DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gundam SEED. This idea is originally from Theresa Green, and inspired by Hikari Hrair-Rah's RK series.

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Author's Notes: I apologize to those who put up their requests... I just can't seem to get Yzak out of my mind. Though, rest assured I will 'do' more units.

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YZAK JOULE: The Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual

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Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a fully-automated YZAK JOULE unit. To ensure that you get the full use and benefits of your Hot-Tempered (or plain 'HOT') Gundam Pilot, please pay close attention to the following instructions:

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Basic Information

Name: Yzak Joule (a.k.a. Yzak Jule, Zakie-baby-poo useable by his mother ONLY, Joule, Yzak)

Date of Manufacture: 8 August C.E. 54 (Yeah! Older than Athrun!)

Place of Manufacture: PLANTs; ZAFT Military, Le Creuset Team Division

Genetic Type: Coordinator

Height: 175 cm (Hah! Taller than Athrun!)

Weight: Heavy

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Your YZAK JOULE unit will come with the following accessories:

One standard issued ZAFT pilot suit (with knife)

One standard issued ZAFT military suit

One set Morgenroete jumpsuit (for spy work)

One first aid kit (with lots of bandages)

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Please take note that a Mobile Suit (Gundam) is not included with your YZAK JOULE unit. Your YZAK JOULE unit must steal the GAT-X102 DUEL from the nearest HELIOPOLIS space colony with his buddies, er, comrades.

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Programming:

Your YZAK JOULE unit may not be the most versatile units around, but with proper motivation (read: subtle commands laced with challenges), he will gladly serve in as many different modes as possible. If he is still unwilling to do what you want him to do, get an ATHRUN ZALA unit and announce loudly how it is so much better than your YZAK unit. Or if all else fails, buy an EZARIA JOULE unit or risk having a RAU LE CREUSET in your household.

PILOT: The YZAK JOULE is a member of the ZAFT Elite and as such, is a highly-effective pilot. Although he may not be as skilled as the KIRA YAMATO unit, he certainly can score two Gundam kills! Hire him out to the military and watch the cash roll in.

BODYGUARD: The YZAK JOULE is many things but he is certainly no pushover. He can certainly protect you if push comes to shove. Having experience as a bully, he will most definitely know how to deal with them.

BARKER: The YZAK JOULE unit is built with powerful lungs. Hire him out to a carnival and let him yell his heart out.

SINGER: Although not as good a singer as the LACUS CLYNE unit, this unit still beats the ATHRUN ZALA unit when it comes to singing. And that's what matters. Well, for the YZAK JOULE's ego, anyways.

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Your YZAK JOULE has four (4) different settings:

Angry/Irritated (default setting)

Silent

Trigger-Happy

SEED Mode (Level One Lock)

SEED mode is characterized by a glazed look in the eyes and will increase the strength of the unit. We are not responsible for any damages unit might cause when in SEED mode, in Trigger-Happy mode, and/or in Angry/Irritated mode. Silent mode is only activated when unit is alone, for obvious reasons. This unit has yet to show signs that it has the SEED factor, but according to theory, it does, so nyah.

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Relations with other units:

Your YZAK JOULE is not a very sociable unit. There are a few units that he can tolerate at a certain extent. As such, please take note of the following:

DEARKA ELTHMAN: Yes, the YZAK JOULE, hot-tempered as he is, has a best friend. Or someone that closely resembles a best friend. Interactions with this unit are fairly safe; just make sure that the DEARKA ELTHMAN that he is interacting with hasn't switched sides or anything. The DEARKA ELTHMAN is fairly immune to the YZAK JOULE's insults and temperament.

ATHRUN ZALA: This unit is the proclaimed rival of the YZAK JOULE (however one-sided that rivalry may be). Interactions with this unit must always be supervised as it could result to injuries and damages to property. If you, however, are unable to supervise them, make sure that other units are nearby to stop any fights from ensuing.

RAU LE CREUSET: This unit is the YZAK JOULE's direct superior. Your YZAK JOULE unit looks up to this unit and is very loyal to him. WARNING: Interactions with this highly-evil and manipulative unit should ALWAYS be supervised. The RAU LE CREUSET might even attempt to kill your YZAK JOULE but don't feel bad about it. The RAU LE CREUSET treats everyone that way.

Other unit interactions:

FLAY ALLSTER: Your YZAK JOULE unit will mostly act indifferent to this unit to the point of meanness. Do not worry, however, as the YZAK JOULE will most certainly NOT do it any harm (as the saying goes, 'his bark is worse than his bite').

NICOL AMARFI: Your YZAK JOULE unit can tolerate the NICOL AMARFI at a certain level – that is to say, as long as the NICOL AMARFI is not siding with the ATHRUN ZALA unit during the fights in any way.

EZARIA JOULE: Your YZAK JOULE unit is a closet-momma's boy, as such, there is no danger in leaving interactions with this unit unsupervised.

STRIKE: Two words: "SHII-NE! STURAIKO!"

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Cleaning:

Your YZAK JOULE may be a closet-momma's boy of sorts, but rest assured that he is fully capable of cleaning and grooming himself. If you, however, cannot resist cleaning him yourself, we advise that you knock him out unconscious first. Do not machine-wash unit; do not tumble unit dry; do not hang unit in the line to dry.

Energy:

Your YZAK JOULE unit is a growing teenager and, thus, needs proper food and nourishment. If you, per chance, suddenly run out of food stock in the cupboard, rest assured that your YZAK JOULE unit is a highly-trained soldier and, as such, fully capable of finding food for himself. If, however, his ARISTOCRATIC nature kicks in and demands for gourmet food, that's your problem, not ours.

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Frequently Asked Questions:

Q: Hi! There seems to be something wrong with my YZAK JOULE. He seems to be constantly in a bad mood. He even glares at me, his owner. What should I do? I want to get close to him but he seems to not want to.

A: If you wanted a best friend, you should've gotten the KIRA YAMATO or LACUS CLYNE unit. Nothing is wrong with your YZAK JOULE. On the contrary, it's YOU who obviously has issues. Have you even watched the Gundam SEED series?

Q: My YZAK JOULE is wearing a white commander's uniform instead of the standard red one for the ZAFT Elite. To top it all off, He's shouting commands and asking for his ship, the Voltaire, and his 'subordinates', Dearka and Shiho. Is he turning into another RAU LE CREUSET?

A: Nope, don't worry. As much as he seems like a villain in SEED, he is not. That's the YZAK JOULE Destiny Prototype. We apologize for the mistake. Please ship it back to us and we'll gladly replace it with your desired unit.

Q: My YZAK JOULE has this ugly scar running diagonal across his nose bridge! It's really scary to look at! Is he pulling a Harry Potter on me?

A: Harry Potter? No, rest assured, that scar did not come from Avada Kedavra. It was 'given' to him by KIRA YAMATO. If you think it is ugly and want to have it removed, you obviously have another thing coming. Your YZAK JOULE would not want to part with it any time soon, but wait a few years (until Gundam SEED Destiny, that is) and he will gladly have it removed.

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Troubleshooting:

Problem: Your YZAK JOULE and your ATHRUN ZALA unit are constantly fighting and grating your nerves.

Solution: Those two are the most incompatible units around. They just don't mix (kind of like oil and water). They may tolerate each other at a certain level out of respect after several battles together, that doesn't mean that they are the best of friends. Choose one and give away the other one to a friend. If you can't choose between them, we advise you to buy a crate of aspirins. In short, deal with it.

Problem: Your YZAK JOULE has been awfully quiet for quite some time and you're beginning to get worried.

Solution: First, did your NICOL AMARFI get KIA, your DEARKA ELTHMAN MIA and your ATHRUN ZALA promoted? If yes, then that's what's wrong. His friends, or comrades (as is the term much preferred) just left him one by one. Hey, if you the only one left behind with an eccentric commander who wants to kill you for some reason, you'd understand why your YZAK JOULE is acting that way.

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With proper care and maintenance, your YZAK JOULE unit will lead a full and (somewhat) happy life. If you want a couple more silver-haired brats, then pair him up with a SHIHO HAHNENFUSS unit and watch – or rather – wait until they procreate.

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Author's Notes: I was supposed to do the Lacus Clyne one, but I couldn't resist. The tentative list of 'units' that I'm planning to write are the following: Dearka Elthman, Lacus Clyne, Rau Le Creuset, Shinn Asuka, Rey Za Burrel, Gilbert Dullindal, and Lunamaria Hawke. I'm planning to write Destiny versions of the previous 'units' but, well, I'm not promising anything. There's just that for that moment: plans.

Also, that bit about Yzak's singing abilities is true. Well, at least for his voice actor, Seki Tomokazu.

Thank you for reading and continuing to support this series. For comments and suggestions, please do not hesitate to contact us.