Alexnandru Van Gordon
After reading the one-shot "Concerning Limes and Ninja's" by Luinramwen, I had to write this little one-shot. Therefore, I'm doing this in honor of (none other than!) Luinramwen and his/her wonderful sense of humor!
SUMMARY: How hard can it be to open a jar? Kurogane doesn't want to give a comment on that, but he blames it entirely on Fai.
Another night, another world, and no clues whatsoever as to where the princess's next feather could be hiding. Their little team had spent the entire day traveling around the city, searching around for the slightest trace of the feather's mysterious aura.
No such luck.
Mokona whined that he had a headache, Fai wouldn't stop talking about food, and the princess nearly fainted from exhaustion before they finally decided to stop for the evening to find a place to stay. Luckily, after nearly bawling over some stupid kid in the streets and later 'befriending' him (Kurogane just stood there and blatantly ignored them as Sakura worked her magic), they found an apartment and some food.
But Kurogane couldn't sleep.
Their apartment had only two bedrooms. Syaoran stole the couch before Kurogane could call it and Sakura occupied one room to herself (which was really a no-brainer). That left Fai and Kurogane with the last room but he'd rather die before sharing a bed with the annoying mage. He had to keep some of his dignity in tact by time he returned to Japan…
That left only two other rooms in their apartment—the 'wash-room' and the 'kit-chen' (who named these rooms anyway?). The washroom was out of the question so he took out the magazine he got from another world and sat down at the table in the kitchen to read the night away (well, what he could read of their strange language). And, after a long while, he started to get hungry.
Failing to ignore the growing ache in his stomach, Kurogane went to the 're-frig-er-a-tor' and started rummaging through what was left of the food they ate that night. There was a carton of milk (personally, he wanted to drink something alcoholic, but Fai reminded him with that fake smile of his that the kids should probably drink something a little…healthier), a small box which held part of the cake the others ate after dinner (and he, hating sugar, did not want to go anywhere near it) and a jar of something called 'pick-les' which Kurogane admittedly liked. So, without much of an option left, Kurogane took the jar from the strange frozen box and took his seat back at the table.
Watching Fai open it earlier, Kurogane gripped the lid fairly hard and gave it a good twist…And it didn't budge. Well, it did at first, but then it refused to move any further.
That's okay…it was just a stupid jar.
Glaring at the jar, he gripped the lid again and gave it a second hard twist—before his fingers slipped.
The magician got it open before—why couldn't he? Not being able to do something the stupid blond could accomplish without so much as sigh aggravated him more than anyone would ever understand. It was just impossible—and Kurogane knew he definitely had more arm strength than that foolish wisp of a man…
Fai must have enchanted it somehow…Yeah…Fai enchantedit because he probably knew Kurogane wouldn't take the milk or cake.
Even in his sleep, Fai somehow found a way to mock the ninja.
Kurogane had three options now. A) keep trying to open the lid; B) break the glass (but he really wouldn't do that unless he wanted to wake Syaoran, making him think he was insane); or C) storm off to his room, grab Fai and strangle the man until he 'un-enchanted' the jar.
The third option was something of a last resort because then Fai would laugh at him forevermore just because he couldn't open a stupid jar.
Just then, the devil walked in—
Correction—Fai walked in, but there really wasn't much of a difference now in Kurogane's eyes.
Fai yawned, smiling at Kurogane before turning to the fridge and opening it to grab the milk carton and the box. Searching around the cupboards for a folk, a plate and a glass, he didn't do so much as glance Kurogane's way as he continued to wrestle with the lid (quietly, so that Fai wouldn't see the trouble he was having with it). Then he set it down again as Fai took the seat across from him and started to devour the cake.
"Isn't it a little late to be snacking?" Kurogane scowled.
Fai just smiled. "What about you, Kuro-chan?"
He said nothing.
Fai shrugged it off (evidently too tired at the moment to argue) and continued to nibble away at his cake as Kurogane picked up his magazine and resumed reading. They sat that way, silently, for quite some time until Fai pointed to the jar.
"Aren't you going to eat any of those?"
"Then you should probably put the jar away before they start to—"
Fai squinted…almost as though he was analyzing Kurogane. "Do you need—"
Fai paused…then looked down at his plate and finished off the small cake. He drank the milk and got up silently to clean everything, purposefully avoiding eye-contact with Kurogane and his jar.
Then Kurogane decided to try again. If he could get it open with Fai still around, then maybe the magician would be oblivious to his problem.
Fai, rinsing off his dishes in the sink, visibly ignored Kurogane as the ninja tried to the pry the lid off the jar once more. He stacked up his dishes and—without missing a heartbeat—walked over to Kurogane, grabbed the jar and twisted…
With no effort at all, the lid made a small popping noise before Fai pulled it off.
"You turn it to the left to take it off. You turn it right to close it."
Fai handed him the lid and jar, turned and headed back down the hall toward his room.
…Kurogane waited exactly fives minute before grabbing his sword from the living room (scaring Syaoran) and leaving to kill the mage.