A/N: Funny event happened the other day between my muse, myself and my friend. My muse had to go to class but our friend wanted coffee so we drove to the Starbucks on campus and then drove to her class. I can't drive (sad, but true) and our friend can't drive a standard, so my muse just told her to cruise home on first-gear and... yeah, from this, out comes a one-shot involving Kiba, Naruto and Sasuke's Honda Civic.
"Kiba, I'm trusting you not to crash my car. Naruto, I'm trusting you to remind Kiba to put the club on and lock the doors." Sasuke said, leaning in through the window on the driver's side.
"The club is the thing that goes on the wheel, right?"
"Right." The raven replied.
"So wait, if I want to brake, I do what?" Kiba inquired.
"You push on the clutch and then tap the brake. You'll stop slowly and then just make sure it's in first-gear."
"Gotcha." Kiba nodded.
"Have a good class Sasuke!" Naruto exclaimed, waving cheerfully with a coffee in the other hand. Sasuke waved to the two of them before shoving his hands in his pockets and heading towards the building.
Naruto shifted in his seat and looked at Kiba. The other boy was frowning at the steering wheel, which caused the blond to clear his throat uncomfortably.
"I'm just gonna—put my seatbelt on." Naruto hastily pulled his seatbelt on.
"Fuck you, I know how to drive."
"I know, I've driven with you before." Naruto replied. "You just can't drive a standard."
The blond finished buckling himself in and then grabbed the coffee he'd left sitting on the dash, waiting for Kiba to go. When the brunette stayed put, he looked at him enquiringly and Kiba laughed slightly.
"I just want to wait until he's gone." Kiba said laughing as the two of them looked out the window. Once Sasuke was out of sight, Kiba nodded. "Okay, let's giver." He put his hands on the wheel and slowly pressed down on the gas. The car groaned and it lurched forward before stopping and stalling on them.
Naruto howled with laughter, ignoring the coffee that was leaking down his arm due to the lurch. At least none of it had fallen on the upholstery.
"Shut up." Kiba said, laughing slightly as well as he restarted the car. It roared back to life as another car appeared behind them. "Fuck, there's so many people."
"Well, the car in front is about to leave, so as soon as this one behind us passes, let's header."
"Got it." Kiba acknowledged.
The car behind them passed and Kiba nodded, putting his foot down on the gas. The car lurched forward and Naruto laughed again. They didn't stall this time, but they lurched twice more before the car finally steadied itself out and they began driving to the end of the small street.
"You know how to get back, right?" Naruto inquired as they turned down a street.
"Yeah, we're cool, no worries." The brunette replied, looking in the rear-view mirror. He looked forward again and cursed.
"There's a stop sign. Fuck!" He exclaimed. They neared it and he began to whine.
"He said something about the clutch." Naruto offered. "What the fuck is a clutch?"
"I don't know." Kiba whined, shaking the wheel slightly. "Okay, okay. Maybe I can just slow down enough to look and it'll be fine."
They reached the stop sign and Kiba slowed.
The car stalled.
Naruto and Kiba almost died laughing.
"Fuck, this sucks." Kiba laughed as he restarted the car.
"Shit, man, I got more coffee on me than in me." Naruto said laughing, more coffee having spilled over his cup and landing on his hand. He was going to have to wash his sweater when he got home. And his pants.
"Sorry, dude. We'll be fine."
Looking both ways, the brunette turned the corner and drove down the street. The car lurched, causing the two to let out a cry and then laugh. It evened out and Kiba cheered.
"Dude, I just fucking shifted! I did it right, too! Sweet, I'm getting the hang of this!"
"There's another stop sign." Naruto said calmly.
"Ah, shit!" Kiba grumbled as they neared it. Two cars were nearing the stop sign as well, and since Kiba got there first and stopped, they waited for him to go.
The car stalled.
"Oh my fucking God!" Kiba yelled at the wheel, shaking his hands at it.
Naruto motioned for the other cars to go. One of them did, but the other didn't as Kiba restarted the car and started turning.
With a lurch and a whine from the car, Naruto let out a scream as they turned, the other car just about to turn the other way from the road they were turning onto.
"Shit, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scream!" Naruto exclaimed.
"No, it's cool dude." Kiba insisted.
"No, I'm usually so cool with this. I think it was the noise. I never scream usually, and Sasuke does some real crazy shit."
"Don't worry, it's cool." Kiba reassured. "Okay, this stop sign is redundant, so we're just going to slow down and make sure no one's coming."
Kiba did so, turning the corner once he was sure no one was there and then cruising down the street to the parkade. He turned smoothly and inched into Sasuke's usual parking spot before stopping the car. He went to pull the key out and the car started moving backwards slightly.
"Ah! Shit! Shit!" Kiba pressed slightly on the gas again, the car lurching forward before it stalled. Kiba gave up and just turned the car off, looking down at the stick-shift. "Does the car have to be in neutral when you park?"
"You're asking someone who doesn't even know how to drive?" Naruto asked back.
Kiba shook his head as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, dialling Hinata's number. The two boys waited until she answered.
"Hey babe, what's up?" Kiba inquired. Hinata replied on the other end as Naruto inspected the damage to his sweater. "Not too much. Hey, listen, when you park a standard car, does it have to be on neutral?"
Naruto wasn't sure what Hinata replied with, but he assumed she was inquiring as to why he was driving a standard.
"Cause Sasuke had to go to class but I conned him into driving me to Starbucks so I offered to drive his car home. Naruto's with me." Hinata spoke. "Yes, I'm well aware of the fact that Naruto can't drive."
"Hey!" Naruto exclaimed. "Be nice to the underprivileged, Hinata!" Naruto exclaimed, loudly enough to be heard through the phone.
"She just laughed." Kiba informed him. "Yeah, so anyway, the car. Neutral?"
Both boys heard a small beeping sound and shared a look.
"Oh shit, the Black Widow (1) just went off." Naruto exclaimed as he laughed. "Don't put the key back in before you swipe the chip."
"Okay, babe, neutral? No? First, yeah?" Hinata replied. "Okay, thanks babe. I'll call you back when I'm in my room." He hung up the phone and pulled the key out of the ignition.
"Well, that was quite the adventure."
"We never speak of this again." Kiba insisted.
"Are you nuts? This was fucking hilarious! I'm telling everyone I know about this!" Naruto howled with laughter. Kiba sighed, shaking his head and then looked out the front. He frowned and leaned forward.
"Oh, you're fucking kidding me."
"What?" Naruto inquired.
"The lights are still on."
"Oh, shit." Naruto laughed some more, shaking his head. "Are you sure?"
"Hang on." Kiba opened his door and climbed out, walking around the front of the car and nodding. "Yeah, they're on."
"Okay, make sure you swipe the Black Widow before putting the key in the ignition." Naruto said as Kiba got back in the car.
"No, I just have to find the button." Kiba started twisting the knobs on the shift beside the wheel. Naruto reached out to turn one, then paused. He didn't know how to drive. Turning something would be a bad idea.
Kiba continued to fiddle with them, muttering and cursing under his breath, "Where's the fucking button?"
"You sure the car doesn't have to be on?" Naruto inquired.
"Ah! Got it!" They looked out the front window and noticed the lights were no longer shining on the sidewalk. "Excellent."
Naruto reached over across Kiba, the brunette frowning as the blond turned the wheel until it locked in place.
"Are you sure that's right?" Kiba inquired.
"I'm in this car all the time. Trust me." Naruto handed him the club. Kiba started to put it on when Naruto adjusted it slightly. Kiba tried again and Naruto insisted it wasn't on right.
"Chill, let it go. I can do it." Kiba put it on and started separating the two parts to lock it in place.
"Wait, wait, wait, it has to be behind the window's end." Naruto repositioned it as Kiba kept pulling it out.
Satisfied with its position, Naruto opened his door to exit the car, Kiba still pulling it, "Uh, Kiba. It's in. It's fine." The blond exited the car, locking the door behind him and then closing it. He pulled the handle to make sure it was locked, then walked around the car. Kiba closed his own door and the two of them headed towards their dorm.
"You locked the door, right?" Naruto asked.
"Yeah, it's locked." The brunette reassured.
"Cool. Keys?" Kiba handed the keys to the blond, knowing he was more likely to see Sasuke later than Kiba was.
"Well, that was an adventure." Kiba smirked.
"It sure was."
"I kind of want to steal Sasuke's car and cruise down to Oak. I don't want to take the bus." Kiba whined.
"So you'll crash his car instead?" Naruto inquired, smirking.
"Hey, come on, I wasn't that bad!" Kiba insisted, crossing his arms as Naruto's phone rang. The blond answered it after checking the caller ID.
"Hey, Shino, what's up?"
"Nothing. Just bored." The other boy replied.
"You called at a good time, dude. I just survived driving with Kiba in Sasuke's car."
There was a long pause on the other end.
"Who in their right mind put Kiba behind the wheel of a standard?"
Naruto died laughing.
(1) Black Widow: An anti-theft thing in my muse's car. You have to run this special chip thing before putting the key in the ignition or the car won't start.
A/N: Substitute Hinata for my friend's boyfriend. All the girls in this were guys, and all the guys in this were girls.
Dialogue was not exact, but you get the gist of it. Needless to say my books and notes—which were in my lap—did not survive the car ride. I got hot chocolate (I don't drink coffee) all over them. Meh. At least they weren't library books. I also had to omit quite a lot of the juggling I had to do cause I couldn't see Naruto doing it. I had two purses in my lap, two books, my notes and I was holding my hot chocolate in one hand, and my friend's frappuccino in the other. When my other friend called me, I was still juggling half of this stuff around. I didn't drop anything though. Go me.