A/N: Okay, this I actually thought up while I was in history. I hope you enjoy it, because I certainly enjoyed writing it. I partially blame my sister for helping me along with events and stuff. Also, all caption on italics next to times are parts of a day blog. All parts in between are the story around it.
Copyright © Hiromu Arakawa/Square Enix, MBS, ANX, BONES, Dentsu.
A Day in the Life of Alphonse Elric
6:30 am – Finally climb out of bed after another sleepless night. Will attempt to wake Brother.
Alphonse Elric rose off the make shift bed and winced at the creaking of the armor's joints. He made a mental note to get them oiled later when Brother wasn't too busy to help.
He walked over to the bed that his brother was sleeping on and just stood –watching. Just staring at how innocent he looked while sleeping. Too bad he wasn't that innocent while he was awake.
"Brother, it's time to get up." Al reached over and shook the blond slightly.
There was some grumbling, followed by a loud snort. Al rolled his imaginary eyes and shook the boy much harder.
"Brother! Get your lazy butt out of bed this instant!"
Bad idea. A foot found its way out from under the covers and was flying at high speed at the armor's helmet.
Al couldn't react in time.
6:35 am – Attempt to wake Brother failed. Helmet was kicked off. Now searching for it.
Al stumbled around with his gloves brushing the floor in search of his helmet. He heard a loud indistinguishable sound come from the bed, and then the breathing went back to calm.
"Oh! Just you wait Brother!" Al cried as he collided with a wall. "You're going to get it! I'll stick laxatives in your breakfast for doing this!"
Ed took no notice to the threat, and was off in la-la land catching some z's.
7:00 am – Helmet has been retrieved! I shall attempt to wake Brother once more.
Al reattached the helmet properly and gave the best glare possible for being a suit of armor to his brother. "Oh! You are going to get it! I can't believe you! You ask me to wake you up early, and this is what I get for trying to do so." He sighed as he walked back over to the bed to retry waking the little blond demon.
"Brother! Wake up! It's seven o'clock!"
Ed yanked the sheets over his head.
Al grabbed the sheets and yanked on them. "EEEEEeeeed! Get UP!" He tugged again. This time, he not only tugged the sheets off the bed, but he yanked his brother off too.
Ed fell onto the floor with a thud. He sat up disoriented, then looked right at Al. He narrowed his glazed eyes, clapped his hands, and placed them on the floor.
There was a bright blue flash as a section of floor transmuted into a tentacled monster and attempted to devour Alphonse.
7:03 am – Second attempt failed. Currently stuck to the floor by an alchemical monster. Have to wait for Brother to wake up before I can do anything.
Al laid in pieces, yes, pieces on the floor in which the tentacled floor monster had placed him. Well, actually, the correct term wouldn't be placed him, it would actually be dragged and tried to mold into him and become one with his armor.
Al grumbled. Loudly.
"Brother! Get up!"
9:45 am – Brother has finally woke. He appears to be stunned as to why I'm stuck in the floor. Gee, I wonder...
Ed stared in awe and in shock. "Al, what the hell happened to you?"
"Do you want an honest answer, Brother?" Alphonse hissed from his spot on the floor.
Ed approached and began to use his alchemy to try to put Al back together. "Well, that would be lovely."
"Okay, I was trying to wake up up at six-thirty, just like you asked me to. But the first time I did, you kicked my helmet off!"
The blond was taken back in shock by the outburst. "I'm sorry, Al."
"Oh, it gets better, Brother. It took me a while to find my helmet, but after I did find it, I went to wake you again but you used your blasted alchemy to sick the floor on me! Thanks a lot!"
Ed picked up a leg and handed it to Al, who grabbed it with agitation and reattached it. "How about next time you skip the wake up call? I didn't know I would be that much trouble." He grinned nervously.
If Al could, he would've given Ed a look that said 'you are a moron, you are much more trouble than a fox in a chicken coop so don't pull that shit.'
Of course, even if Al did have emotions, Ed being the thick blond that he is, wouldn't have noticed.
10:00 am – Brother freed me and now his Food! GIMME! mode has kicked in. Off to make breakfast.
Alphonse poured the pancake batter into the pan as he listened to Ed ramble on about what his agenda was for the day. He could hear only certain words coming from him because quite frankly, he wasn't listening to him.
The words he heard included 'research', 'stone', 'Bastard Colonel', and 'mission'. Basic everyday words part of Ed's vocabulary.
"Hey, Al, are you listening?"
Al inwardly grinned. "Nope."
10:24 am – Brother has finished eating breakfast. We are now setting off for HQ for some updates from the Colonel. Hope Brother doesn't try to kill him like last week.
Alphonse casted a look to his brother who looked like he'd rather jump off a cliff than walk through the doors and face the Colonel.
There was a sigh.
"What do you think is wrong?"
Al mentally smacked himself for asking. Last time he had asked such a question, Ed had broke out into a full-fledged rant, impressions and all.
"Never mind. I already know."
There was a harsh intake of air that sounded like a growl at one point.
"Well, aren't you going to go in?"
"Hey, aren't you going in with me?"
Al crossed his arms. "He's your Colonel."
Ed gaped like a fish. It took Al a moment to finally come up with a conclusion as to why Ed was making such a face but before he could explain himself Ed had already started ranting like a librarian who had just found her most prized book colored in with brightly colored markers.
"MY COLONEL? AL THAT IS THE MOST DISGUSTING THING I HAVE EVER HEARD! MY COLONEL! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU ON? AND WHAT MADE YOU THINK OF ANYTHING THAT ABSURD?"
"Brother, I didn't mean--"
"BLAST IT ALL, AL, WHY? WHY ARE YOU BETRAYING ME LIKE THIS?" Ed slumped over on the corner walk with a little gray cloud hanging over his head.
Al snorted. "Brother, with the way you put on a scene, one would think that you actually were in love with him."
Ed let out a squawk and nearly committed suicide by jumping in front of a car. "YOU! STOP!"
The armored soul freaked out. "Brother! You can't do that! That's hijacking!"
"I don't care! I'm not staying here to be harassed by not only that Bastard Colonel, but by my own brother!" He threw open the door only to let out a screech and slam the door again. He dashed over to Al and hid behind him.
The door opened slowly and out popped none other than the Colonel himself. He had a look of mild amusement and agitation. "Fullmetal! What the hell were you thinking jumping out in front of the car like that?"
"If Havoc hadn't heard your shrieking, he might've run over you because you're so short..."
"AARRGGH. BASTARD! WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT A TAXI WOULD RUN HIM OVER YET WOULD BE SAVED BY THE GROOVES IN THE TIRES?"
"Ah, now being small would be a good thing in that situation, wouldn't it, Fullmetal?" Roy leaned against the door with a smirk in place.
Alphonse quickly grabbed his brother by his hood and held him in the air as to avoid having a real-life decapitation take place in front of HQ on the street corner.
10:50 am – Have arrived at HQ. Already ran into the Colonel outside. Have already flawed one murder attempt. Now waiting for Ed to come out of the office.
Al sat on the bench twiddling his gloved thumbs impatiently. Ed had already been in the Colonel's office for five minutes, and there hadn't been any sudden flash of light, any screeching, and no sudden explosions from sparked gas lines.
"Don't worry, Alphonse. Armstrong is in there with them," Riza sorted through her files calmly. "If Edward tries to do anything, he can easily stop him. And if the Colonel tries to fry him, he'll easily stop him as well."
Alphonse let out a sigh of relief, but he wasn't as calm as he had hoped he could get. He was still worried about the alchemists in the next room, and really wished he could've gone in also to keep an eye on his brother to keep him from transmuting anything or anyone into a pile of shit.
"BASTARD!" A screech came from the next room and Al jumped up from the bench.
The door flew open and a disgruntled Edward came stomping out. "Let's go Al!"
Al followed behind the pissed off alchemist, waving to the Lieutenant as he left.
11:05 am – Have left HQ and now back at the inn. Ed has received his latest orders, and has yet to tell me what they are. Am currently trying to convince him to tell me.
Alphonse folded another shirt and glanced over to Ed, who laid on the bed with a disturbed expression on his face. "So, Brother, what is your next mission?"
"It's a solo mission."
Well, at least he got an answer this time.
"What kind of solo mission?"
"Just...a solo mission...nothing more. Now uh, you going to be staying here or going out? Because I have to leave in a little bit to do the mission." Ed rolled over so he faced Al. "I'm sorry about this mission, Al, I wish I could take you along with me."
"It's okay," Al replied as he placed the shirt on top of the suit case. "It'll give me a chance to do some research."
"Is something troubling you, Brother?"
"Nope! Nothing at all! I'm a-okay!"
Ed couldn't lie good, even if he was.
Noon – Brother has left for his 'solo' mission. I am currently on my way over to the library with Fuery and Havoc to do some research and to do some leisure reading.
"So, how's your personal mission going, kid?" Havoc said through the cigarette in his mouth, "getting any closer?"
"Yes and no, we're finding answers to some questions but then we find ourselves with even more questions popping up out of the blue. It's rather irking and at the same time tiring. But we're still going."
"Well, I wish you two the best of luck." Fuery smiled. "Now let's go get some reading done."
"Nah, you two go check out the books. I heard that the new librarian here is hotter than some of the dates Mustang's had and I want to get to her before he does." Havoc rushed forward leaving Al and Fuery blinking worriedly.
1:30 pm – Stayed at the library with Havoc and Fuery until one, then they left for lunch. Stayed until I got a message from the librarian that Edward called and that he would be back at two. Am now back at HQ helping with paperwork.
"I can't say how thankful I am for having you help, Alphonse." Riza filed away another folder and took the one that was being handed to her and repeated the process. "If you hadn't come, I would've been still stuck back on the first stack trying to sort each one into the proper folders."
"No problem. I had some free time so I wanted to do something useful during that one moment."
"Did you get a hold of Edward?" Riza closed the drawer and opened another to begin filing away the files relating to court trials.
"Actually, he left a message with the librarian. He'll be back by two."
"Ah." Riza let a smile creep onto her face.
"May I ask why though?"
"Well," she started with a pause in her work, "he and the Colonel went out together for lunch. If Edward is coming back by two, then the Colonel will be too."
Alphonse nearly dropped his stack of folders he had been holding. "Wait, him and the Colonel!"
Riza turned to Al. "Oh yes, the two went out. Why, didn't Edward tell you?"
"He said he had a mission!"
The blond female frowned, but then let out a sudden chuckle. "Oh, I see. Well then shall we get back to work and finish before they come back?"
Al was slightly perturbed by this sudden change in topic because he didn't see what she saw, but it was no use in arguing with Hawkeye. When she changed the topic that meant that all talk about that was to end and now.
Well, it wouldn't hurt to interrogate his brother, now would it?
2:05 pm – Waiting at the entrance of HQ for Brother to return. Ah! I see them now. Wishing myself the best of luck interrogating this brick-head.
"Brother, you're late." Alphonse tapped his foot on the sidewalk impatiently.
Edward shook his head in slight astonishment. "You never complain about me being late, Al. And besides, there was a problem getting back." He turned and gave Roy a glare that Al interpreted as 'Tell him anything and you die. Painfully. Bastard.'
"Brother," the tinny voice said sweetly, "I need to talk to you..."
"Well, sure go ahead."
Ed frowned. "Oh, uh, okay...at the inn. I'll be there in a few minutes."
"No, not waiting. In private, now."
"Al," Mustang cut in, "is something wrong?"
"Nope." Again with the sweet voice. "Just need to talk to Brother about stuff."
"Yup." With that, he ended the conversation by grabbing his brother and dragged him back to the inn without so much as a goodbye or a how-de-doo.
2:20 pm – Back at the inn. Have Brother. Hope I don't transmuted into a pile of poo, I'm not ready to die stinky.
"Brother, we need to talk. I am going to ask you some questions and you're going to answer them truthfully, okay?"
Ed stared at him bu shrugged. "Uh, sure, I guess. What's wrong?"
"Hey hey hey, I just said that I would be asking the questions."
"So, brother, how did the mission go?"
The blond twiddled his thumbs. "It went okay, I guess."
"Ah," Detective Alphonse wracked his brain for a way to slink up to the question lurking in his mind. "It was such a quick mission. Where did you go?"
"I was in town." Al noticed that Ed was beginning to sweat with nervousness.
"Yes, in town. Look, Al, wha--"
"...Al, what is going on?"
"Well, I had a talk with one of the Colonel's fellow subordinates..."
"Oh no," Ed rolled his eyes and a grin swept across his face. "You didn't talk to Havoc and Breda again, did you? Those two jokers, they are always saying mean stuff and--"
"It wasn't them two. But, from what I was 'told', you went to lunch with the Colonel."
Ed choked on air.
"Brother, if you were just going to lunch why didn't you just tell me? Or was it supposed to be kept secret?"
Ed's golden eyes darted back and forth, but then he cried out as he lunged at Al and clung to him. "Al! It was supposed to be a secret because the mission was to go out on a date with Roy and I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner but I was afraid that you would approve of us being together and all that but I see now that not telling you only made you paranoid and distrusting of me and now I wouldn't blame you for disapproving of us being together, even if you were from the start because I'm a minor and he's an adult and that his career is in danger and so is ours but we already talked about that and I'm sorry I didn't let you know and--"
Gold eyes looked up. "Yeah?"
"Shut up for a moment and take a deep breath." Ed did as he commanded. "Now, tell me again exactly what went on. I want details."
3:00 pm – Interrogation has been completed!
"See now, that wasn't so hard was it?" Al chirped.
Ed sat with an elbow propped on his knee and his head supported by his hand. "Yeah, right. Whatever. But you weren't the one being stared down by a suit of armor with an unbreakable gaze and being forced to admit you're gay with your commanding officer."
Alphonse would've grinned like a madman. Instead, he clapped. "But Brother! As long as you're happy, who cares? I knew something was up from our conversation earlier on the street corner."
The blond eyed him. "So, you approve?"
"Yes and no. No, because like you said your careers at stake, and because your still a kid--" Ed was about to rant but Al continued on, "but I am willing to support you all the way if and only if you do the following for me."
Ed leaned in.
"One: You must call me if you go out and let me know how long you are going to be out. Two: Don't drag me in when you need advice. Three: I want full details on your dates."
"From the linking of hands to the goodnight kisses." Al made kissy noises and Ed blushed like a tomato.
"So, maybe you should get going to your boyfriend and tell him the good news."
Ed jumped to his feet. "Yeah, I'll just go...do that...yeah..." He ran out of the inn.
Al shook his head, leaned back on the bed, opened up a magazine and began to read.
7:30 pm – Still at the inn. Ed still hasn't returned. I didn't figure that he would. But, that's okay. I found Ed's diary. I'll be entertained for a few hours.
The phone rang and Al jumped up, and by instinct, yanked up his helmet and chucked the diary into his chest. "I wasn't reading anything. Honest."
The phone rang again in response. Al stared at it for a moment before he picked it up and answered. "Hello?"
"Yes, uh, I'm calling you on Ed's part. He won't be able to make it back tonight..."
"That's okay. You can borrow Brother for the night."
"Oh, and give him a peck on the cheek for me." Al hung up the phone and dug into his armor for the diary again.
"Now, where was I? Oh yes...back to the part where Ed drooled all over his doodle of Roy..."
9:30 pm – Almost Ed's bedtime. I am so tempted to call up Roy and tell him that he had better have tucked Ed into bed, but by judging his tone...I think he was in bed before they even had dinner. All well.
I learned that as normal as my days go, not all days will be, in fact, normal. Heh, just goes to show what can happen in a day of the life of me, Alphonse Elric.
Al closed his own little journal and tucked it away carefully into the heel of his shoe. He looked at the clock, then laid himself on the bed and waited for morning to come.