Bryan's Diary

Well, I'm here again with another story! This takes its root in my day to day life, with added in randomness lol!

Disclaimer #1: I do not own beyblade

Disclaimer #2: The Gritch belongs to… The Gritch! (Ok, to Chu-Chi Face!)

Disclaimer #3: I do not own the Halifax adverts or the Sheila's Wheels adverts… Whoever wrote them should be shot!

Disclaimer #4: I do however, own Catman and Mofobugger. And join the Death to the Gritch club! Review me for more information lol!

I want to make it clear that I did not write all of this. This is a who's written what guide.

Bryan: Jezz/Jess/Palmeo/Me

Kai: Koren/Pervert/Thing in the Corner

Tala: Amz/Amzy/Sherwa's Hump Machine

Johnny: Sarah/Sherwa/The Locker Room Lurker

Ian: Charlie/Charlz/Hurley

Bryan's Diary

30th March 2006

Never ever work with a boff. I am serious. Today, Johnny skived science and Kai and Tala ended up being paired together – more about that later. So I was paired up with whatshisface… that midget from the Bladebreakers. Kai?


What's the name of the midget that used to hang around with you guys?

Kenny? Or Tyson?

Kenny! He sat there and did all the work and was dead erratic. I distinctly saw Tyson, Ray and Max taking the piss out of me and Michael is being so self obsessed. All Tyson has done is babble on and on.

I have two complaints to make.

Hey! This is my diary!

Whatever. (a) Tyson has the audacity to ask if I wanted to go to his birthday party. (b) Johnny is way too immature. He is beginning to act like Max on a sugar high.

Hehe… Kai was completely up himself today.


It's the truth. When Johnny was reading out that poem and you were going on about Bonnie Prince Charlie's (1) sexual preference.

I hate Halifax (2)!

Hello Tala. Hey… why are you guys all writing in my diary?

Because I don't think a lot. Anyway. Never ever let Johnny watch TV. He sang all the Halifax adverts and then started on bloody Sheila's Wheels (3)! He wasn't even put out when I pointed out they were driving backwards.

Whatever Red. Get your own diary.

Yeah! Go screw Michael!

Kai! There will be no perverted thoughts in my diary.

Hey guys! Want to see a magic trick?

No Johnny.

Aww… Wanna play a game?

No Johnny.

What sort of game?

Kai, not that sort of game!

We are sailing… we are sailing…

Oh, for God's sake! Johnny! Shut the hell up!

We're right behind you, Red.

Very far behind you.

Thanks guys. Johnny, start singing again and I will cut out your hair and stuff it down your throat!

Kai! Stop cracking your gum in my ear!

Well tell Tala to stop smacking his lips like a gay poof! (4)

The Gritch was at it again today.

The Gritch?

Kai! Even Johnny knows who the Gritch is!

Yeah! It's Mariah!

Why the Gritch?

Because she looks like the Grinch. And she's a bitch.

You'd better hope Lee doesn't find out! So what was she doing?

Boasting. A lot. And mainly about her and Catman. About their conquests.


What was she saying?

Nice try Pervert. You think I'm going to tell you all about what she was saying about Ray putting a hand down her – dammit!


Kai, has anyone ever told you you're a pervert?


Well, you are.


You are most welcome; now get the hell out of my room!

Now's my chance! Whilst Bryan is chasing Kai and Tala out of his room I can use his diary to make my plans for world domination!

Johnny, what the hell are you doing?


Finally, I have my room to myself. And my diary.

Don't be so sure!

What? Oh come on! Ian, bugger off!

What? That's not fair! The other guys got at least three pages out of you before you strangles them!

Yeah, well you get three lines, now beat it. And don't you or Mofobugger dare play your bloody Disney songs!

Don't call Mokuba –


Anyway, now I have my diary to myself, I can talk about Kai and Tala's interesting progress in science. When the boff and I talked about – of all things – Red Dwarf, the terrible twosome (how cliché) did a giant 3-d diagram of a flower. Yes, a flower. A purple, orange and yellow flower that Kai spent half the time stuffing


Orange balls down… WTF! And you say Kai is a pervert! And then, Oliver and Enrique confused Blue by saying that the leaves – which were two different sizes – were actually sepals. Don't ask.

Now excuse me, I have to go and kill Kai.


I realise this is mostly Americans that will be reading this. Bonnie Prince Charlie was an usurper to the British throne a wee while ago. The incident that I was talking about with the sexual preferences really did happen – only it was me, not Koren that was going on about his sexual preference. :D. Want any more information – Look him up.

Halifax adverts. Why did you create them, God? What did we do wrong? I don't think they have them in America, if they do, I'm sorry if I sound patronising. Basically, it's a bald, black Harry Potter type singing really cheesy remakes of songs like 'Sailing' and 'Who Let the Dogs out?'

Sheila's Wheels. GAH! Same goes for the above.

Amzy does this. I guess its ok for a girl to do it… It's funny to think of Tala doing it though lol.

And the flower incident? Really did happen.