Disclaimer: I own neither Inuyasha nor any of the other characters related to the show. Also, for the sake of the story, I've portrayed some of the characters out of character. Still, I hope you enjoy!
Inuyasha sat in a tree near the Bone Eater well, waiting for Kagome to return from her world. She had said that she was only going to be gone a couple of days. That was Monday. It was now Thursday and only because Kagome was so hard on his case the last time he went and fetched her did he not go down the well himself.
Suddenly, he saw a bright purple light emit from the well, a sign that someone had just came through it. Inuyasha hopped down from the tree, ready to chew Kagome out for being late when something stopped him. He was being watched. He couldn't see or even smell the person, but rather felt the eyes upon him. Kagome would have to wait.
Turning around to face the rest of the forest, he called out, "Who's there?" He received no answer but a rustle in the bushes as whatever it was drew near. Just then, Kagome's head poked over the top of the well. "Get down," Inuyasha whispered to her over his shoulder. She didn't argue with him, and had started to comply when a blur of white shot out of the woods toward him. Before she could ready an arrow and before he could pull out the Tetsaiga, it crashed directly into Inuyasha's stomach, winding him.
He and whatever it was rolled and tumbled for a few yards, then came to a stop, the white blur sitting on Inuyasha's chest. Inuyasha had had his eyes closed at the time of impact, but when he opened them, he received the shock of his life. What had so nicely decided to tackle him was a demon that looked very similar to a completely white husky. Inuyasha blinked a few times to make sure he wasn't dreaming; a bark from the dog confirmed he wasn't.
"Get off me, you stupid mutt," Inuyasha said to it and pushed it away. Kagome climbed over the well and cautiously advanced toward it. Hearing her, the dog turned and wagged its tail. Now that he was free of his burden, Inuyasha stood, folded his arms, and glared at the intruder. "Who are you?" he demanded.
Kagome stared at him. "He's a dog, he can't talk." She looked back down at the dog, but in its place was a boy clearly older than her but younger than Inuyasha. He and the boy even had many of the same features, the eyes, the color of their hair, and their ears. But like Inuyasha's older brother, the boy also possessed a facial marking consisting of a black star on his forehead. He smiled at Kagome, then turned to Inuyasha.
"Hi, I'm your cousin Kohanu!"
It took everything in Inuyasha to keep from bursting out laughing. He, with a cousin! Only family he had left was Sesshomaru, and he didn't exactly count. Kohanu pressed on. "I'm your father's brother's son. You see, my dad married a wolf demoness and had me so I get the benefits of both sides!"
What that last statement had to do with anything was beyond the hanyou. The boy talked as if he'd won the lottery, but since the lottery didn't exist in feudal Japan, the next best thing was having the full Shikon Jewel in your possession.
Inuyasha was still trying to get over the initial shock of this news, but could only manage, "My old man had a brother? How come I never knew?"
Kohanu put a finger to his mouth and looked up to the sky in thought, then said, "Probably because my father was kind of like cousin Sesshomaru in the fact that he hates all humans and the fact that your pops married one disgusted him so much that they never talked about each other. Of course, this is all hypothetical."
Inuyasha stared at him incredulously. "And when did you see him?"
Kohanu blinked once in confusion, then said, "Sesshomaru? Oh, just a moment ago. But when I pounced him, he all but killed me." He rolled his eyes. "He truly is an Ice Prince."
Kagome, who had been trying to digest this information too, suddenly spoke up. "You said your father married a wolf demon. Do you by any chance know Kouga, leader of the Eastern wolf tribe?"
Kohanu's eyes brightened and he smiled at her again. "It just so happens that we're brothers!"
Both Kagome and Inuyasha's jaws dropped.
"Cool, huh?" Kohanu chirped. "
Cool?" Inuyasha shot him a glare. "If...if you two are...are b-brothers, then th-that would make us..."
"Cousins!" Kohanu finished for him.
Inuyasha's face immediately turned to one of petrified horror. "Noooooo!" he shrieked. "There's no way I'm related to that...that..." No words could accurately describe his hatred for the wolf. And yet here this boy was, acting like it was the best thing in the whole world. What is he so happy about? Inuyasha thought. Why don't I just wipe that damn smile off his face? I mean, I'm no longer just in any ordinary competition to keep Kagome, I'm competing with family! This can't be true, it can't be!
"Yep, it's true!" Kohanu said, as if he'd been reading his thoughts. "So, what's on our agenda for today?"
Inuyasha started for a moment, then looked down at him, baffled. "Our agenda? You mean, my agenda? Well, I'm going to go looking for the Jewel shards." As soon as that was out his mouth he knew what was coming next:
"Great! Can I come?"
Just as Inuyasha knew what Kohanu was going to say, he knew what his answer was going to be.
Upon hearing this, Kohanu immediately turned back into a dog. He flattened his ears against his head, tucked his tail between his legs, and opened his eyes as wide as saucers. He looked exactly like a puppy who had been scolded and was trying to beg for forgiveness. Inuyasha didn't cave. Kagome did.
"Come on," she said, trying to wheedle him into seeing a little common sense. "We could do with more fighting power, and a full demon would be perfect for the job." Not a good choice of words, for as soon as she closed her mouth, Inuyasha opened his and flew off the handle.
"What, are you calling me weak?"
"No, Inuyasha, it's just that-" She tried to explain but he cut her off.
"Cause I could beat Naraku any day!"
"No you can't cause you would've done it by now, but-"
"All Naraku is, is a coward! A weakling! A low down, trifflin'-"
"Inuyasha, sit!" Kagome gave her customary command to him and immediately he hit the ground face first. "Sorry, but it was the only way I could get your attention. No, you're not weak, but a little extra help wouldn't hurt, would it? And besides—"She pointed to the still dog-formed Kohanu—"How can you refuse that face?"
Inuyasha snorted. "Just like this," he said, and walked off. Kohanu transformed back into his normal self and followed close on his heels.
Inuyasha started to run, leaving Kagome behind, but Kohanu, being a full demon, not only kept up, but stayed a pace ahead of him. He tried to shake him by going through the trees, but Kohanu always managed to cut him off, all the while laughing as if they had spontaneously started playing a game. Inuyasha used every trick he knew (he even used the Wind Scar) to rid himself of the boy, all to no avail.
Finally, the chase ended back at the well, Inuyasha tired and accepting defeat, and Kohanu pumped and ready to play again. "Whoa, that was fun! Let's go again, cousin Inuyasha!
"Let's not and say that we did," he panted, heading for Kaede's village. "And don't call me cousin!" Kagome and Kohanu joined him at his side.
"And why not?" Kohanu asked. "We are cousins, so why can't I call you that?"
Inuyasha snapped, "Because I hate the fact that we're related! I don't care if you were my son, don't call me that!"
Kohanu gave him his by now famous smile and said, "If I were your son, I wouldn't call you cousin! No, that would be crazy! I'd call you dad! Or maybe father. Or even 'my old man' like you call your dad. But that sounds too old. But pops sounds just as old. Maybe you'd—"
"Like you to shut up!" Inuyasha screamed at him. Kohanu quieted quickly. Too quickly. It was obvious what had happened; Inuyasha had completely shut him down. A few moments of heavy silence enveloped them until Inuyasha spoke again. "Look, I'm sorry—"
Kohaunu's eyes brimmed with tears as he gave him a childish smile. "Really? So you mean I can call you cousin, or dad, or pops or—"
"No!" Inuyasha shouted, resulting in Kohanu being shut down again. "I mean, no," he said in a softer voice. With this, the boy began speaking every little thought that came to his mind.
"Hey, I'm hungry, aren't you guy's hungry? Boy, isn't the sun just a-shining out today! You know, there's a forty percent chance that an earthquake could hit us this very instant! My favorite color is green, what's yours? You know what I hate? Someone who talks and talks and talks and it seems like they'll never shut up and you're like "Please be quiet for just one minute", and they're all like "Nooo!" and you're all like "All I want is one minute" and they act like that's just too hard to give. Don't you just hate people who are like that?"
Kagome gave him a forced smile and spoke through clenched teeth. "Boy, don't I."
Inuyasha had decided to ignore his cousin. It seemed that that was the only way for both of them to be happy, but as for poor Kagome, she was being pummeled with question after question and it was obvious that her patience and politeness were wearing thin.
Finally, mercifully, the village came into view and in desperation for freedom, Kagome ran towards it. But if you run from a dog, it's going to chase you. As the two of them ran off, Inuyasha slowed his pace to almost baby steps, savoring the much needed silence. That is, until he heard a scream. It sounded like it came from Kaede's house. Inuyasha ran towards it and when he reached the doorway, he threw back the straw hanging. As soon as he saw the scene inside, he groaned in disgust.
Kohanu was backed into a corner of the room, screaming his head off, while an enlarged Kirara was swiping at him. Inuyasha could have sworn the scream belonged to either Sango or Kagome. It was pretty clear that his cousin was a punk.
He went inside and got Kirara off his back, then made the introductions. All too soon, everyone found out how annoying the boy could be. He asked Sango how come it looked like she had sideburns. He threw question after question at Miroku on how he could be a monk, yet constantly fondle other women (and how he knew this in a time period of only twenty seconds was beyond both of them). He asked Kaede why she looked like a past its prime prune, and he ate all of the lollipops Kagome had brought back for Shippou, claiming he needed to taste each one to make sure it wasn't dangerous. Yes, all in all, everyone hated him.
But none probably hated him more than Sesshomaru. He had come to the village to steal Inuyasha's sword, and instead ended up trying to dodge Kohanu, who was chasing him saying "Smell my finger!" Finally, he cornered him and stuck his finger under his nose. Sesshomaru gave a tiny sniff and fainted. Kohanu, who was confused, looked down at his hand. "Hm, guess he doesn't like cornbread."
By the end of the day, everyone had found some method of which to ignore Kohanu. Kagome's had started off the best but ended the worst. She had tried to tune him out with her mp3 player and had the volume all the way up. Unfortunately, since she had her favorite song on repeat, Kohanu ended up knowing and screaming the lyrics to the song. Sesshomaru finally awoke, but was so traumatized by Kohanu's finger that he simply sat at the base of the tree at which he fell at, rocking back and forth with a glazed expression on his face saying "Get it away from me...get it away from me..."
After about twenty times of singing the song, Kohanu's voice cracked and he went to unknowingly pester someone else. Target: Shippou. He quietly sat down next to him and watched while he drew with the crayons Kagome had given him. Then, suddenly, Kohanu pulled him into a headlock.
"What's up, nephew?" he said while choking the life out of Shippou. He jerked his head violently upward to get a better look at his face. Shippou's eyes had rolled to the back of his head and his tongue was hanging from his mouth. Kohanu shrugged, stood up, and threw the boy on the ground in boredom. He was about to head over to Sango, when Inuyasha luckily cut him off.
"Shippou's your nephew?"
Kohanu grinned and nodded over-enthusiastically. "Yep. You see, I have a younger brother who married one of his sisters."
Inuyasha quickly started figuring out the science. "If he's your nephew, then that means I'm his..."
"That's right! Also his uncle!" Kohanu said.
Inuyasha's face fell. "No, this can't be happening! I'm becoming family with everyone I can't stand! Next thing you're probably going to tell me is that I'm related to Naraku!"
Kohanu looked up at him in surprise. "Oh, how'd you know? That's my step brother!"
Inuyasha's scream could be heard reverberating all across Japan, past and present.