You Remind Me

LiL Pippin Padfoot

Disclaimer: I do not own 'Rent' or anything to do with it. Nor do I get any money from this.

I'm sort of adding and mixing things up a bit, so if you're a bit confused, well, join the crowd.

Flashbacks will be in italics.

Roger couldn't believe her. He had gone to meet her one night after work, and he saw her head into an alley, and buy drugs.

How could she do that?

He thought she had learned that she didn't need the drugs, that she was giving them up for him. 'Yeah, right.' Was all he could think. Mark had tried to change his mind.

"Roger, it was one time. No one's perfect." Mark had been making coffee, and set a cup down in front of Roger, who had been reading last week's newspaper.

"One time leads to another, and another. I thought you would know best Mark, considering how many times Maureen cheated on you and you took her back every time, saying she'd never cheat again." Roger knew that was a low blow but he didn't care.

"Look, Roger," Mark said. Roger kept on reading. "Roger!" He put down the paper, and looked at Mark. "What?"

"Look, rehab is no picnic-," Mark started, but Roger cut him off.

"You're telling me that? How long did it take for me to get clean? I think I understand rehab pretty well."

"Mimi is doing better than you give her credit for." Mark said quietly. Roger saw red, and got up to leave, but Mark continued talking, but in a louder voice.

"Roger, who was there when you were in a withdrawal? Who held you down so you didn't go get high again? I was. I think I have a pretty good idea of what Mimi's going through, and Roger, she's not as strong as you. She doesn't have the incentive you had."

Roger looked away. He knew what Mark meant. April…

"I'm going for a walk." Roger muttered, grabbing his coat off the back of the chair and walking out.

Roger had left the loft only a couple hours ago, but it felt like he had been gone for days, but then again, he needed time to think. Even if his motivations for getting clean were different, he still didn't get more smack. 'Because Mark wouldn't let you.' His head was talking, but Roger wouldn't listen. 'Because I wanted too.' He thought back angrily. He wouldn't admit it, but he knew during the worst of it, he was about ready to kill Mark just to get a hit. 'He was right' Roger thought. "I need to talk to Mimi." He said aloud. He ran back.

Climbing the steps two at a time, he reached Mimi's. He stopped, leaning on his knees, and caught his breath. He knocked. No answer. "Mimi?" he called, but there no response. 'Maybe she's sleeping,' he thought. 'She does work at night.' He tried the door. It was unlocked. He walked in, and went toward Mimi's room.

He walked over to the bead strands that was the entrance to her room. He walked up to it, and saw her.

She was leaning over, slapping her arm, getting it ready. She had the syringe balanced on her knee, and picked it up.

Roger's eyes closed. "How could you?" he said.

Mimi glanced up at him, and then at the syringe in her hand. "Roger…" she said, but he was already walking away. "Roger!" she yelled, getting up, dropping the syringe on the floor, running out of her room. She got there just in time to see him slam the door, and hear him run up the stairs.

She walked slowly back to her room, and picked the needle up off the floor. She held it in her palm, staring at it. This is what was stopping her from being with Roger. It was just a thing. She set it on her window sill. She didn't need that. She needed Roger. She wanted Roger, and no drug would stop that. She sat back down on the bed, and waited for it to begin.

Roger ran into their loft, swinging open the door.

"What happened?" Mark spun around, his video camera in hand.

"Turn it off." Roger said, storming away, but Mark followed.

"Roger…?" Mark feared that he had gotten a hit, he hadn't acted like this in a long time. "What happened?"

"I said TURN IT OFF!" Roger roared at Mark, and then he went into his room, slamming the door.

Roger felt a sudden remorse for how he had acted toward Mark, but sometimes… that damn video camera. It captured every moment of their every movement in life. Roger dealt with it the best he could but sometimes… he couldn't help it.

'Mimi…' his thoughts returned to her, and he saw her chocolate brown eyes, and deep brown hair. Luminous and shining in the flickering candle light. He clenched his eyes and jaw shut. He was done with her till she was done with drugs. He knew what drugs could do, he knew better than anyone! Drugs had cost him almost everything. His band, April's life, and eventually, thanks to drugs, he'd lose his own. He still had Mark, and for now, his life, but because of drugs, he had to take medicine everyday, and had to worry about when the end would come, when it'd set in. All because of drugs.

"I should have told her." But his words were muffled by his pillow. "I should have told her."

Mark let Roger mope around the loft for a two days. "You should go see her." He said suddenly that afternoon. "Why?" Roger asked, sitting there, acting like a stubborn child. Mark sighed. "Did you ever think that maybe she's your second chance?" Roger sat up straighter on the couch. "And what's that supposed to mean?" he asked sharply, even though he knew perfectly well. No one could ever replace April Ever.