I don't own Naruto… this is merely a one-shot, or if I get at least 30 or more reviews one it, perhaps a series…
He looked inside the office of the Hokage, checking to see if she was there, he wanted to ask her for help with a problem he had. He'd seen that there were some people who were just happy with each other and on the prompting of Ero-sennin he had reluctantly made the conclusion that he needed some female company in his life. The fact that there wouldn't be any time to make sure that he got a date before a mission made it imperative to ask someone's advice of maybe taking someone out on a date and perhaps doing something more.
He watched as the Hokage was asleep at the moment, her hair lying on the desk in slight disorder, making her look like some sleeping princess, which was coincidentally also one of the names she had as it was Tsunade-hime to a lot of people, including Jiraiya.
His voice came close to her ear and she opened one eye, looking at his whispered face, making sure that she would be awake immediately.
"What do you want brat? If its about wanting to learn some stupid new jutsu, then you're outta luck because being a Hokage is a busy job and I don't have time to waste on teaching you something… you got Jiraiya-hentai for that…"
She grumbled about something and a small red stain began to grow on Naruto's cheeks. He scratched the back of his head and sighed. Now was the time to speak and ask her if she could give him some tips on dating.
" I only wanted to ask you something… Can we talk somewhere in private?" He looked around, trying to spot any of the ANBU that would probably guard the Hokage, but found none.
"Here is fine with me… no ANBU would dare interrupt me when I'm in this room since they'd probably exit out of the wall by my punch whenever they intrude without being called… What did you want to ask me?"
She asked, being able to handle almost any question that he possible could give her, and maybe coax some good blackmail material out of him…
"Could you tell me how to behave on a date with a girl? You are the first one I thought of to ask it, since Ero-sennin would focus more on his hentai activities than giving tips about how to do something with a girl…"
She listened as he rambled on for a bit and then said, after he had finished with a long speech which could have been enveloped with one question: teach me how to date.
"I'll teach you myself then… I will teach you everything about how to behave on a date or else I'll be teaching you some of my prized Taijutsu moves for the rest of the weeks."
She gave a thumbs up, something which she apparently had picked up from Gai since he seemed to do it so much and it seemed appropriate in this setting.
His eyes glistened with unshed tears and he said. "Really? You'd do that for me?"
She grinned and said. "Sure… I'm the Hokage so if I decide to teach someone I consider to be a precious person to me something about social life then I'm actually pretty sure that nobody would interrupt me… maybe Shizune would but I can handle her just fine…"
She sighed, thinking back to a date which had gone wrong at one time when Dan had asked her out the first time. It had ended with her getting wet in the rain and him getting a fist shoved up in his face for gawking at her impressive bust.
"Give me ten minutes to get ready and I'll teach you all about dating and other things… It would be best if we just pretended to have a date and I'll teach you at a nice restaurant that I know… And please dress in something nice… Get rid of the orange in your clothes for me please… I'll expect you back in ten minutes."
She grinned and then watched as he was gone in a flash, presumably to dress himself for the occasion.
She appeared out of her private sitting room for important guests which sometimes also dubbed as her private bedroom if she were too tired, dressed in a black dress which had mostly kunai concealed underneath it. She'd used henge to transform herself into what she looked like when she was a sixteen year old girl. The only thing that she hadn't wanted to change was her bust since it would be a bit troublesome if she kept bumping into things while the henge would give her smaller breast then they were in reality…
He appeared three minutes later, dressed in some black fancy clothing which made his figure really show off to the general public.
(He'll be a heartbreaker if he keeps wearing those…)
She couldn't help but think that and mentally slapped herself for even thinking sabout such things while she was looking at him.
"Do you like this? And please address me as Tsu-chan while I'm like this… it's only special people who get to call me that and I'm doing this especially for you…"
She paused, gauging his reaction.. He was looking at her, a small bit of blood coming out of his nose as he was captivated by her huge breasts.
"My eyes are up here… First lesson: Never stare at a girls breasts when you look at them, they'll instantly dislike you if you do."
She repressed the urge to smugly smile as he looked at her with revulsion in his eyes.
"Follow me… Did you bring your wallet?"
She asked and he nodded. She led him towards the restaurant which usually served a rather nice selection of foods. First of all she would need to get him off the ramen and have him eat something else then that. It was appalling to see him eat that junk food all the time and she was about to correct that.
Naruto acted like a gentleman, at least he tried to and ended up making sure that Tsunade was comfortable in her seat. They ordered some rice as a small appetiser and she started on the lesson.
"Now that you've helped your date sit down, you'll want to start a conversation with her about something to get her to like you even more then she already does. In the case you are dating a civilian; you should stick to ordinary things like the weather and perhaps some small things about your Shinobi career and some small details about a mission. If you are dating a kunoichi, like you are with me you'd want to keep the conversation strictly about Shinobi things and maybe some small things about the weather. In both cases, it is best to do the exact opposite of what you would talk to the other rank. To kunoichi, focus on shinobi stuff, to civilians, focus on the all-day things, something that interests them in you."
She took a few breaths to see him taking some notes in a small notebook and she grinned as she could see a concentrated look on his face.
"Tsu-chan, can I practise on you for a bit? You are a kunoichi, so I should talk to you about some shinobi stuff…"
She nodded and then said. "Of course. If I were an unknown person to you, I would just ask you what rank you were and who you were…"
Naruto cheerfully smiled and said. "Alright… The name is Uzumaki Naruto and the rank is Genin. And what's your name?"
He tried to ask in his most Jiraiya-esque voice and she giggled as it sounded like he were some sort of Casanova in training.
"Houou Tsunade, Kage ranked shinobi and all-around hottie, if I may so prudent to say. Pleased to meet you, Naruto-kun." She looked and grinned, looking all like a sixteen year old girl who was just having a bit of fun.
"Have you gotten any nice missions, as of late?"
His next question was something that made her pause for a bit and think.
"Nothing other then finishing huge mountains of boring paperwork, I'm afraid… How about you? Have you done anything interesting on a mission?"
The rice arrived and Tsunade prevented Naruto from ordering ramen, giving him the command to order something else. Reluctantly he selected an exotic dish which was made out of some rice which was covered in sweet sauce, decorated with some strange herbs and some vegetables and with meat being on the side. Tsunade simply ordered some sake and the same dish like Naruto's which seemed to be the house specialty.
"Yeah, there was a mission which was rather interesting. It taught me a lot so I'm pretty sure that it would interest you. There was this old man that we needed to guard and he was under threat from an A-ranked Nukenin names Momochi Zabuza. Kakashi-sensei fought with him but the guy was disabled by his apprentice who told Kakashi-sensei that he was some sort of Oinin from Kirigakure…"
Naruto told the entire tale of his first C rank mission to her and she smiled and ate a little bit.
"My first C ranked mission was to protect some wealthy merchant through Earth Country. Orochimaru in the end managed to convince the merchant to give us an extra tip."
She looked at him and he looked at her, fascination visible on his face. "Really interesting Tsu-chan."
"The next lesson will be to eat your food with some grace and not gulp it down like some rabid beast, something which you are used to doing… Try and use your chopsticks to bring it to your mouth and then chew slowly…"
She watched how he tried to do that and she giggled as he got some of the rice on his cheek. She felt like a sixteen year old and even acted like it, something which she never thought she could do again. He truly was bringing back the teenaged girl in her as she could feel herself thinking about if he had been born some 25 years earlier, then they could have had a relationship…
"Sometimes, couples will feed their date… but only if they are close, Naruto-kun. Allow me to do that…"
She didn't wait for his answer and just grabbed a small piece of rice with her chopsticks and then brought it to his mouth and he opened it and ate it. He got the idea quickly and they took turns feeding each other.
Unknown to them, they were being watched as Sarutobi Asuma and Yuuhi Kurenai had chosen this restaurant to celebrate some sort of Jounin sensei meeting and they watched the 'cute couple consisting of the gorgeous girl and the Kyuubi no Kitsune's container' feed each other. Kakashi was at the moment busy with staring as his student apparently was putting the moves on that girl who looked so much like that huge busty model that had been on the cover of Icha Icha Paradise last month. All three Jounin gave their full attention to the couple.
"Do you think they've been seeing each other for some time, Kurenai?"
The chainsmoking Asuma said. A cigarette was dangling out of a corner of his mouth and Kurenai gave him a displeased frown and said.
"No, the Uzumaki kid wasn't much of a guy to date if I was correct in my assumptions... Although he seems to have mellowed out a bit…"
She kept silent about the fact that Hinata still liked him, as she was curious as to how this date would go. Seeing some guy dating this hot girl and not having a reputation as desirable made her inner curiosity peak and she resolved to just observe them.
(He really knows how to feed a lad… I don't think that Dan could have done it better then he has. He really has potential to become a great guy if he would just wear the black clothes all day… hell if nobody wants him then I'd have a try at him, he's too good to let walk away!)
She grinned to herself as he let the chopsticks come near her mouth once again and she took the rice off it, moving her lips in such a way that it could be considered erotic, due to the fullness of her lips. To many she was a sex symbol, knowing about all the perverted guys who jerked off to her image, having no doubt that the boy who was feeding her was one of those that wouldn't do anything with such a picture, except putting it in a frame and then putting it somewhere in view. He was amazing for the fact that he still made the effort to remain semi-boyish while his body aged. He may have gained some small maturity but if he matures even further, then he'd be a Jiraiya with women, but then in the romantical sense, being able to score every night without any trouble…
"The next thing you are to do after you've eaten dinner and maybe have fed your date, is to make sure that there will be something special planned, maybe go see some sights and give her a small gift should be in order to gain more appreciation from your date.
"She watched as he became cheerful and said. "Ero-sennin said that people kiss on dates too? Will that be in the lessons or is it simply one of his perverted plans?"
Said pervert was looking at his student, seeing him in a fancy and good restaurant with a blonde girl he hadn't seen before.
(Probably some girl that he picked up somewhere, I'm so glad that he's finally getting out on dates like I instructed him to do…)
The old pervert was thinking about some erotic things the moment he had seen Tsunade's chest and inwardly he grinned that his student would finally get laid. He continued to spy as the couple paid for the dinner, Naruto paying with his frog wallet ending up a bit thinner then before.
"Let's go to the park, Tsu-chan. You'll love it there…"
He began to lead her there, her reaction being some giggles and allowing herself to be led there, knowing that it wasn't such a bad idea…
They came to the park, a place where they could see the moon in the sky, it being only a small sickle instead of being full. The stars were blinking still, making it look romantic to them, making Tsunade's memory of a similar date wash up in her mind. She and Dan had made love on one of the benches, coincidentally the one where Naruto was leading her now. She smiled at Naruto and allowed him to dust off her place first before she took a seat.
The Three Jounin and the Sennin were watching the couple as they sat on the bench, chatting with each other about some fluffy stuff. None of them could hear what was being said, allowing the boy to have some privacy but nonetheless keeping a careful eye on the proceedings.
"So your first kiss was with a guy?" She giggled as she could see him already kissing the brooding kid she had seen a few times before he defected to Otogakure. "Well then I shall teach you how to kiss. The lesson will be about a theoretical part and a practical part, in which you kiss me… don't worry too much about it, it's strictly a teacher-student thing…" She mumbled the last part and he heard a bit. "Kissing is done by people who share affection for each other, be it of a familial kind or a romantic kind. It is done by pressing your lips to someone's lips or to someone's cheek, like I will demonstrate."
She bowed forwards and gave him a kiss on the lips, making his eyes widen quite a bit as she wrapped her hands around him, pressing her bust against his chest, making it seem like a lovers embrace which made the female Jounin sigh as she could see the romantic setting and wanted some love in her life…
The kiss was something great to him. He could feel her lips against his, making contact with his lips and making a feeling well up within his body, making him feel like he was floating on air. He loved her, and she knew that. Not in the romantic sense, per se but he loved her with his heart. If only she wasn't so old that she had to hide her true visage under a complex genjutsu he would have snatched the chance to get her.
Her body seemed to shiver once and she broke the kiss. "How did it feel, Naruto-kun? Do you think you can kiss me?"
She asked and he responded immediately by kissing her on her mouth, wrapping his hands around her, letting one slide towards her ass on instinct and he could feel her beginning to deepen the kiss, a tongue slipping into his mouth.
His body acted on instinct, beginning to lash out with his own tongue to tease the girl he was holding, no matter to her own physical reaction. His body was already reacting to the kiss, images swirling in his mind as he could feel her breasts pressing against him.
(This feels too good with Tsu-chan… I think I really should stop before we do anything foolish… it is as if I can sense her thoughts when I kissed her… that's never happened before… although I have to admit that feeling her thoughts turn into those of Ero-sennin's fantasies with her and me in the lead roles are nice… but it should really stop now before she looses the Hokage title due to sleeping with a minor, something which I still am.)
He broke the kiss and she moaned for more, not wanting the feeling of peacefulness to go away.
(It's really exciting to kiss him. If only I were 30 years younger…) She was breathing harder after the kiss, her nipples erect after she experienced the pleasuring feeling that Naruto had evoked from within her. What had been a small lesson in dating had turned into something far more dangerous. She had superb control over her emotions for most of the time, never allowing her true emotions to show on her face or else she would have been depressed a long time ago due to her love's death…
Naruto looked into her brown eyes, looking at the thinly veiled lust and love within them, knowing that he would have to stop.
"Shall I bring you back? I think we need to stop this now before you literally take me on this bench, like Ero-sennin encourages me to do."
That seemed to sober her up quite a bit, a blush appearing on her face and she said. "Of course Naruto-kun… let's go back… I'll teleport you there…"
Before she could do the seals for the teleportation technique she felt his hands encircle her waist as she stood and he kissed her neck and suckled on the flesh strongly, creating a reddish mark there, some sign that she was his in a primal way.
She did a full body blush as she felt his soft lips on her neck and when he suckled a shiver went through her entire body, making her feel so hot and bothered at the moment as it was extremely erotic to her if someone sucked on a piece of her flesh, preferably somewhere where she liked to be sucked, like her breasts but the neck was fine with her too.
She made the hand seals reluctantly and felt her chakra being pulled away, his chaotic being also dragged with her according to plan. They reappeared in front of the Hokage tower and she grinned and said.
"I had a really nice time, Naruto-kun… you should go and find girls or women to date because you really show promise in the art of dating…"
He grinned and thanked her profusely, even going as far as to offer her the chance to have another date with him, an opportunity which she took with both hands…
She walked back into her office, still clothed in her dress and in her adult 25 year old henge, which attracted the attention of her assistant.
"Tsunade-sama! Where have you been? There have been numerous new files that need either your signature or you to read it over!"
She was close to panic and hadn't even noticed that her superior was dressed in unusual clothes and had a rathere noticable hickey on her neck.
Tsunade giggled once, her apprentice looking at her as she heard her giggle, surprised that such a woman could still giggle like a schoolgirl… "Gomen Shizune-chan. I've been away for a while…"
Shizune's eyes widened as she saw the mark and said. "Have you gone out on a date?"
Tsunade nodded and said. "He's such a cute guy! He didn't even stare at my chest, just talked with me about some of the missions he's done and about the weather and other trivial things. He even fed me! It's been so long since a guy fed me…"
She looked into the distance, her eyes unfocused and looking like someone out of a romance novel.
Shizune just shrugged and said. "You have a meeting with the kunoichi women's society next morning… I have prepared some notes for you to read, which is about the lack of dates that the local kunoichi seem to be getting…"
"I'll handle that, Shizune-chan… now let me get to bed since it's been a long night and I need all the beauty sleep I can get…"
Tsunade went off towards her home, intent on getting some good sleep.
Somewhere in Konoha an aged pervert was thinking about a way to give some celebration gift to his student while another pervert was thinking about the lovely girl who Naruto had a date with. The chain-smoking Jounin was currently in the process of lighting another cigarette before trying to read up to some mission he got the day before.
A red-eyed woman went to bed, dreaming of having a date with a certain blonde, blue-eyed young man who had been so cute last night…
A oneshot completed people! I hope this is received well by you andif I get 30 reviews, I might make a sequel to this…