Disclaimer: I am the master of ownage. I've owned my sister into the ground... but I don't own Saiyuki.

It is normal, for Cho Hakkai, to be leaving the house at seven in the morning.

It is normal for his red- headed companion to be still in bed at the time.

It is normal for Hakkai to yell something important over his shoulder, and so naturally was not watching his feet as he stepped outside.

It is not normal for there to be a rather large something on their front step, so therefore it was normal for Hakkai to accidentally kick it.

It is most definitely not normal for things, left on porches overnight and accidentally kicked, to begin crying.

Not normal at all.

Feeling an eerie sense of dread wash over him, Hakkai knelt down to examine the bundle inside the basket. A red- headed creature looked back out through scrunched eyes. It continued to wail.

Having a tiny bit of experience with children, Hakkai picked it up carefully. It stopped crying, which was a relief. Holding the baby in one arm and the basket in another, he backed up into the house.

"Gojyo?"

"Whaaat?" the pile of rumpled blankets replied irritably.

"This might be important."

"Will it be less important in three hours?"

"Probably not."

"Then tell me about it then."

"Gojyo, someone left a baby in our doorway."

"Who?"

"There doesn't seem to be a reply address."

"Har har har."

Gojyo rolled off the bed, landing on the ground. A person less familiar with his morning habits might have asked if he was okay, but Hakkai knew better. A nice jolt, Gojyo swore, was the best way to wake up in the morning. Coffee was for wussies.

More awake than he had just been, he blinked sleepily at the kid, who sort of gurgled in reply. Satisfied, Gojyo turned upward to Hakkai.

"It's not mine."

"Well, I'm sure you don't think so, but-"

"Look at her hair. One parent was a redhead and the other was blonde."

"So?"

"I've sworn off blondes, ever since we got back from India."

Gojyo didn't give a reason for this boycott, and Hakkai didn't ask. He could guess, and he guessed it had something to do with months sitting staring at the back of a certain monk's head.

"So what do we do?"

"What are you asking me for? You're the one who's good with kids."

"Well, it's your house."

Gojyo pretended to consider.

"Let's give her to Sanzo. After all, look how the last one turned out."

"…Let's not."

"Then you decide. I'll give you my input in about three hours."

This decision made, Gojyo returned to his bed and proceeded to fall dead asleep.

"Well, for now, the best we can do is give you some food. Poor thing, it's freezing out there!"

He put the baby back in the basket, where it continued to gurgle. Good baby.

"I hope we have something left other than ramen. I do most of the cooking so there's usually food in here. Except today, when I had to go out and get some. I was just leaving, when I kicked you. Sorry about that, by the way."

"No problem. Can't be helped, old chap," Said the baby, but being a baby and all it sounded sort of like "mm- ehmm mrmmr ptth," followed by some giggles.

Hakkai realized he was talking to a possibly sleeping infant who couldn't understand him at all.

"Isn't talking to kids supposed to help them learn, though?"

I don't know. Yeah, I guess so. Fine, talk to whatever you want, Hakkai.

"Thank you."

(He talks to Jiipu, too, but you don't see HIM coming up with any English.)

"Jiipu's a friggin dragon! Will the two of you just SHUT UP AND LET ME SLEEP?

"Oh, Yes, sorry, Gojyo.

Yeah, what he said.

Hakkai rifled through the cupboards and fridge, and basically came up with four kinds of ramen and the last of the stew they'd had the night before. Anything that required cooking he had to make, because Gojyo, Bachelor Extraordinaire, could happily live off ramen, cigarettes, and beer for the rest of his life.

After a few minutes of contemplation, Hakkai decided that big chunks of vegetable and beef weren't going to cut it, so he just heated up some of the broth. It would have to do until he could get some milk or something.

Sigh.

Punch.

"Go away."

Punch.

"Dammit, Hakkai…"

"Well, I started trying to wake you up five minutes ago, but shaking you just wasn't doing the trick."

"What do you need? I went to bed four hours ago…"

"I know. Look, I just need you to watch her for a while, okay?"

"Her who?" Gojyo asked, a bit more interested at the mention of a female.

"The baby."

"Oh yeah. Man, that wasn't a dream?" Interest gets bored and wanders off to other things.

"No. Look, just make sure she doesn't eat anything off the floor or… you know. Anything dangerous. Do you think you can handle this for a few hours?"

"No."

"Too bad."

"Fine. Three more minutes."

"Chi balls can light mattresses on fire."

Gojyo took a moment to connect this seemingly irrelevant fact to his current circumstances.

"I'm up."

Thump. Roll.

"I'm glad."

The door swung open and then closed and then there was just Gojyo… and a baby.

Scary.

Alright, end chapter one! So, I had an idea: This is gonna be a tag story! I tag Nimblnymph. That means YOU get to write the next chapter! And then tag someone else.

(To upload chapters, send 'em to me and I'll upload them onto this story. That way we'll be able to keep track of 'em.)