The World of Quake

I'm here to tell you a story of a computer game that became life or death. This is a true story of a game that became part of my life. One day I was sitting on my computer (not really sitting on it but using it). I had the sound up all the way and I could here nothing of my life in quake. A storm came and it was raining hard but the sound of the game kept the storm out. Finally I saw a flash, lightning! And it was two late the lighting hit the house and traveled down into the computer. The computer screen shattered and a strong force pulled me into the computer. I was now in the world of quake. It was a small battle 1 on 1 but I had to learn to survive. I won with out dieing once and I was wondering if I died would I pop back up to life like the computers on just die. So one day I was getting sick and tired of just killing and killing when a guy came to fight me it looked like he was a human. You see all the computers have the same look so I thought maybe it happened to an other guy. So I said "Hi" he said hi back I said are you a computer? He said no. I asked him his name and he said my name is John I said my name is Evan it means "the one" he said oh my god I was waiting for you all these years you see I was sucked into this… I know it happened to me. Well I have a idea if I find a way to bounce up to the ceiling do you think we could brake open and get out. John said yah you might but that is so far up. I know but I found this new weapon and I pull it out. Its called the Rail Gun if you shoot down at the ground it makes you bounce. So what happens if you do it when you land on a bounce pad? So I got near the bounce pad and used the rail gun to boost me hard up I hit my head on the ceiling and came back down. Then john said I know use the hammer saw to make a hole in the ceiling. I tried again but when I got to the top I used the hammer saw to punch a small hole in the ceiling. Then john tried shooting the hole larger with the rocket launcher. It made the hole bigger so we could fit thru the ceiling. We made it out. We popped up on the sidewalk of a street and noticed we where still dressed in are clothes and had the rail gun. The rail gun did not run out of ammo so we could decide if we could use are stuff for good or bad.

I will continue with this story just tell me if i shold make it good or bad