Disclaimer: I do not, under any circumstances, own Naruto.


Summary: Uchiha Sasuke did not tolerate fear. " Sasuke… are you lactose intolerant?" Haruno Sakura had asked. Was he really? Or maybe this just one phobia he did not dare talk about?

Lactose Intolerant

By: ang3Lix

Part 1: Knowing!

It was another great morning the gods had bestowed upon the village of Konoha. A bright, cool day and a lively atmosphere engulfing the whole town with mirth.

Everybody loved their mornings.

… Right?


Uhm… no.

Among the numerous apartments that stood side by side in one alleyway, only one window had the signs of breaking away. Apparently, someone's window got busted into little sharp pieces. If you are to look closely, three persons stood right infront of the wooden door. Two were in their young age of fifteen, and one already reached his late twenties.

Team seven had arrived at the Uchiha's front porch.

A cerulean-eyed boy with his hair coming up as spikes left his position at the front porch, and jogged across the street. He lifted a finger and pointed it randomly at the space, as if counting something out of reach.

" 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14… 15!" he counted out loud. He turned his attention to the pink-haired girl that stood on the other side of the street. " Sakura-chan! I blew up the right window!"

Nodding once, she turned to face the still locked door of her teammates apartment. With her brows furrowed and her face twisted into a small frown, she lifted her fist up and banged it several times on the door. After a few "knocks", the wooden surfaces had obtained a few flouting dents. Never did she felt any guilt at the damage she had cause his apartment door.

Well, he started it…

She craned her neck to her side to see her towering sensei holding a book up with one arm, his nose buried into the graying leaves of his porn book. She noticed the crease forming on his piece of clothing, the usual twinkle in his eye intensifying more and more.

She growled.

The pervert was reading a porn book and actually enjoying it. She wanted nothing more but to throw up all the pre-digested contents of her stomach, which was made up of ramen noodles and a glass of orange juice.

" Stop it with your reading, sensei."

The silver-haired man retreated his head a few inches away from the reading material, his head tilting a bit sideways. His face came up with something the girl thought of as a grin.

" Nope!" he chirped happily. Surprisingly, the man stretched out the used hand towards her direction, his porn book coming with it. " Why don't you try it, Sakura-chan?"

The color from the said girl's face drained away, leaving a paler looking Sakura. She sputtered out, " Y-you make me sick!"

Kakashi tried his best to pout. Although it wasn't really visible under his dark mask. " Does that mean you're not reading?"

" OI! GET THAT AWAY FROM SAKURA-CHAN!" someone from Sakura's left roared, violence pumping into the words.

A seething Naruto pointed a finger towards his teacher, which was right on the tip of Kakashi's nose. He still despised the book. He really did. Kakashi had been teasing him all through out his teen years with that horrid pieces of paper called 'Icha Icha paradise'.

A chuckle erupted from the man's throat. " Okay, okay… you guys are just so easy to fool…"

" WE ARE SO NOT!" Naruto shouted out, " I SWEAR, IF YOU—"


All three diverted their attentions from their argument and to the entrance infront of them. The door stood ajar. And what hid beneath it was not someone who's amazingly happy. The boy was upset. No, there's a much fitting term. He was extremely angry. He was dressed only in a pair of dark blue shorts, and a plain white tee shirt that hung loosely on his sturdy frame. And in one curled hand was a rock the size of his fist. He looked ready to shed some blood.

" OI! SASUKE-BASTARD! WHAT TOOK—" Naruto greeted him, but was silenced by a big blow in the head. " OW!"

Sasuke seethed. " You asses!" he said through gritted teeth. " Did you know this rock came flying through my window and nearly hit me on the head? And why the heck are you here!"

" We have something to check up on." Sakura answered, her arms folded across her chest. She frowned at him. It bothered her that he was not a head taller than her. He was barely a mere inch taller than her. And he was supposed to be the tallest among them all.

" Why does it concern me?"

Sakura ignored his question thoroughly, shoved him away from the door and entering the apartment herself. Both Kakashi and Naruto followed her lead. Sasuke growled. He did not like this… intrusion of personal property.

Sasuke finally stomped into the living room after a few minutes. Voices came from the kitchen.

What in the world are these guys up to?

Sasuke trudged into the kitchen, only to find all three of them huddled around his… refrigerator.

" Why are you raiding my refrigerator?" he asked, dead-panned.

He was again ignored. All three of them moved into his cupboards, opening each one and inspecting the contents.

" Why are you raiding my shelves?" he asked once again. He was again, ignored all the way.

Being the arrogant asshole he really was, he did not like being ignored. He was Uchiha Sasuke. He was supposed to be a prodigy. He was supposed to be the best.

Then why are these supreme idiots ignoring him? Was he even existing right now? Was his stash of tomatoes hidden safely behind his numerous chamber pots? What was a chamber pot?

Sakura turned away from the opened cupboard that stood ajar. Sasuke inwardly sighed in relief. At last, some answers…

" What are you guys doing here?"

Sakura strode quite slowly towards the table, running one finger through the plastic surface. She unexpectedly frowned.

" Sasuke," Sakura began, snapping her head up to meet him in a suspicious glare, " Do you notice something about yourself lately?"

Sasuke growled. Was this all about his physical aspects? He was tired of everybody telling him that he was such a good-looking boy.

" If this is about me being the most handsome--."

" DO NOT BE A B-toot!-RD, YOU A-toot!-LE."

Sakura flushed bright red, anger pulsing through her every vein. Him bringing back certain memories from their childhood days was not a great idea. Sakura was ecstatic over the fact that she finally decided that Uchiha Sasuke amounted to nothing at all. It was never a happy day for you once a single utterance of those certain things slip out of your mouth.

Knowing that he was merely avoiding the subject, Sakura scowled deeply. " Naruto," she commanded, without even looking back at the blond, " Stand beside Uchiha gay- I mean, boy, will you?"

The said boy jumped down from the table he was sitting on, then marched to where Sasuke was standing, petrified at the girl's slip of words.

Though it may be quite unbelievable, the Uchiha's mind was swirled with confusion. Add the fact that Naruto was trying to stare him down with his eyes that were now merely slits.

Wait a minute… down… Oh God.

Sakura took a step forward, " Now, Sasuke. Do you notice something… I don't know… maybe a little different?" she grounded out, her voice raising a notch.

The said teen felt his back stiffen. Fixing back his usual glare, he answered, " No."

Sakura was certain her thin bands of patience was slowly wearing thin. " No? How about maybe a little unusual!"

Huffing out, Sasuke folded his arms across his chest. " NO."

" Sasuke-bastard, I thought you were the smart one!" Naruto scolded, " Sakura-chan was simply pointing out that—"

" You're too SHORT." Kakashi chirped calmly, his one visibly eye crinkling into a cheesy grin.

Uchiha Sasuke knew all too well that aside from getting goring nightmares of his entire clan being murdered, he would also be haunted by those three words that smashed his gargantuan ego.

Ooh, I like that word.



" AND NONE IN YOUR CUPBOARD!" interjected Naruto.

" Yes, Naruto, you're right—"

" HA! I RULE!"

" Okay, shut up now."

" Okay."

" Not one carton of milk everywhere, no wonder you're so short—"


" Then why is Naruto staring down at you?"

" He's standing on a stool right now, Sakura."

" Naruto, get off! Okay, even without the stool, he's still taller than you. Heck, even I'm taller than you! AND I'M A FRICKING GIRL!"

" That's not true."

" It's true." Interjected Kakashi, still reading his orange book.

" SEE? Even Kakashi-sensei thinks so."

" Kakashi doesn't even have a pair of normal eyes, how can he tell I'm short! Okay, just stop. This is not going anywhere. So what if there's no milk in my apartment, it's not like as if I'm afraid of drinking milk or anything—"

Sakura seriously took that as an answer. " Are you?"

" Are you?" Naruto asked.

" You are?" Kakashi chirped.

They waited for an answer

" NO." Sasuke firmly said.

" HA! Yeah right." Sakura snorted.

" LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE!" Naruto screeched.

" The truth shall set you free, sasuke." Kakashi reminded.





And that was chapter one of lactose intolerant, which was titled: KNOWING! Tune in for the next installments. This is gonna be short. Thank you for reading! Enjoy y'all! ang3Lix.