No, Nina! Bad Nina!
- What do puppets eat?
- Let's find out...
Gunn and Lorne were getting worried, and Spike was getting bloody annoyed. They had a team meeting booked with Angel 20 minutes ago, and it wasn't like him to be this late. Finally the elevator arrived from the private penthouse and their boss – or rather, the two-foot puppet into which he had been transformed – stepped out, walked with a weird bounce in his step over to his desk and climbed up onto the chair.
"Right. Sorry I'm late. Let's get this thing settled. The Grohben demons are planning something, and we..." He looked around the office, especially at the two empty chairs. "Where are Wes and Fred?"
"They're... uh... busy. They had some sort of project to work on." Lorne was a bit embarrassed; when the new couple left the office in an awful hurry Wesley had been whistling, and he had gotten a pretty good visual of what they would be up to.
"Too busy to sit in on important meetings?"
Spike scoffed. "Please. You're one to talk, mate. Where you been all day, anyway? Everyone around the office has been askin' if it's true that the boss turned into a puppet, and since I forgot to take a picture –"
"If you must know, I've been having breakfast."
"Angel, it's 5PM." Gunn held up his Rolex. "Besides, you don't eat."
"Yeah, turns out puppets have... uh... a big appetite. Takes time."
"Well whatever you've been eating, it seems to have done you a world of good, Mister Fuzzypants!" Lorne beamed at him. "I mean look at that, your scars, I mean... stitches from where Nina bit you are already healing."
"Nina didn't – oh, you mean when she was a wolf. Yeah. Vampire healing. So, about the Grohben demons, I think we should -"
Everyone's attention turned towards the elevator as the doors opened again and Nina stepped out. "Hi guys." She walked over to Angel and playfully ruffled his hair. "Mornin', stud."
"Morning, Nina. I trust you slept well on the couch?" Angel desperately tried to wink at her to make her catch his drift; turned out puppets didn't have eyelids. She caught on all the same, though.
"Wha- oh, yeah, the... couch, right. Great couch. Will you be down to the cage to, uh, tuck me in later? Sun's going down in an hour or so."
"Soon as this meeting's over. Promise."
Nina smiled and kissed the top of his head. She whispered something in his ear - hey, look, puppets can blush - and sashayed out of the office, not noticing the way the others stared at her. When she'd gone, they stared at Angel instead.
"So..." Gunn started. "Breakfast, huh?"
Angel rolled his eyes – now that puppets can do. "OK, you got me. We did eat breakfast. We just... progressed from there."
"And you wouldn't say you're evil at all?"
"Oh come on, I'm a freakin' puppet! Do you really think I could be perfectly happy like that? Yes, I had sex, it's no big deal, mind your own business and could we PLEASE discuss what we're gonna do about the Grohben demons already?"
The discussion turned out to be a rather loud and heated one, thanks in part to Angel's puppet-enhanced excitability. The fact that Spike would much rather speculate on exactly how puppets are equipped, and whether Nina agreed that it wasn't a "big deal", didn't help either. Before anyone knew it, an hour had gone by. Gunn was just making a probably correct but very boring reference to some previous court case that could help them when Angel suddenly gasped and doubled over in pain. Everyone stopped talking and ran to his side.
"Angel, you OK, man?"
Angel grimaced in agony, but managed to smile. "Guess I'm finally changing back. Sorry, Spike, seems you'll have to deal with the real me agaiNAAAARGH!"
The others stared in disbelief at the puppet. He was changing, alright, but there was something very wrong. He wasn't growing larger or more flesh-and-bone-y, just... furrier. It was Lorne who first looked out the window at the setting sun and put two and two together. "Um... guys... it's a full moon tonight, right?"
"Yeah, third night. That's why Nina is downst-" Gunn suddenly understood. "Wait, I thought vampires were supposed to be immune to werewolf bites?"
"I guess puppets aren't."
They all stared as Angel turned into a little stuffed wolf. He looked up at them and bared his tiny teeth, then let out an adorable little howl and scampered out into the lobby, where he tried to savage Harmony. He failed miserably since his teeth and claws were made of felt. Gunn ran after him – "Angel! STAY!" – while Lorne sighed and sat down; this would be a PR nightmare. A vampire werewolf running an evil lawfirm, that he could probably sell, but... as a puppet, he was just too darn cute.
Spike, of course, was busy rolling around on the floor laughing his ass off. "He... he's a wee little puppy man!"