Title: Illogical Perfection
Rating: PG-13, it depends really...
Summary: Kate's thoughts (slight hint at Jack/Kate)
Warnings: This story touches on the subject of OCD, if you are uncomfortable with this subject then I suggest you do not read this. There are no spoilers.
Status of Fic: Completed one parter.
Disclaimer: I don't own 'Lost' or any of the characters, they belong to the genius that is JJ Abrams and the rest of his company.
Author's Notes: This is just a little something I wrote last night while my internet was broken and I was bored. Umm...it's kind of a personal fic, as were both I wrote last night so please no harsh feedback. It's a little strange but I hope you enjoy it.



Illogical Perfection

2, 3, 5, 7, 11…

She walks alone through the jungle, trying to find food for the other survivors. Or at least that is her excuse; in truth, she just wants to be alone – and to count.

…13, 17, 19, 23, 29…

She mutters each number under her breath as she takes each step, the familiar pattern calming her stressed mind. She doesn't even know when she started doing it; she must have been barely a teenager.

…31, 37, 41, 43, 47…

She's always liked numbers for some reason, but not all numbers - there are a few that she avoids at all costs, but she likes most numbers because, for some unknown reason, they have a soothing effect on her.

…53, 59, 61, 67, 71…

She remembers learning the prime numbers in school. Her teacher only expected them to know the ones under 20, but Kate felt the need to learn more. There were only 8 prime numbers under 20, and although she likes the number 8, she hates the number 20 and had felt the need to go up to 100 – a nice, round and comfortable number.

…73, 79, 83, 89, 97.

She remembers how people at school called her 'geek' when she sat down and voluntarily learnt them, and to some degree she knows that they were right. She had marvelled at how easily the numbers had slipped into her mind. But they weren't just numbers - they all had a pattern. She loves the end of the sequence - 73, 79, 83, 89, 97 - the last numbers have a totally relaxed feel to them and she can go on for ages about how each one is perfectly related to the other. But then, as soon as she has finished and taken a breath, she has to start again.

2, 3, 5, 7, 11…

She hates it when she can't finish a set of numbers off, or when she has to end on a number that is horrible by itself and only feels right in between two others in the constant and familiar stream of numbers.

…13, 17, 19, 23, 29…

So she lets the numbers continue for as long as possible, until she has to stop walking or talk to the other survivors. She hates it when people interrupt the pattern; when they start talking when she hasn't finished a set. Sometimes she just puts off talking to them while she finishes the numbers off mentally, before asking what they said.

…31, 37, 41, 43, 47…

Maybe she's crazy. Who else counts prime numbers while they're walking? She's heard that people with OCD sometimes count their steps, but that isn't what she is doing. Kate is just reciting a sequence of numbers, over and over again, because it makes her feel safe. She is sure she doesn't have OCD… it's just a bad habit. At least, that's what she tells herself.

…53, 59, 61, 67, 71…

There they are again. The fourth set of numbers in the pattern, the last ones before the final five numbers. She doesn't know why she looks forward to the end of the sequence, she only knows that it's why she says the other twenty numbers, just so she can get to the last five.

…73, 79, 83, 89, 97.

She exhales loudly, glad that she's managed to finish the pattern; and allows herself to feel completely relaxed, if only for a few seconds before she hears the deafening silence and knows she has to start counting again.

2, 3, 5, 7, 11...

She hears the twigs snap beneath her with every step she takes along this new path, the numbers corresponding precisely to the movement of her feet. Right, 2. Left, 3. Right, 5. Left, 7. Right, 11. She doesn't know why she has to start on her right foot…habit, she tells herself. It's just a bad habit.

…13, 17, 19, 23, 29…

She wonders when it became a habit, when it stopped becoming optional, when it became something she felt like she had to do. Or maybe it was always like this. It was so long ago - she can't even remember a time when she wasn't counting.

…31, 37, 41, 43, 47…

47. That always was one of her favourite numbers… she has no idea why. 3, 8 and 47 were her numbers. Talk about random; they had absolutely nothing in common…except that 3 and 8 together was 38 which was similar to 47 because all you had to do was add one to the first number and minus one from the second to get 47.

…53, 59, 61, 67, 71…

Kate wonders if everyone else thinks like this or if it's just her. Why do numbers and patterns come so easily to her? Why does she have to do this every time she's alone walking? The final five were coming up again, for the third time since she started walking and her stomach starts to clench in apprehension. She remembers this feeling from when she was on the run… when counting was the only thing keeping her sane…

"Kate!" she hears Jack calling for her. "Kate!"

And she closes her eyes and lets the last numbers fall out of her mouth…

…73, 79, 83, 89, 97.

And stops.

No more counting, she tells herself.

No more.


So...umm...what do you think? Please leave me a pretty little review!

- Katie xxx