Disclaimer: I do not own "Supernatural."

Author's Note: I wrote this right after "Shadow" aired the first time and sort of filed it away as unfinished, waiting to see where it was going. I re-read it this morning and figured that it really isn't going anywhere, but where it is. So here it is! ;)

Comments would be appreciated. :)


I'm a good looking guy. Charming, nice smile, adorable smirk, kick-ass fighter, and top class hunter… I like being me. Hell, most of the time I enjoy the hell out of it. The women, the flirting, the killing bastards from the fires of hell; I even enjoy the lying… the fact that I'm on in this big, great secret and the world isn't.

Being Dean Winchester rocks.

Most of the time.

Not today though.

Today being Dean Winchester sucked. It sucked just as bad as it did four years ago when Sam and Dad stood across from each other and hurled words around like they were bullets.

Because the truth of the matter is that sometimes… being me is damn exhausting… but it's never more exhausting then when I'm with Dad and Sam. Never more exhausting then when they fight—and they always fight—and I get caught in the middle.

Or so I thought.

I was wrong.

Being Dean Winchester is exhausting in another way…

It's exhausting when Dad and Sam stand across from each other and stare at each other, and share something; something that I can't understand—because I've never seen what they've seen—never felt what they've felt—something I'm not a part of.

It's exhausting when I get caught in the middle.

But being left on the outside…