A/N-This is for Animedorkette…who asked me when this would be out. And for SlinkyAndTheBloodyWands…who reminded me how funny it would be. Now, I have a forum concerning my fanfics. I occasionally put little tidbits there about my fics, so check it out!

Disclaimer- I don't own Batman or any related characters. That belongs to Bob Kane, DC Comics, and Warner Bros. This applies to all chapters.


Chapter 1- Something Wonderful

Harley Quinn had not been feeling well at all. Not at all. At first, she thought that it was just a cold. A stomach flu. She had been nauseated when she and her puddin' had busted out a week ago. When Batman had captured them, she had not had the strength to fight him.

Then, she began to get really sick. It seemed almost a daily ritual to vomit every morning before lunch. Finally, it came down to a visit with Dr. Bartholomew. The doctor had greeted her with some very, very surprising news. It was news that most would be happy about, but Harley had some misgivings.

She did not know, first of all, how her puddin' would react. Her love clown had always been careful with her, so that he would never receive this news. Of course, something unforeseen must have happened. A faulty product, most likely.

And then there was the issue of herself. How did she really feel about this information? When she had had the time--after some interviews with Dr. Leland, Batman, and Commissioner Gordon--to think of herself, she realized she was torn. A part of her was truly happy. Happier than happy. In fact, they had not yet invented a word to describe her joy. The other part, however, was scared. She knew she had to tell the Joker. He was ever as much a part of this as she was, but she couldn't begin to fathom his reaction. She feared as much for herself as…

She couldn't think of it yet. She could not allow herself to find it real. After all, the asylum might take this dream from her. And a dream it was…it was something she had always wanted. But perhaps that was thinking too far ahead? Maybe she should take this one step at a time…

And the first was obvious. In fact, the three that had interviewed her had even pointed it out to her. She had to tell the Joker. And she intended on it. However, she insisted that someone be close by. In case her puddin' turned ugly.

Three weeks after Harley had received her news, Gordon and Batman took her into a room and seated her. Shortly after, they brought the Joker in as well and seated him across from her.

"What's all this about?" Joker asked, glaring at Batman.

The Dark Knight said nothing to him. Instead, he turned to Harley and said, "We'll be right outside. Close. And you have absolutely nothing to worry about."

Harley nodded, finding herself for the first time truly grateful to the Dark Knight. He turned and exited the room. Joker sighed.

"Okay, Pooh, what's this about? All they told me was that you had something important to let me know," he said.

She sighed. Fidgeting a little, she did not answer immediately. This agitated the Clown Prince.

"Out with it!" he growled.

"It's--it's not easy, Puddin'. Please, please promise you won't be angry? It wasn't either of our fault…" she began, almost crying now.

"What!" the Joker yelled, more confused now than angry.

"Well…"

…………………

Meanwhile, a few feet up the hall from the room where Harley was informing the Joker of her "news," Batman, Dr. Leland, and Gordon stood there, trying their best not to listen in.

"It's so funny, in a way. We spend half of our efforts monitoring the patients here, and now we know we can't listen in," Leland commented lightly, running a hand through her short, dark hair nervously.

"I can't believe it, really. I mean, I saw all the tests and everything…but it still doesn't seem--I don't know--real," Gordon said.

"What does the asylum intend to do about it?" Batman inquired.

Leland shook her head. "I don't really know. I mean, we've never had a pregnant inmate here."

Silence fell. It seemed as though it was taking these three just as hard of time of letting Harley's pregnancy sink in as Harley herself was. Finally, noticing the relative silence coming from within the room, Gordon jerked his head in the general direction and asked, "How do you think Joker is taking it?"

No sooner had the last word of the sentence left his lips, a loud, high-pitched cry issued from within the room.

"YOU'RE WHAT!"


End Notes: Okay, short beginning and not really all that funny. I promise, it's gets really funny later. I also realize that it was probably painfully obvious what Harley's condition was. It was intended to be such. Anyhow, here's the fun part, boys and girls. I have no clue what sex I want the baby to be! So! Here's what I intend to do. As you read in the above author's note, I do have a forum for my fanfics. If you should like, you can go to my profile, click on My Forums up at the top, go the thread for this fic (when I start it…it'll be right after I post this) and vote for the sex of the child! I'll keep a tally, and you'll know the result at the end of the fic! Thanks in advance!