Angel / Bones Crossover
Title: What Kind of Name is Seeley?
Summary: Angel and Booth are sucked into a portal and are dropped off in each others world, you can just imagine the humor in all this.
World of Angel : Take place after season five, && Connor works at W&H, and Wesley &&Fred are miraculously revived.
World of Bones: Whatever is going on at the moment.
Disclaimer: I don't own Angel or Bones, sad to say but true…
a/n: I haven't written a fanfiction in, forever. So don't kill me, please, my usual editor person is in England right now, seriously. So… I had my dear, dear friend LPS (now BAM Aesthetic) edit it instead. Bare with me. Please R&R. Enjoy!
Chapter One -Oh, God. I'm in Hell.
The World of Angel
Angel was quietly sitting in his office doing some paper works when Wesley walked in.
"Hey Wes, do we have a new case?" the vampire asked, not looking up from his paper work. "Well if you consider a three-headed baby eating demon named Iwon Te Atyou looking to sue UPS a case, then yes we do," he said handing Angel a manila folder.
"So, what exactly is UPS?" inquired Angel, grabbing the folder.
"UPS. It stands for United Pedophile Service," Wesley answered. "Comforting, yes?"
"Why does Iwon Te Atyou wanna sue UPS?" asked Angel, ignoring Wesley's last comment. He was skimming through the papers in the folder.
"Well apparently, one of the UPS guys left a package at his house right in front of his door. Next day on his way to work, he walks out, trips, rolls down the stairs and the poor guy breaks his leg. Angel, just so you know, our client prefers being called Mr. Te Atyou," Wesley informed him as he took a seat in the chair in front of Angel's desk.
"Well that was stupid of him. Why doesn't he check to see if there's anything in his way before he starts making his merry way out the door?" said a voice from behind Wesley and Angel. It was Spike sitting on the couch near the door. He was very laidback with his feet up on the coffee table; he was drinking beer.
"Spike, what are you doing here?" grunted Angel.
"Well I'm bloody bored, that's what. So I was thinking, 'Why should I be the only one bored out of my mind? Angel should have a share of the fun.' So here I am." He smiled in that so-what-are-you-going-to-do-about-it way.
"Hello, Spike," Wesley greeted him.
"'Ello English, how's life treating ya? Hmm?" Spike asked, taking a sip of beer.
"Can we get back to the case here?" interrupted Angel.
"Oh, sorry Angel didn't mean to get sidetrack." Wesley turned around in the chair to face him. "So what are we gonna do about Mr. Te Atyou? I mean we are his lawyers."
"What does Mr. Te Atyou do for a living?" questioned Angel, still looking through the papers.
Wesley took the papers from him and quickly looked through it. "Mr. Te Atyou, works at…a daycare center," he said looking up surprised. "A bit ironic, don't you think?" And he gave the folder back to Angel.
"I bet the bloke loved 'Snack Time,' all those little munchkins." Spike laughed.
"Spike!" Angel yelled. "Will you at least make yourself useful?"
"Sorry bud, but I don't work for you; don't have to do a thing you say." He smiled.
There was a knock on the door. "Come on in, we're decent." Spike answered.
"Hey you don't get to invite people into my office, got it!" Angel said threateningly, pointing his finger at Spike.
"Oh, sorry man, didn't mean to step over your authority." apologized Spike. "Never mind forget what I said don't come in we're all butt naked!" He yelled at the door, then took another sip of his beer.
Wesley tried his hardest not to laugh.
"Spike…"Angel said under his breathe. "Come in."
The door opened, it was Connor he had a package in his hands. "Hey Dad, Uncle Wes, Spike." he smiled and closed the door behind him.a/n: I just like Connor addressing the people who knew him as a baby as Uncle or Auntie. I'm Filipino if that helps any."Hello, Connor," Wesley replied.
"Hey son, what do you have there?" Angel was referring to the package Connor was holding. "UPS just dropped it off, so I'm bringing it up here for you. It says 'Fragile' like fifty times so the usual delivery boy was too chicken to bring it. He's scared he's gonna drop and break it." Connor laughed. "He already tripped over it anyways; broke his leg, pretty funny huh?"
"Humans: They're so self-conscious. Pathetic bunch really, they're just a meal waiting to happen," Spike contemplated.
The three just stared at him. "Hey Spike," Connor began "Your hair is sticking up."
"WHAT! WHERE!" he quickly stood up and went to window to try and see his reflection. "Damn bloody, no reflection, vampire self." He turned to the others. "Is it really that bad? Is my hair really sticking up like a porcupine's backside?" He asked worried for his own vanity.
"Humans aren't the only self-conscious bunch, huh, Spiky?" Angel was smirking. Connor and Wesley couldn't hold in their laughter.
"Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. I get it this is a father/son set up, and English boy is just here for the chuckle. Okay I can see, I will get you Angel and your little boy too!" Spike said, then began to laugh maniacally. "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…ha…ack." He coughed. "Well bye all." And left the room to plot his revenge. "Anyways…Connor you can just leave the package there." Angel instructed his son.
"'Kay." Connor said putting down the package. "Anything you want me to do?" He asked looking back up at his father.
"Um, will you get Gunn? I have a case for him."
"Alright." Connor answered, and he left.
"You gotta love that kid, ain't he great? He respects me, his Uncle Wes, and best of all he makes fun of Spike, he makes me so proud." Angel pretended to wipe a tear from his eye.
"Well he's a real chip off the old block." Wesley laughed.
The two talked while they waited for Gunn, who came in about 10 minutes later. "Hey, boss man. Hey Wesleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!" Gunn tripped over the package that was left on the floor.
"Gunn!" The two men quickly got up to assist their comrade. "Are you alright?" Wesley asked as he and Angel helped Gunn up onto his feet.
"Yeah. I think I sprained my ankle though."
Angel and Wesley helped Gunn to the couch. "What was that thing I tripped on?" Gunn asked as soon as he sat down.
"It was a package." answered Wesley examining Gunn's ankle for swelling.
"A package? I tripped on a package? How did that ended up there?"
"I told Connor to leave the package at the door, when I asked him to get you." Angel said "It's actually kind of funny, you see the case I want you to work on is similar to what just happened. A demon, Mr. Te Atyou, is suing UPS. He tripped on a package, too, when they left at his house."
"Hey, don't worry Angel I'll make sure I win this case, I'm a suing that place for every penny it's worth." Gunn reassured him.
"Angel, I think you should check on the package, see if it's broken. Connor did say it was fragile." Wesley informed him.
"Oh right!" Angel went and got the package. "I don't think anything's broken." He said as he opened it. Inside he found a small mirror. It looked very old. It was round and had a green-ish metal frame around it. The frame had patterns mostly, diamond shaped, and it had rubies in the center of each one.
"Is it broken?" Gunn was concerned that he might of broken Angel's mirror when he tipped over it.
"No I don't think it is." Angel replied as the examined the mirror. "Wesley, do you think you can find out if this mirror has any kind of mystical powers?"
"Of course, but Angel it looks like an ordinary mirror to me."
"Yeah, I know, but I get this weird feeling. I mean why would anyone send me a mirror? I can't even see myself in it, not really much point to even having this, you know." Angel explained.
"I see. Alright I'll see what I can…" Wesley was cut off but a bright light that came from the mirror. When the light was gone, Wesley and Gunn found that the both Angel and the mirror had disappeared.
"Angel?" Wesley called out. "Where'd he go, he was just standing there… Right?" Gunn asked.
"Yes, he was. I guess he was right. Perhaps the mirror does have some mystical powers. I should try to find the mirror in the book, and where Angel might be." Wesley walked out of Angel's office, without looking back.
"Um, Wes! Hey Wesley! A little help here!" Gunn shouted as Wesley left. "Damn." Gunn laid back into the couch, he couldn't really move, his ankle hurt too much.
The door suddenly burst opened. Gunn looked up, he thought Wesley finally realized he had left him in Angel's office. But it was Spike, he had his game face on, he was holding a stake in in one hand and an old looking book in the other.
"Now your in for it, Angel!" He looked around before noticing no one was at Angel's desk. He saw Gunn sitting on the couch and asked "Hey, where did Angel go?"
"You just missed him. He got sucked into some mirror." Gunn relied.
"Aw, deng it!" Spike kicked the air. "So a mirror beat me to the punch line. I had this whole thing planned too, and that ugly brute gets sucked into a bloody mirror." he sighed. "Ah well, hey tell me when Angel gets back alright? Got a gift for him." And with that he left the room again leaving Gunn all alone… again.
"Hey Spike! A little help! Oh, forget it."
Meanwhile in the World of Bones…
Angel fell onto a cold, hard floor. When he opened his eyes, he saw the mirror lying next to him. He slowly got to his feet and picked up the mirror. "Stupid mirror."
He looked around the room: he wasn't alone, there were people in blue jumpsuits, all whom were staring at him; there were computers with pictures of skulls and phalanges of the hands; there were knives and saws on a tray next to him; and there were skeletons. He counted at least five as he looked around; they were on metal tables, most of them were bloody and had decaying flesh still hanging off them.
"Oh God, I'm in Hell."