ON him (the thought crossed her mind) and she landed without any mishaps. On his cape. Unfortunately, Vincent chose to stand and move when Yuffie was lifting one foot as to not give another shoe print on it. She fell on her face majestically when she lost her footing.

She wanted to rip and burn the moth-eaten-fashion-disaster of a cape more than she wanted to nick materia from Cloud's pocket. It was that irritating.

"Yuffie." The deadpan, monotone voice stopped her torrent of thoughts.

She looked up at the voice owner and grinned innocently while her brain churned more ideas to mutilate Vincent's current attire and changed them with more stylish one. "What is it, Vinnie? You finally realized how scintillating and beautiful I am and want to propose?"

Vincent gave her a look which she ignored skillfully. Her grin stretched further.

A sigh followed soon after he realized she wasn't taking him seriously. He'd been wondering why she had been quiet in the track to Icicle Town and had looked back at the teenager to see what was wrong. She was walking in quite a distance and he got a disturbing feeling when he saw her eyes were dead set on his cape. He didn't know why Yuffie had an almost obsessive nature over his cape.

Cold perhaps? He's going to ignore the time when Yuffie eyed his cape in the Desert Prison too.

Unbuckling his cape, he offered it wordlessly to the shivering teenager. Really, she's going to turn into an ice cube if she didn't cover herself well in this area.

Yuffie raised her eyebrows at the cape and the hand that held it. Did Vincent-o Valentine just offer her his cape? Does that mean she was free to cut it to little pieces? Burn it and scattered the ash? Or put it in a big tub full of soap, washed it until it sparkles and asked Chekov to mend the holes? She always wanted a red quilt. Or a red shirt.

"Yuffie." There was a distinct wryness in his voice. "You're shivering."

Oh, she didn't realize that.

Giving one last suspicious glare towards the object (hey, it might bite. Or have fleas.) Yuffie accepted the cape and wore them. The hem of the neckline covered half of her face, leaving only her eyes uncovered and the ragged bottom of the cape trailed on the snow. Buckling the belts was tricky but Vincent helped her (much to her surprise). After inspecting that Yuffie was finely covered in the red material, he walked off again with as much as a "Let's go."

Yuffie trailed after him, closer than before because his dratted cape was all over her and had no chance to smack her on the face.

Well, the cape had its benefit, Yuffie had to accede. It was warm and perfect to snuggle with. And what do you know? Vincent washed them. There's a lingering smell of lemon and orange softener just like the one Tifa used in 7th Heaven. Deciding the cape was mite-free, she hugged the cape tighter to herself.

Maybe, just maybe, she could change her view over the piece of cloth.

The northern wind decided to blew and the tip of the neckline flew straight to her face.

And poked her eyes.

Howling out a stream of curses she learned from Cid, Yuffie decided on one thing.

She's going to burn the cape after all.