Summary: Alice had plans for her future. Dana was supposed to be in them.
Spoilers: All the way to the end of season 3.
AN: Okay, so I've only actually seen up to half way through season 2 of 'The L Word' due to the fact that I'm in Australia, and our TV stations suck. So I only know what's happening through reading recaps on the internet. As such if get a heap of things wrong I sincerely apologise. Also, this is my first non-Buffy fic, so I'm quite nervous about it…
Alice had plans. Stupid, overly optimistic plans, more dreams and fantasies than anything else, but she had them, and they kept her warm after Dana left her, even though they seemed farther away then ever.
They were going to get married on the beach, wonderfully casual with both of them wearing light, flowing dresses. Not matching, because that was just tacky, and not white, because Dana would say it was inappropriate, and when Alice would teasingly ask her why Dana would blush and stutter and Alice would fall in love with her even more.
Alice would end up having the babies. Which was insane and terrifying and not something Alice would have considered before Dana, but Dana had her career, and pregnancy would set her back too much, so Alice was the only option, even though she would always secretly be sad that she wouldn't get to see little mini Danas running around.
Alice imagines she would have been a terrible pregnant lady, but Dana would be the best spouse-of-a-pregnant-lady ever, and Alice could see the look of wonder Dana would have gotten as Alice's stomach grew. They would have Dana's last name she'd decided. She knew what it was like to go through your life having to constantly spell hers to people. It was hard to get Fairbanks wrong. Plus, she would be able to make jokes about Dana being so butch that she managed to father children.
Dana wouldn't have found it that funny, but she just would have just rolled her eyes, because Alice would be pregnant, and Dana wouldn't want her to get worked up.
They would have their children, their friends, their careers; they would have each other and fantastic sex. Really, really fantastic sex.
They would grow old together, and Dana would be one of those puttering old ladies while Alice would be cranky, because of her hips or whatever it is that old ladies are cranky about.
That's where the plans ended, because from there came incontinence and other unpleasant old people things. And then came death. Alice almost laughs when she thinks about it now.
Dana is already dead, they weren't married, there are no children, they weren't even together, and Dana died alone.
Alice's plans died with her, and she can't seem to see another future.