Aurora Whisperwind: Hiya! I had a crazy inspiration!
Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or any of its characters.
Warning: This is a Mary-sue parody. If you like Mary-sues, or are offended in any way, please do not read. Please don't flame me for no reason, as THIS IS A PARODY AND IS MEANT TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY. Thank you!
Yumi woke up from her side of the flaming coal bed to notice that her Shishio-sama was gone. She sighed. Ever since Shishio-sama had taken over hell, his behavior had changed. He seemed to develop an unusual amount of interest to ruin the lives of Battosai and his friends. Maybe that's what he was doing right now. She pulled her yukata straight, and peeped in through one of Shishio's many office rooms. Yep, there he was. However, he didn't even notice her. That was odd. Peering closer, she noticed that both he and Houji seemed to be in some kind of trance, black candles lit around them. Shit, not again.
"Come forth great spirits!" Houji yelled, "Come forth! We beseech you to help us!" Shishio grunted an assent, too proud to beg. Yumi shrugged and wandered off, wondering where they kept the tuna sandwiches. A great burst of light blazed into the office room as soon as she left, and a teenage girl appeared out of nowhere. Shishio opened his eyes. He smiled at her. Yes, this plan was good.
Back in the living world.
"Tae-san!" the little errand boy cried, waving a package in his hands. "This arrived for you, Tae-san!" Tae was puzzled. "Where did it come from?" she asked the boy, now impatient to leave. "I don't know!" he yelled, and hurried off to other jobs. "Strange child….." she mused looking at the oddly wrapped package and tried to open it. It didn't come off. It seemed very inviting though, begging her to open it. Maybe Kaoru-chan or Ken-san will have an idea of what this is.
"Tae-san! What bring s you here?" Kenshin asked, rubbing his hands dry on his hakama, just having finished the laundry. "Ken-san, I need to show you all something. Is Kaoru-chan here?" Tae asked; the package in her arms. "Tae-san! What are you doing here?" Kaoru asked, coming out of the dojo, sweaty and red in face. "Ohayo, Kaoru-chan. I was here to ask you for help" Tae said, fingering the package nervously. Kaoru looked puzzled, but led the way inside so they could all sit down. "Hello Tae!" greeted Sanosuke warily, wondering if she was there to collect his tab. But she seemed preoccupied and nervous, and didn't look like she even acknowledged him. "What's wrong, Tae-san?" Kenshin ventured, an odd frown on his face. "This"-Tae pushed the package in front of her.
"What is it?" Kaoru asked, as Sanosuke took a closer look at the beautifully wrapped package. "I don't know" Tae answered. "Do you know who sent it?" Sano asked, touching the wrapping tentatively. "I don't know" Tae answered again. "Does it belong to you?" Kenshin asked, peering at Tae's flushed face curiously. "I don't know" Tae stuttered, red in face. The Kenshin-gumi sweat-dropped. "So you have no idea what this is, who sent it, or whether it even belongs to you?" Tae nodded.
"Well, let's just open it and see!", Kaoru declared. "You can't" Tae said, as Yahiko came in, exhausted. "Why can't we?" Kaoru enquired, as Sano filled Yahiko in on what happened. "I already tried to. It wouldn't come off" Tae explained. "Let's try anyway" Kaoru said, grabbing the package and tearing the wrapping off. It came off easily, much to Tae's embarrassment, revealing a leather bound book with a clasp. "It's such a beautiful book…" Kaoru muttered, fingering it and flipping open the first page.
Scrawly handwriting read-
The angel's tears that melted the icy heart of the amber eyed dragon.
"What was that supposed to mean?" Sano asked, bewildered. "I don't know" Kaoru answered, "Let's read on, shall we?" the rest nodded, not noticing the evil pink glow that the book was emanating. Pinker than cotton candy. Pinker than a thirteen year old's room. Pinker than Dee dee's frock. Pinker than, gasp! Kenshin's gi.
Once upon a time in Tokgiwa era, Kaoru read aloud, there lived a beauttiful gurl. She was more buttifuller than the sun, more buttifuller than the sky, more buttifuller than the rain. Her name was MitzuwashashiHikoSoujirotamajiro. Kaoru stopped, "What is this supposed to pronounced as?" The rest looked extremely confused. Kenshin shrugged, "Please continue, Kaoru-dono". But evry1 called her Mitzu for short. Her name meant light, and she waz every bit lighty. She had long hair the colour of goleden, so golden it put the sun to shame. It was straight, and slightly wavy at teh ends. It was not hevy, but very light and beautiful and sliky, and soft. Her eyes were violet, purpler than the purplest of purples. Kaoru stopped again, "What rubbish is this?" Yahiko demanded, irritated. "How can something be so badly described?" Sano sighed, "Continue. Let's see where this is going"
Her skin was fair and smoth, and milkier than a baby's. she had a perfect figre, slim but full. She was laso the greatest swordswoman, poet, heler, dancer, singer, and everthing else on the planet. She was very unhapppy though, as she was absed as a child, but bore it gret bravery. She was 13 years old, and was goig to fite in the bakamatsu, as she kewn what it was lyke to suffre. She was accepted into the sinshengimu, agter she bet Saito and Okita with her attack spells. Everyone loved her madly, yet she loved them only as her brethers. One day when the moon was shining-
"That is just stupid! How can the moon shine at daytime? What rubbish is this? And Kenshin was the best swordsman, not some random chick!" Sano yelled, snatching the book from Kaoru, and attempting to tear it. However, the book glowed its scary pink again, and it was very noticeable now. Sano dropped it horror as the book began to float, and a high female voice announced, "PUNISHMENT! YOU SHALL PAY!" A dome of light appeared out of the blue, and the Kenshin-gumi watched wordlessly as three figures appeared, a tall, lean one, a taller, heavyset person, and a small, delicate figure.
Who are the new arrivals? Guess! What do you think of the story so far? I did not mean to insult anyone's fics, honest, but this was just something I wanted to do.