Donatello and the Swede Syndrome
Disclaimer: I OWN THE TMNT! BWAHAHAHAHA! notices angry lawyers, readers and people from Mirage approaching with torches and pitchforks Eh… um… can't you take a joke? I was just kidding, sorry! Really, I… what are you doing with that very pointy and scary object? I said I was sorry! AAAAHHHHRRGGHHHHHH! uses her more or less almighty author powers to vanish in a puff of smoke
This idea came to me when I read the story Amnesia by the author M-T. I can recommend that one.
This story's rated K+ because of swearing, in both Swedish and English.
All Swedish phrases will get a number 1 which will be translated in the end of the chapter. If you don't have the energy to scroll up and down the whole time, why don't you try read through the whole chapter and try 'guessing' what Donny's saying? ;) When you're finished, read the translations. But maybe that little advice won't work for you, in that case, never mind me.
On with the story!
Chapter 1: And so it Begins…
Raph sat in the TV couch, waiting impatiently for Don to fix the television. "Hurry up, Donny! The match starts in ten minutes!"
"I know that, Raph. Strange as it may sound, it's quite hard to forget when you remind me every tenth second. And anyway, it isn't my fault, but Mike's!" answered Don irritated. "He's the one that broke it, not me."
"What?" said Mike innocently. "You always say that you don't get to know anything if you don't experiment a little."
"Sure, but by 'experiment a little' I didn't mean 'investigate what happens when you pour orange juice into the TV, and then add some flour, just for the fun of it'. Especially when I'm the one that has to clean it up. It's gross."
"Okay, I'm sorry," said Mikey. Don didn't really believe him – the reason he said it was probably because Raph had pounced on him and now pinned him to the floor. Mikey gulped. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
Don sighed. "Yeah, come here and keep these wires away from the spots I'm trying to clean."
Raph released Mikey, who went to Donny and took the wires his older brother reached to him. "Right. So, I'll just hold them so that they're not in your way?"
"Exactly. Just don't put them against each other; it might go electricity through them."
"What, you mean like this?"
Blue and white electricity bolts flashed through Donny's body – Raph and Mike could even see his skeleton!
They both rushed forward and fell to their knees beside their purple-clad brother, which now lay motionless on the floor.
"Donny! Don, say somethin'! Please, please don't be dead!" Raph frantically felt Don's wrist, trying to find a pulse. "Mike, get Leo and Splinter! Now!" Mike raised and ran out of the room.
Raph sighed relieved when he felt Donny's pulse, and even got a smile on his face when Don stirred and groaned. "Donny? How do you feel?"
Donny sat up and looked around while grimacing from the pain.
"Var är jag?" (1)
Raph looked at him, confused. "Huh?"
"Jag sa, var är jag?" (2) He turned to Raph and stared at him. "Och vem är du?" (3)
"Um, Don? Are you alright?"
"Var snäll och svara på frågorna, och prata ordentligt. Förresten vet jag inte vem jag själv är. Vet du det?" (4)
Raph stared at his older brother and opened his mouth, but before he got time to say anything, the rest of the family entered the room.
"Donatello!" gasped Splinter. "Are you okay?"
Donny looked at him and his face broke into an astonished smile. "Titta, en jätteråtta. Häftigt!" (5)
Splinter, Mike and Leo stared. "Raph, what happened to him?" asked Leo.
"I dunno! He got all that electricity through his body, and then he started speakin' like this. He didn't seem to recognize me. Either he's playin' a bad joke on us, or somethin' is seriously wrong with that guy!"
"Maybe he is a little dizzy because of the shock," said Splinter. "Let us get him into bed, so that he can get some rest."
They turned to the spot where Don had been, but he wasn't there anymore.
"Where did he go?"
Right then, they heard someone humming in the kitchen. "Så tar man lite köttfärs… och blandar i en gnutta peppar… och så lite salt… salt efter behag… efter behag… efter beha-a-ag!" (6)
When they reached the kitchen, they stared at the sight before them. There was Donny, strutting around wearing their chef's hat and the pink apron that Mikey had gotten Raph for Christmas last year (Of course, Raph had never touched it after he discovered what it was). He was rolling meatballs which he put in the frying pan, and they could see that he'd put some potatoes in a pot on the stove. He noticed them staring. "Jag gör köttbullar med potatis, brunsås och lingonsylt. Det kommer att bli delikat! Konstigt ställe. Bor ni här? Och var sjutton har ni lingonsylten?" (7)
"Now, this is just plain freaky," said Mike, still staring at his second oldest brother.
Raph took a few steps forward, put his hands on Don's shoulders and looked him straight in the eyes. "C'mon Don, snap out of it! And drop that silly what-ever-it-is mumbo jumbo."
Don frowned. "Jag förstår inte." (8)
Then, he spotted a newspaper on the table. The purple-masked turtle rushed forward and picked it up, whereupon he studied a photograph of a man and a woman (both clad in quite fancy clothes) stepping out of a limousine which was decorated with small flags in blue and yellow. The picture caption read: King Carl XVI Gustav and Queen Silvia visited the UN Headquarters during their official visit in the USA.
Donatello's eyes widened and he gasped. He didn't seem to be able to read the words, but apparently he recognized the persons on the picture. "Kungen och drottningen!" (9) He put one hand on his heart and started singing. Unfortunately, Don had no musical talent whatsoever and couldn't sing to save his life. He sounded like a dying cow.
"Du gamla, du fria, du fjällhöga nord, Du tysta, du glädjerika sköna…" (10)
… And that's when Raphael knocked him out. Splinter, Raph, Leo and Mike watched as the purple-clad ninja sank to the floor.
"Now he's restin'," Raph said. Splinter frowned.
"I think I might have a clue about that gibberish he spoke." Leo picked up the newspaper. "He got all weird – well, weirder – when he saw these guys," he pointed to the picture, "so they might have something to do with it. According to the article, they're, like, Swedish royalty or something."
"Are you tryin' to tell us that Donny's gone Scandinavian?" Raphael raised an eye ridge.
"Well, do you have a better idea?"
"Yeah Raph, can't see you coming up with something," agreed Michelangelo.
"We do have some dictionaries from the dump," Splinter said. "Maybe there is something we could use to at least try to understand what Donatello's saying. I think that I have seen a Swedish one… or maybe it was Norwegian or Danish. From what I have heard, those languages are quite similar."
"Maybe he's gone normal from when Raph hit him on the head," Mike said hopefully.
"And maybe not," said Leo. "I'll take a look and see if I can find a dictionary that will suit us, Sensei." He left the kitchen.
Splinter studied his son on the floor and sighed. "Michelangelo, Raphael, take him to his room." The two reptiles bowed, picked up their unconscious brother and carried him out of the kitchen. The rat pinched the space between his eyes – he could feel a headache coming on. This just wasn't one of his days.
Yes, I know it was short. Next chapter will be longer. Now, behold the translations below!
1. Where am I?
2. I said, where am I?
3. And who are you?
4. Please answer my questions, and speak properly. By the way, I don't even know who I am. Do you know that?
5. Look, a giant rat. Cool!
6. So you take some minced meat... and mixes with a little pepper… and some salt… as much salt as you desire… as you desire… as you desi-i-ire!
7. I'm cooking meatballs with potatoes, brown sauce and cowberry jam. It'll taste delicious! Weird place. Do you live here? And where the heck do you keep the cowberry jam?
8. I don't understand.
9. The king and the queen!
10. This is a small part of the national anthem of Sweden, Du gamla Du fria (Thou ancient, Thou free). For a translation, go to http / en . wikipedia . org / wiki / National anthem of Sweden (but leave out the spaces, of course. I put them here becausethis websitedoesn't always seem that friendly to Internet links – sometimes they just disappear.)