Disclaimer: I do not own Azumanga Daioh.

(AN: came to me when I couldn't sleep last night. Inspired by a random conversation I had with my friend Megan a while back.)

Cheese Candles
By Silver Sailor Ganymede

"Alright!" Kagura cheered as she took out her lunch.

"What're you so happy about?" Yomi asked.

"This" Kagura replied, taking a slice of pizza out of her lunch box and showing it to Yomi, Tomo and Osaka, all of whom were sitting with her that lunchtime. Osaka was busy trying to split a pair of chopsticks evenly, and failing; she was on her fourth packet already.

"We had pizza for dinner last night," Kagura smiled, "so I get to finish it off. And this thing came with extra cheese too."

"Lucky," mumbled Yomi, who was skipping lunch because of her newest diet.

"Hehe, cheese," Tomo laughed, "that reminds me of last Saturday."

"What about it?" Kagura asked, shovelling the first slice of pizza into her mouth.

"Well I was on the phone to Yomi and…"

"You do know by telling her this you'll seem like even more of an idiot than you already are?"

"Yeah, and? Kagura's a knucklehead too so it doesn't matter."

"I resent that comment," Kagura snapped.

"Well it's true," Tomo replied. "Now if you'd stop interrupting me I'll tell you what happened."

"Are you sure you want to know?" Yomi asked Kagura.

"Of course she wants to know," Tomo laughed. "Besides, even I think its funny."

"That's why I'm worried" Kagura mumbled.

"If you'd all shut up and let me say what I'm going to say."

"Well you keep interrupting yourself more than anything," Yomi pointed out.

"Yeah, well, whatever," Tomo shrugged. "Anyway, I was on the phone to Yomi on Saturday and I was in the living room. Then I saw this thing on top of the mantlepiece that looked like a piece of cheese."

"What was a piece of cheese be doing on your mantlepiece?" Kagura asked.

"I dunno, I just thought it was cheese. So I picked it up and took a bite out of it."

"Even though it had been lying around in the living room?" Kagura asked.

"Yup," Tomo replied. "And it turns out that it wasn't even a piece of cheese; it was a candle."

"What?" Kagura asked. "So you ate a bit of a candle because you thought it was a piece of cheese?"

Tomo nodded, Kagura sweatdropped.

"And now you see what kind of an idiot I've had to put up with all the way through school," Yomi said to Kagura.

Suddenly Osaka, who had been quiet since the beginning of lunch, cried "Europa!"

"What?" Kagura asked, confised.

"I think she meant Eureaka," Yomi said. "Anyway, what are you on about now Osaka?"

"Eur… Eureaka," Osaka grinned, proudly holding aloft a pair of cleanly split chopsticks. Besides her the mound of uneven chopsticks was threatning to tip the desk over.

Tomo clapped, Kagura laughed and Yomi hit her head on the desk in utter dispear.

"Why am I the only sane person left on this planet?"

"But Yomi, if we're all insane then you must be sane. Majority rule. Or something," Tomo grinned with an unusual amount of logic.

"Why do I even bother?" Yomi sighed, hitting her head on the desk again.