Disclaimer—Nope. Don't own.

"The Downside to Eternity"


He stood before her, draped in dark finery, one gloved hand outstretched as he offered her eternity…

Eternal love.

Eternal life.

Eternal beauty.

Eternal youth.


The thought of cramps for the rest an extraordinarily long life nearly made her cry. The idea of bloating for centuries made her break out in a sweat.

The raging hormones, the mood swings, the craving for chocolate, the zits, the fatigue, and the sheer messiness of the act tortured her to the point of insanity each month. Could she handle going through that until the end of time?

Did the Underground even have tampons? Midol?

Shuddering at the prospect, Sarah violently shook her head and held up both hands to ward away even the thought.

"Sorry, Jareth. I appreciate the offer, but I'm going to have to pass. I've been looking forward to menopause since I was thirteen and living forever with you is just not incentive enough."

Sarah turned and ran as fast as she could—leaving behind a confused Goblin King who wondered what the hell had just happened.