Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts as SQUARE ENIX, Disney Co. and Tetsuya Nomura owns it. If only I could get my hands over the game, (which I already have, since I can touch and play it) I would definitely go witty. XD

Author's Personnel Note: Glad you can make it to read my story. Enjoy!


Waft: Man... Writing makes me hungry... Food anyone?

All: Yeah!!

Waft droves them to McDonald... They went into the fast – food restaurant to have a seat... Waft goes to the counter.

Waft: (not looking at the person in charge but instead, looking at her wallet to see how much money she has...) Ellow, I wanna make an order please... I'll have two extra large cheeseburger for those two skinny sturdy boys, fish fillet for the young girl, a chicken rice soup for me, and ooh, in addition, nuggets and French fries for the four of us… And four diet coke to go with...

Sora: …….. (stares)

Waft: Hurry up please, we have a fic to catch on…

Sora: ….. HELLO?!! Are you blind or somethin'? This is ME, SORA! Why are you asking me for those foods?

Waft: (looks up) Oh! It's you... Hey wait a sec! O.o! What are you doing there?? Get off the counter! I thought you're Ronald's statue order pick-up!

Sora: O.O! How do I get to look like Ronald?

Waft: Oye! (slaps forehead) It's the baggy pants… Must have miss looked it… (grins)

Sora: Hey!! It's not even yellow you moron!

Waft: Well then, it must be your shoes… They're too big… They do look like Ronald's…

Sora: WHAT!! (frowns) Why I oughta-!!

Kairi: Stop you two! Now don't debase us in public!!

Sora: I don't care!! She mocks me first!! Hiyaargh!! (chases Waft with keyblade)

Waft: Hey, wait, STOP! Arghh!! I didn't mean it!! Help!! XO!

Riku: Now that somethin' new we don't get to see in Kingdom Hearts…(snicker)

Kairi: (sweatdrop) Riku...

Riku: (sigh) Those two are like cats and dogs... Can't stay put at any time at all! Well on with the fic now. I'm gonna take the orders for them...


Chapter 4: Bottoms Up!

Aerith is busy cooking some soup while Tifa is chopping some veggies with her bare clean hands.

" O.O! Whoa, that girl is pretty tough! For her age… Hmm..." uttered Sephy to himself about Tifa.

"She really looks suitable for me..." the words echoed from his lips though unfamiliar to his character.


On the other hand, Yuffie is laying the table as fast as any ninja could do. Cloud and Leon were bringing out the goods and drinks. Sephy who is sitting on a log, turn his face to the boys, looking at them gallingly. He still feels angry at Leon and Cid's stance in satirizing him about the 'hula-skirt' girls. Then the two suddenly gawks at him back.

"What are you two dumb headed looking at??" he thought.

"Hey, Seph! Hula-hula! Kissy-kiss! Mm-muahcks! Ha-ha!" said Leon hassling him.

"What the-??! Grr..!!"

"Budala… Budaley…! Sephy got caught uneasy! Thought there were Hawaiian girls, but instead he got all silly! Hahahahahs!" sang Cid chanting happily as he shakes himself like dancing throwing basket of flowers around him.

"Those assholes!!!" thought Sephy about them.

"Enough you two! Stop messing around with Seph already! We have major things to do!"

"Oh, fine... Since you insist madam," the both answered.

And Seph gave a grin. A happy smile it is, with some relief… He was pleased.

"Thank You... Tifa, my savior..." the words expressed from his mouth softly, unknowing to himself.


'Sephy is having a crusshhh…! Sephy is having a crusshhh….! ' The thought raced in his mind like a happy kid repeating the words in a rhythmic tone while cycling a bike around a tree... Well the tree is Sephiroth… And the kid was Tifa, giggling along her words... Sephiroth felt cheerful. His eyes enlarge with a beam. A smile carved on his lips and-..


"The Fu-k?! What was that??! The heck am I thinking anyway?!! What's going on to me?? My notion isn't straight!!" said Sephy to himself. He shook his head in bewilderment and tried not to look or think about Tifa for a while.

Cid in contrast is doing his own works. They don't even know what is he really up to, coz they didn't ask the geezer to do works as they respect him as an elder, guy. Suppose the 'elder' has his on intentions too.

"Hey Seph," said Cid suddenly as he make a face to face with Sephiroth.

"What? What do you want now? Can't you just leave me in peace?!"

"Why don't you come and help me out, instead of sitting there looking exasperatingly, as if you are gonna fuck 'em out."

"What?? This old stool has laser like sharp mouth- and... and... callous tongue!! Why would he even think like that?! Damn you old man!!" thought Sephy as he harrumph crossly.

"Oh, come on! Don't be such a hardheaded guy. You're not really thinking that right?" Cid continues as he gave a pat at Sephy's back.

"No… I'm not…! And stop patting me like a pet!!" said Sephy irritated and a lil' hesitate about it. Maybe he was, afterthinking what they do to them.God forbid!

"Then, don't just let your ass park yourself on the log! Help yourself with this spatula instead…"

"Argh! The nerve!! Will someone just zip it this old man??" said Sephy murmuring like mad.

"You were saying…?? I heard that..." asked Cid with a defiant stare.

"Uhh... Nothing!! You're daydreaming. Seriously old pal!! I was just saying- …wait. Wait a minute! What? Spatula? What are you up to anyway?" asked Sephy shockingly.

"I'm gonna do some Big Ben old style cookin'... Mind to endeavor?"

"Cooking huh? Well I guess that's fine by me... Old Seph haven't cook for a while though…" said Sephy lubberly, trying to please him and making Cid forget about the word he just spit out towards him.

At that point, Sephy reluctantly joins the contented Cid at his work.

Meanwhile, at Aerith and Tifa's, the girls had conversations too. Yuffie tags along in the chat. For some reasons, the ninja girl feels like having some girly consultation.

"Hey, Aerith! You're really good at cooking! (Besides your weird taste of making drinks and lemonade's of course…) Where did you learn all this things?"

"Well... It was nothing really... My late mom taught me…" said Aerith willowy to Yuffie with a smile carving at her mouth.

"Drinks too??"

"Nope, I figure that myself."

"No wonder it tasted odd…"

"Yeah... Every girl should learn how to cook right? Or else they'll loose their gorgeous…" Tifa added as she giggled.

Yuffie went to Tifa to have a look at her cooking. She snorted a little, looking at the food she's preparing. It was all black and a slight burnt smell was in the air. Yuffie coughs a little and gave a big grin. Her hands, holding her cheeks and followed by a very funny ogle on her face, she gave Tifa quite a scare.

"Yeah, you should... You're reaaaaally gonna need it if you want to win their hearts!" said Yuffie deriding.

"Why are you being so MrGreen-ny? Stop looking at me like that! We have works to do!" scoffs Tifa.

"Hmm…What are ya cooking anyway?"

"Uh…, it's- um….."


"….. Non of your concern!! It's a secret of my family! Go away and do your job Yuffie Kisaragi!"

"Hehe! Oookay. I'll leave you with yer cooking. Good luck!" answered Yuffie with a smile.

Tifa knows that her cooking skills are awfully bad, but she just can't admit it. Instead, she forces people to eat them. Well she did try her best to please everyone, including herself. But, it just never did!

Yuffie chuckled a little and quickly sustained her job. Aerith also gave a soft laugh hearing that. She also thinks that Tifa need to study more about cookery.

"Hmm... Talking about food preparation... Did you gurls happen to see my fish that I was going to use for the soup? I really need it now…" asked Aerith suddenly.

"Huh? Even the fish went on missing?! I wonder who's been rummaging around our table work??" said Tifa.

"Yeah, me too! I thought, I've just put a plate of onigiri's here just now, but it's gone!" said Yuffie.

"It's okay. Let's us help you find it. I think I can smell the goon that's been trespassing this place."

"Oh, kindly thank you to both of you! And do please hurry before the others arrive!" Aerith smiled.

They both nodded. As the girls were busy 'hunting' for the fish, the boys scent something good. Leon is getting his skin tanned with Cloud next to him at the moment.

"Mmm... That's a really good aroma! Ahh... I can't wait to eat! I wonder who's making the cuisine?" said Leon to Cloud, sniffing.

"Em... That could only be Aerith. Tifa can't even possibly fry an egg…"

"Yes... Probably. But Aerith scares me sometimes when she makes her drinks. I rather not take it if she's doing it for the party. Last time I drank the lemonade just trying to please her, I ended up in bed like two months with going in and out of the toilet non stop… Too much lemon and salt I suppose. That's what the doctor says."

"DYeah, I can't help it either. But I still remember the time Tifa make us eat the rations she's making. Urgghh…!! It gives me the creeps..."

"Dowh… Why should ya tell…? I'm already shaking from head to feet… Brrr…"

The boys shook their heads thinking about it. It does give them the death feeling to their stomach. They shivered and felt nauseous. They look like they're about to puke.

"We're gonna need an anti-Tifa repellent when she solicits us to eat her cooking later…" said Cloud with a simper.

"Yeah, with non-Aerith juice maker too," guffawed Leon.

"Yes, that should do it..." said Cloud agrees.

They both burst to hilarity…

"I always wonder, how you can love Tifa at the first place?" asked Leon as he still gurgles.

"Recap... It was her who falls to me. Not in reverse... I don't quite fond ofher these days…"

"Eh? Of all the sudden, you don't? Is that so? And why is that?" asked Leon as he pushes his sunglasses upwards.

"See these marks?" Cloud showed his back and chest that is full with bruises.

"Oh, are those clouts you get from fighting the heartless?

"I wish… No it's not..."

"Then, what is it? Practice field?"

"No… (sigh) Tifa…" denied Cloud again as he sigh heavily.

"Tifa? Ooo… What, you've been fighting with her?" wondered Leon.

"Yes, Tifa... We've already broken up… For some reason, she's been mad at me these days. She said I'm not like me before, anymore… What does that have to do with me now??"

"Really? I guess she's right."

"What…, now you're on her side now?! Great. Just great!"

"I tell you what. It's because you've been busy with fighting, works and training, you forgot to even say hello to her. No wonder she's sulking from you!"

"Oh… I guess you're right. I haven't thought of that. She must've been really annoyed and fed up with me. Man, where are my manners."

"Well, you can always try slow talk with her, explain and stuff. I'm sure she'll understand. I think he cares you more than you do Cloud."

"Yeah. I suppose so. But I'm not gonna win her heart back just by losing to her saying sorry! What will my ego say…"

"Hmph. You and your ego. No wonder she always says you keep on drifting, drifting and drifting… Well, for a drifter, you sure seem to have a plan. Tell me. What is it?"

"It's like this….." and Cloud started to explain the plan with Leon secretly.

"Em, sounds interesting! It just my work! "

"A few of our friends have joined to help. Can you too Leon?"

"You can count on me! But one thing is…"


"Those clouts you get from Tifa… It suits with yer name. Cloud… clout… cloud… clout… cloud… clout! Heheh… Serves you right."

"Psch. I don't marvel that…"

"Cloud, clout, cloud, clout, cloud, clout… Hrmm, it really rhymes! I can do this like forever! Clout, cloud, clout, cloud, clout, cloud…" said Leon as he says the words even faster.

"Okay, stop! I won't turn into Cloud9 (a brand name for some chocolate) even if you say it nine times! Sheesh."

Again, they both laugh out loud. Cid and Sephiroth were startled by their chortle.

"Hmph! Those imbeciles! Makes me jump like a pogo stick! Even this dead fish could live again hearing their shocking cackle!" yelled Cid suddenly.

"Yes, those lazy bums... Just having fun by chitchatting all day long... They do so little work…" answered Sephiroth as he pokes the meat on the stove lazily.

"Hmph. Let them be. We veterans need to learn more then those wimps. Let's finish our cooking lesson shall we?"

"They maybe scalawags, but at least their jobs are done! On second thought, I guess I'd rather join them! And excuse me, Mr. Know-it-all Cid! I'm not a veteran like you! Far from like you! I may have white silvery hair and look like an aged youngster, but I'm not that old! I'm the same age as Cloud, remember?? I'm half of him! And Lord! Please send me an angel to get outta here! I really gotta do something before this old freak makes me wear that stupid 'kiss the fucking cook' apron! I'm not a 'seducing chef' for god sakes! OO! I'm a fighter!" shriek Sephy in his head.

"Hey, what's with the stern look on the face? Been taking hard about cookery huh? Don't worry. You'll learn fast."

"Huh-? Oh-oh yes! Yes! Right. Screw you old macho!"

Sephy tries to sneak away as silently as he can. His eyes are widened and attach to Cid, which is humming a tune happily as he cooks. Cid is distracted with his cooking's, maybe this is the way out! He closes his eyes and hurriedly turns his head back to the front with reprieve. He was about to open his eyes back, then...

"EN GARDE!! And where do you think you're going? Had enough cooking aren't ya? So, you weren't paying attention did you??" said Cid suddenly to Sephiroth with a swordfish pointing at his chest.

"EEEEEEEKKK!! O.O! WTFISH!" shouted Sephiroth scandalously.

"HAHAHAH!! XD! You yelp like a girl Seph! Made ya squee...eaalll!"

"AARRGGHH!! XO!! Damn you old man!! Damnit..damnit..damnit..damnit!!!"

"Angard? Or 'on guard'?" asked Tifa who walks by. "Cid, what are you doing with the fish? I knew it! No wonder it's been missing! Stop playing with it!"

"What?! Use yer own bait lady! This one's mine!"

"Cid, give it back! Aerith needs to use it!" forces Tifa as she tries to snatch the fish.

"Hak! Miss ME! Not A CHANCE!" said Cid as he runs away.

"Grr!! I'll get you no matter what!"

"O,O! GOD! Thank you for sending me an angel!" Seph prayed. "Great! Now Tifa's distracting Cid, I'm no longer stuck with that pervert old man!" said Sephiroth as he flew away to Cloud and Leon.

Flap. Flap. Flap.

The chase ends when Cid finally gave up the fish. Sephy on the other hand went for a yak with the other two, while Cid finishes his cooking with a glum face, wearing the apron. He was kinda frustrated that he didn't get to use the fish. So he ate the onigiri's.

After a few hours, they've done with their cooking. At the moment they were preparing the meal on the table, and then suddenly, Aerith saw a glitter on the sky. She wondered, as it doesn't seem to be clear to her eyesight. She stares so hard, she knocked the hot pot on the stove. It swayed and swayed around, without Aerith's notice. Tifa who is beside her, was bending over to get a fallen potato from the table. And unfortunately, the soup in the pot fell directionally to her…. ass. Then there was a scream…

"AAARRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!! Hot! Hot! Hot! HOTTTT!!" yelled Tifa as she rolls on the sandy beach floor.

"Oh my GOD! Tifa!!" Aerith eyes widened.

" My BUTT!! Are you trying to kill me Aerith?!!"

"Oh, I'm really sorry Tifa! I-"

"What's going on here? Why are you scared Aerith? Who made you cried?" asks Cloud as he runs towards them with Leon and the others.

"Oh Cloud! It was me, shouting!! Look what happens to me! It hurts!!" shouted Tifa showing her butt to him.

"Yeargh... What happened to you?" asked Leon.

"Oh dearest! Just look at you! Let me heal you..."

"Hey, let me go! Cloud is supposed to help me! Not YOU!!" said Tifa in rage as she pushes Sephiroth away who was holding her up. She threw Sephiroth to the side.

"Oooff!! Hey! I was just tryin' to-"

"Relax Tifa! Seph is going to heal you with an antidote! Besides, you'll loose your back if you waited for me. I don't bring any, and we don't have the time to go to hospitals. You don't wanna ruin the party right?," said Cloud cutting Seph's words.

"WHAT?! My lovely butt will putrefy?? NO!! Do it now Seph! DO IT!!"

"As you wish milady…" Seph pours the antidote on her bums.

The wound makes an sshhh sound as if it was some kind of chemical that stains her flesh. Tifa felt better after so.

"I wish Donald was here, so we can use his curaga instead! I'm sooo sorry Tifa!" said Aerith sorry.

"It's okay. As long her ass won't rot, that'll do first," said Cloud flat.

Tifa scoffs with his words.

"Suit yerself Tifa. That's what you get for stealing my fish! If you asked me with courtesy, then maybe this won't happen. Why aren't you paying attentions to your cooking anyway?" said Cid suddenly.

"What?! Hey it was Aerith's fault the pot got swayed! Not me!! Besides, the fish is ours!!"

"Hey, don't blame others for your guilt's... Come on Aerith, leave her to heal..." said Cloud again.

"B-but.. Tifa?"

"Let her butt be…!! Come."

Everyone gawk at the moment they left. It was really weird for Cloud to do so.

"(sob.. sob..) How could you Aerith!! Cloud is mine!!"

"Awhh... Tifa milady. Don't worry. I'll be your new mate." said Sephiroth with a beam and raising his eyebrows repeatedly.

"GET A LIFE, LOSER!" shouted Tifa as she gave him a slap on his face. She then ran away to the sea to calm herself.

Sephy's face went red. He then flew away to the other edge or side of the beach.

Flap. Flap. Flap.

Leon and Yuffie blink and look at each other. Yuffie shrugged and grin a lil' as she went away. Leon just kept silence and does his duty. That time, the place was quite frozen. Everyone was heated. Well, most of them..

End of chapter 4


Waft: I beg you, please! I'm no heartless!

Sora: (pointing the keyblade) But you are heartless, saying that I'm a Ronald geek! So, be gone you!

Kairi: Sora, stop! If she's gone, then the fic will die as well. Then, were no longer here..

Riku: Yeah, you don't get to eat your favorite cheeseburger.. (grins)

Sora: OH NYOOOOOO!! O.O (slaps face with both hands)

Riku: It's already predictable... I knew he fall for that... (snickers) What a dope...

Waft: Please! I'll buy you another three of them! (puppy face attack)

Sora: (gasp!) O.o? Three? What a lucky day! Okay then, I'll spare you for now, but remember your promise!

Waft: Yeah.. Surrreee.. (grins) Cross your throat, and hope you choke! XP

Kairi: (sigh) Whatever you guys… Where is the order? I'm starving.

Narrator: What is going on? Is it really an alien scum fall from the sky? Will Aerith be able to cook the fish? Where did Sora and his friends go? All this in the fic of Spectacular Summer WAR of the fangirls! Stay tune for the revealing of Yuffie's TRUE love and Riku's chaos in next fic of Frantic-Fan girls!

Author: Thank you for reading.. I know I made a very long blooper, so I'm really, really, really, really, SORRY!! It's just my natural way! I really gotta fix this bad habit of mine… Again, I'm really, really, really, really (I may say this a thousand times actually), really SORRY for updating SOOO late… I had tons of works to do at home... Yeah, actually I was loitering and snoring in bed... Ugh... I really gotta stop with these 'really' word… And I would like to have helpful reviews! Again, I ask you a thousand apologies about the bloopers... C ya! "