Hey guys, sorry it took so long to update, but now the time on the computers is limited, cuz this teacher sucks. But anyways… I don't really have much to say except my life has been really busy so like, don't be expecting one every week now. So sorry guys, I still luv ya all!
When I woke up the next morning, I noticed the clothes sitting on the couch in my bedroom, and remembered that today was my day to be preppy. I had to run over to Emma's house so she could put the make-up back on me and everything, so I was a little rushed. I threw the clothes on, and ran out the door grabbing some flip flops on the way out.
"Sammy! Look, your not wearing black!" My mom said in amazement catching me before I made it out the door, I was trying to avoid her from knowing.
"No, really?" I said sarcastically, and walked out the door slamming it behind me. I sighed, and tried to go as fast as I could to get there fast enough.
"I'm surprised you showed up," she said when I knocked on her door, well, I was about to but she must have been waiting for me. I walked into her house and nodded, "I don't break promises."
"You didn't promise anything," she laughed, and I shook my head, "No, but I told you I was going to be here, that's close enough for me."
She was wearing almost the same thing as me, except it was in pink, I guess that she wanted us to match a little, I didn't really know why. I followed her back to her room again, and she put it all on a little faster than the day before.
"Ok, you ready? We're done just in time. My mom will take us," she said, and grabbed her purse off the closet door, then she grabbed my hand and drug me out the door with her.
"You must be Sam," her mom said greeting me with a smile, she seemed like she was tidy, her voice was high pitched, her clothes were perfect, and she wore one of those fake smiles that bugged the hell out of me. Not only that, but she sounded way too happy, it wasn't even funny, kind of like my mom, but in a different way.
"Yeah, nice to meet you," I said shyly, and Emma rolled her eyes, "We'll be out in the car," she said and I followed her back out the door again, she was walking with that preppish attitude like no one was better than her, she thought she was cool from walking out on her mom like that, but I was here to tell her, I had done that more times than you could possibly count.
"Parents are so annoying," she said opening the car door and hopping in, and I slid in next to her.
"Yeah, that's for sure," I agreed, and fell backwards into the seat leaning as far as I could with my head facing towards the ceiling, I was so exhausted this week, and all this change wasn't helping any. I had to have had the highest stress this week since Danny started splitting away from me. But then again, it would all be Ok in the end, at least I believed so.
"You nervous?" She asked me as her mom got in the car, I simply shook my head, I didn't want to talk about it anymore. It wasn't as much nervous as I was worried. Mostly worried if it was even going to make a difference, I didn't want to feel bad about myself if people didn't even notice, and I had a funny feeling people weren't going to look at me the same, maybe they would even look on me lower. After all, I would be a 'poser' in a way, since I was dressing out of my range.
When we pulled up to the school I finally realized that I did care about what people thought of me, because I looked around at all the people, and immediately thoughts ran through my head wondering exactly the reaction they would have. I wanted a big reaction, I would probably be crushed if I walked through the doors and no one even noticed. I wasn't even in the mood to impress Danny any longer, I wanted to impress everyone. It was as though becoming a prep was something I wanted, deep down inside, but in yet I would still always hate the preps, I could never have their attitude, although anyone can change.
"Come on," she said, and I shook out of my trance and looked at her worriedly, and she shook her head, "It's gonna be just fine, come on."
I got out of the car slowly and looked down at myself, everything was going to be all right, and hopefully everything would be perfect.
At first I thought no one would notice, because on my walk to the school no one seemed to notice at all, I just felt like myself, in a weird outfit that I wasn't at all comfortable in. But then when I walked in the door and down the hall a little ways, I realized that I was getting stared at. No, not by nerds, or anyone else that might have the slightest interest in me, but by the preppy guys, in particularly, Dash and his gang. They all stopped what they were doing and kept their eyes on me, and I felt like as though the whole world was coming down on top of me, it wasn't a feeling of relief, but more like people were in my bubble.
"Who's the new girl?" Dash asked me, and I just kept on walking, I didn't know what to do, and getting Dash's attention wasn't my goal in life, not at all. But I felt him following me still, and one of his friends walked in front of me, and I felt trapped. They were all around me, and it took them all a minute to realize who they were trying to get the attention of.
"Manson?" Dash asked me, and I nodded my head slowly, but none of them backed off, and all stood there.
"What happened to you? Get some surgery?" He said, and they all started laughing.
"No, I didn't. I just… changed my look a little, now get out of my way," I said shoving through them, but Dash grabbed me and swung me around to face him.
"You wanna hang out with me tonight?" He said raising his eyebrows, and I shook my head, "Where were you the past 4 years? I don't think so," I said and pulled away from him and walked off, he wasn't going to look any more embarrassed than he had all ready made himself.
I walked over to my locker, and opened it up doing the same thing I did everyday, but I could still feel eyes on me, and it was starting to creep me out. Did changing your outfit and make-up really make that big of a difference? I guess my other clothes weren't as tight as these were, and didn't help make me look a little more… showy? But that didn't really matter, I was still the same person, Goth looking or not, I was a Goth at heart still, or at least I thought so.
"Sam?" I heard Danny's voice behind me, and my heart felt like it stopped for a second, and I turned around slowly to face him, but kept my glance down to the ground.
"Are you who I think you are?"
"Yes Danny, I am," I said looking up at him, in a way this made me mad at him, now all the sudden he noticed me, and said my name with his perfect, hot voice. For once he decided he could talk to me again without worrying about people seeing him around me, all because I looked like one of them.
"What did you do?"
"Changed my look, what do you think?"
"Why though? What happened to the whole individuality thing?"
"I didn't realize you still remembered so much about me Danny, I seem to have forgotten what you're like. People change Danny, maybe it was my turn."
"You're mad at me, aren't you?"
"Obviously. You dump me for 4 years, then turn around and decide it's Ok now? Doesn't seem like we really were best friends Danny."
"Sorry Sam… but when I…"
"When you got the opportunity to jump to be a prep, you decided it would be good to jump for it and totally forget about your other friends. I figured it out Danny, we obviously don't matter to much, maybe I never have."
"Sam, you knew that I wanted…"
"Just go away, hang out with your girlfriend, because you ruined anything happening with me," I yelled at him and slammed my locker shut and walked off. By the time I got to the other side of the hall I realized how dumb I had been, I had a chance with him and totally blew it. Yet I felt good about what I said, in the slightest way, but I did.
"Nice job Sam," Emma said to me, she must have seen the whole thing because she was saying it sarcastically, and she looked a little mad at me.
"I couldn't help it…" I sighed and realized that I had been dumb; she walked with me down the hall, both of us walking at a slow pace so we could talk before we got into the classroom where it would feel like everyone was listening to us. And watching us obviously, even walking down the hall I could feel people staring at me, but I tried my best to ignore it so that I could have my full attention on Emma.
"I realize that you had a good reason for that Sam… but think about it, you probably just totally ruined the whole thing."
"Yeah… I know," I sighed and looked at the people walking down the hall, even people that I didn't know kept their eyes focused on me and it was bugging me.
"Or… he could just think you're playing hard to get, then you would be in a good position. If he keeps trying for you, then you know he wants you."
"Me? Probably not for ME but for the way I look now. I don't know what he's thinking anymore, I used to think I knew him, but that all seems to have slipped away, neither one of us are the same person we used to be," I said looking down on the ground, and I realized we had reached our classroom. We both walked in and everyone stared at us. I felt myself trying to hide my face a little by looking in the opposite direction and when I got to my seat I fell down as low as I could go.
"Sam, sit up," she said to me, and I looked at her and across the room where people were still looking at us.
"I don't think so," I argued and stayed low, it felt like as though I wasn't seen that way, although I probably looked like a total idiot doing this, but that wasn't anything for me to worry about, after all, I didn't care what people thought, right? I was beginning to think I did care what people thought though, because now I knew that people could like me enough for me to feel like a prep. I could even start walking like them, showing off… yet I was going to hold off on that, I didn't want to change as drastically as Danny had changed.
"Sam, come on. We should start calling you Sammy, that would be a more girly name," she said out of no where, she must have realized that it would make me sit up though.
"I don't think so," I said, and on accident sat up because I was trying to make it clear that I didn't want to be called that. I wasn't going to become a girly girl, just for one day, and that was it.
"Oh really? Please Sammy? See! It fits so perfectly!" She said getting excited with a squeaky voice, and I could still see all the people on the other side of the room staring at us. I saw Dash get up and start heading our way and I tried to tell her by looking back and forth from the two and she got the point and didn't continue on with our conversation.
"We don't want to be bugged Dash," she said and turned from me to him, and he backed away a little bit, maybe she was a little more evil than she seemed? Probably not, he probably just didn't want to make us mad if he thought he was going to have any chance at either one of us.
"You do this to her?" He asked Emma and she nodded proudly, "Yep."
"Well, nice job, because now I think she might actually be hot," he said, and I could feel myself blushing instantly and I felt my whole body heat up in a second. Just hearing him out of all people calling me hot wasn't on my agenda for the day, and it was a little weird. Wait… I did care what people thought, and it felt like as though I actually liked him! No… that couldn't be, I was just a little happy about my looks, that was all.
"Thanks…" I said shyly trying to break the odd silence that had formed around our group, and he smiled at me and leaned on my desk and I felt myself moving backwards slowly, it was a little odd to have someone hitting on me.
"You wanna go out tonight?" He asked me, why was he trying to hard to get me to go with him. I looked at Emma and she gave me a short nod to agree to it, maybe it would at least make Danny jealous?
"Sure, why not," I agreed and a smile formed across his face and he walked away without saying another word. I looked at Emma confused.
"He'll probably talk to you about it later," she explained, and I smiled, "All right."
"I thought you hated his guts?"
"Yeah… but maybe it'll make Danny jealous if Dash and I go a little farther than just a date, ya know?"
"Oh so you're using him? You are so mean!" She said and gave me a playful shove.
"Who knows… maybe he's not as bad as I find him to be," I said, but in a way wasn't expecting him to be all that great really…