A/N: Hi, guys! I've decided to write a new fanfic–this one is a crossover! It's gonna have all my favourite shows in it! It's gonna be so amazingly awesome you'll fall out of your chair with glee! And don't forget to review when you're done reading the amazing awesomeness!
"It's always something when I show up in your time!" Inuyasha growled.
Kagome held on tight as Inuyasha sped through the allies of modern Japan with the girl on his back. She replied, "The episode would be boring if you showed up and nothing happened, though!"
Inuyasha grunted. "Why couldn't it just be another fluff episode? Those are so easy! ...Well, except for all the romantic awkwardness..."
Kagome noticed a blush redden Inuyasha's cheeks slightly.
But enough of that. This wasn't a fluff episode.
"Stop here!" Kagome instructed.
Inuyasha skidded to a halt in a lot behind a tall building. He perked up his ears to listen, and whiffed the air. "There's definitely something here... Are you sensing anything?"
"It's close..." Kagome whispered. "But where...?"
Suddenly, another pair came running into the lot from an alley on the opposite side. One was a junior-high student with his hair slicked back.
The other was a turquoise-haired woman sitting side-saddle atop a floating oar. As she left the alley, she was saying, "The demon should be somewhere in this direction...!"
"You said it looked like an animal, right?!" the student demanded. "That must be it! I can sense a powerful aura from him...!"
"Wh-what the hell?" Inuyasha stuttered. "Who are these people?!"
"Hm?" murmured the woman atop the oar. "The description doesn't match, Yusuke. Headquarters never said anything about this guy..."
"Did you say you're looking for a demon, too?" asked Kagome. "Who are you guys?"
"I'm Botan, and this is Yusuke," explained the woman atop the oar. "It seems to me we may have the same goal in mind..."
"I think you might be right," said Kagome. "We might be able to get the job done faster if we work together. What do you say, Inuyasha?"
Inuyasha crossed his arms and sniffed. "We don't need them. I can handle anything that comes along!"
"Same here," Yusuke shot back. "Just stay out of our way!"
"Come on, you two!" Botan urged. "We'll never get anywhere by arguing!"
It started out faintly at first, but grew gradually louder. An odd puttering sound, like a small automobile. The gang looked around for the source, but could find nothing.
Inuyasha, having the keenest ears of the bunch, realized the sound was coming from above. He looked up, and started. "Who's that coming from somewhere up in the sky?"
Kagome followed his gaze, shielding her eyes from the sun. "You mean the thing that's moving fast and bright as a firefly?"
The flying object zigzagged closer to the ground and finally landed a few feet away. It was indeed a very small car that appeared to be made of a cloud-like substance, and had star-shaped headlights.
There were two occupants of the peculiar vehicle. They looked very much like bears, but more akin to the teddy variety than anything else. The brown bear turned to the pink bear next to it and asked, "Are you sure this is the right place?"
"Aww, they're so cute!" Kagome wibbled.
Inuyasha snorted and approached the vehicle. "Who're you guys supposed to be?"
"Oh?" said the brown bear, looking up at the dog demon. "We're the Care Bears! My name's Tenderheart Bear, and this is Cheer Bear. The Caring Metre was way down, and we traced the trouble to this location. ...Are any of you, um...feeling down?"
The alley was filled with silence.
After a moment, Inuyasha lowered his head and tapped his index fingers together. "Actually, for the past few weeks..."
"Listen, you, uh, Care Bears, or whatever," interrupted Yusuke. "We've got this situation under control. Why don't you go find some emo kids to hug better or something?"
Tenderheart shook his head sadly. "Believe me, we've tried..."
Hopping out of the car, Cheer Bear said, "Don't be silly! I'm sure if we all worked together, we could find out what the problem is in no time flat!"
"Sorry, but I don't work with stuffed animals," Yusuke insisted, absently scratching his ear with a pinky finger.
Botan swooped down next to Yusuke. "Don't be so stubborn! It's what I've been saying all along. Fact is, we could really use their help!"
Just then, a scream rang out from the street.
"Oh no!" exclaimed Tenderheart. "Someone's in trouble!"
"Man, what's goin' on today?!" growled Inuyasha.
Demons, humans and bears alike emerged from the alley to find Hojo sprawled out on the street.
Kagome gave a shriek of her own. "Not Hojo! Anyone but Hojo! Oh, the humanity!"
"Hey!" said Botan, giving Hojo's shoulder a shake. "Are you alright? What did this to you?"
"A...b-b-bear..." Hojo stuttered. "It was...a b-bear!"
"You were mauled by a bear?" Inuyasha asked incredulously. He shot a suspicious glare at Tenderheart and Cheer Bear.
Tenderheart planted his paws on his flanks. "We specialize in caring, not mauling!"
"Who's going to be able to solve this mystery?" Kagome asked no one in particular.
"Leave it to us, Kagome!"
The group gathered around the prostrate, petrified Hojo looked up to see a pair of young children standing back-to-back in a dynamic pose a few feet up the sidewalk. One had black hair, large glasses and a bowtie. The other had smooth light red hair, green eyes, and dark robes with an oversized white bow at the front. He was also carrying a crescent-shaped staff.
"Conan?!" Inuyasha exclaimed. "What are you doing here? ...And who's that other kid?"
"Mythical Detective Loki," said the red-haired child, "at your service."
"We're here to investigate this mystery," said Conan, adjusting his glasses in an intellectual fashion.
Everything suddenly went black. From out of nowhere, a gruff male voice spoke:
"In the criminal justice system, supernatural offenses are considered especially heinous. In Tokyo, the dedicated child-detective prodigies who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the supernatural victims unit. These are their stories."
A distinctive "CHUNG CHUNG" sound rang out.
Hours later, Conan and Loki were standing in Nye Labs. A man in a light-blue lab coat and a bowtie emerged from an adjacent room.
"Were you able to identify that tuft of fur we found on the victim's clothing?" asked Loki.
"Well, what we have here certainly does not belong to a Care Bear," said Bill. "Judging from the colour, I'd say it's probably something posing as a Care Bear."
"So you weren't able to identify the sample?" inquired Conan.
"Unfortunately, no," Bill replied. "Whatever it is, you should approach it with extreme caution. I want you boys to be careful out there."
"We will, Mr. Nye," said Loki. "Let's head out, Conan."
"Oh, one last thing, Conan," said Bill as the two child prodigies were headed out the door. "Love the bowtie."
Conan tugged on the sides of his bowtie. "Thanks, Mr. Nye. I'm rather partial to yours as well!"
Meanwhile, back on the scene of the crime...anime crossover hell had just broken loose.
Inuyasha's ears tweaked, having caught waves of sound from up in the air. He looked up and searched the skies. "What now?!"
"What is it?" Kagome asked. Her face lit up and she looked up into the sky as well. "Are there more cute little bears coming?"
"No, whatever it is, it's comin' in fast," Inuyasha growled. "Hit the dirt!"
Inuyasha grabbed Kagome and dove just as a round pod came shooting down from the sky with a huge explosion, leaving a large crater in the middle of the road.
Yusuke looked up from his own evasive dive. "Thaaaat's gonna cost..."
At the very centre of the newly-formed giant pothole that drivers and the city alike were not going to be pleased about, the pod's hatch opened and two figures emerged. One had very pale hair; the other had jet black hair, spiky and large beyond all reason.
Inuyasha peered over the edge of the crater. The pale-haired newcomer pulled out what looked like an oversized compass and both he and his companion began inspecting it closely.
"Hey!" Inuyasha shouted. "Who the hell are you supposed to be?!"
The two looked up. The pale-haired one shouted back, "The name's Trunks, and this is Goten. We come from the future, where an evil shapeshifting demon in the form of a bear has destroyed the earth. We were able to escape and travel back in time so that we can collect the Dragon Balls and stop the destruction from ever happening."
"I didn't want your whole freakin' life story!" Inuyasha snapped.
"Oh my gosh!" Kagome exclaimed. "My horoscope was right!"
Suddenly, a shadowy blur moved in front of the two at the centre of the crater. Trunks was looking down at empty hands.
"The Dragon Radar!" he exclaimed. "Mom's gonna kill me! But...who just stole it?! How was it that I was unable to detect their presence before now?"
"Never underestimate the element of surprise!" boasted a new guest to the party. Everyone in the street turned to see a tall, dark and handsome fellow in a black and violet leather catsuit standing at the edge of the crater. Most notable were the huge raven-black wings on his back. With a cocky tilt of his hips and a smirk the size of Texas he waved the Dragon Radar in his hand. "Dark Mousy's the name, phantom thievery's the game! I'm afraid I'm going to have to take this little trinket off your hands."
"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARK!!!" screamed a voice from up in the air. It grew louder as the feathered bullet from which it came landed gracefully nearby. Equally handsome but the polar opposite of Dark's...uh, dark colour scheme, a white-winged angel with golden hair and eyes pointed menacingly at the phantom thief. "The Dragon Radar is a Hikari artifact of great power. I cannot allow you to steal it. Prepare to die, Dark Mousy!"
Yusuke raised an eyebrow. "Is...is that guy wearing pink chiffon under his...uh..."
"Dress?" Botan provided.
"It's a ROBE," Krad insisted. "And it's EXCEEDINGLY MANLY."
"Riiiight," Dark said. "You go ahead and keep telling yourself that. As for me, I'm just gonna be off now." He turned and was about to fly away when he suddenly noticed the crime-fighting duo in highly elaborate sailor fuku standing in his way.
"I won't let you get away with stealing a precious artifact!" cried the blonde one. "I am Sailor Moon!"
"And I'm..." began the pink-haired one, a slim fraction of the blonde's height, "Sailor Chibi Moon!"
"And in the name of the Moon..."
"We will punish you!"
Dark blinked. "Damn, you're with Krad...?! You must be! You have the same hair!"
"Now, Chibi Moon!" signalled Sailor Moon.
Chibi Moon nodded. "Right! O Pegasus, Protector of Dreams! TWINKLE YELL!"
A spark of light erupted in the air, and from out of it plopped a man with straight, silver hair and an expensive-looking red suit. He held a glass of wine and appeared to be a bit tipsy.
"You bellowed?" he inquired in an inebriated drawl.
"Y-you're not Pegasus!" Chibi Moon squeaked.
"Yes I am!" argued the red-suited man with a tilt of his head. "But you can call me Max, dear. All those stuffy formalities are such a bother."
"W-well then," said Chibi Moon, "you're not the RIGHT Pegasus! Where's my Peg–"
A bolt of lightning seemed to come from out of nowhere and blasted Chibi Moon at point blank. She lay in a sizzled heap on the ground.
"CHIBI MOON!" screamed Sailor Moon.
"Huh?" puzzled the newcomer. He looked fairly average, with dark hair and eyes and dressed modestly, but classily. Unbeknownst to the others, his name was Kiyo, and due to the laziness of the author, he didn't bother to introduce himself. He turned to Sailor Moon. "Where's your book?"
"M-my book?" asked Sailor Moon. "What are you talking about? You just blasted Sailor Chibi Moon, you jerk!"
The strange little blonde boy standing next to Kiyo and dressed in a dark blue poncho piped up, "Sailor Chibi Moon? That's an awfully funny name for a Mamodo!"
"What the heck is a Mamodo?!" Sailor Moon wailed, tears forming in her eyes. "What's going ooooooooon!" She began whining and sobbing loudly.
"Wotta Thunderbolt!" exclaimed another dark-haired boy, this one clearly younger than Kiyo. Distinctive red cap on his head and familiar yellow rodent at his side, he challenged, "How about a Pokemon Battle!!"
"Who's Pokey Man?" Kiyo wondered aloud. "And for that matter, who are you?"
"My name's Ash, and I'm from Pallet T–!"
"Pika! Pikapi! Pikachu!"
The yellow rodent was chattering frantically, and Ash turned to see where its little paws were pointing. On the other side of the street, a large bear was tiptoeing away from the busy scene. Tiptoeing was doing it little good, unfortunately, as it was bright green.
"The shiny Ursaring is getting away!" wailed Ash.
"There it is!" shouted Trunks. "It's the shapeshifting bear demon!"
"Finally!" Inuyasha snarled, cracking his knuckles. "Now that he's shown himself, we can finish off this bastard once and for–!"
Sadly, Inuyasha was cut off because he was no longer the focal point of the story.
"Stop right there!"
The shapeshifting bear demon was shocked to see what appeared to be a large robot in a loin cloth standing before it, as well as a very short–
"WHO YOU CALLIN' SHORT, BETCH?!" screamed the blonde shrimp next to the–
"There! YOU JUST DID IT AGAIN! If you call me short one more time–!" threatened the vertically challenged brother of the robot.
The blonde grumbled. "I still don't like it..."
"Uh, brother..." said the robot gently. To avoid a lot of messy dialogue, I'll tell you right now his name was Al. And his brother was Ed. Their names were as short as–
"Don't. Say it."
Fine, fine. But it's just what the fans want, Ed. It's just what the fans want.
Ed thrust a finger at the shapeshifting bear demon. "Anyway! You! Yeah, you! Your misuse of alchemy to turn yourself into a chimera disgusts me! I'mma chargin' mah automail, betch!"
"Brother..." said Al, slightly puzzled. "Why are you talking like that?"
"'Cause the author has never seen FullMetal Alchemist, and is flying by the seat of her pants in my portrayal!" explained Ed. In a sudden change of subject, he asked, "Al, is it true you like Mudkips?"
"Like them?" Al exclaimed. "I LOVE Mudkips!"
"Did someone say 'chimera' a few paragraphs ago?" exclaimed a shrill, annoying voice. Five girls appeared dramatically on the horizon, each dressed in skimpy outfits of varying colour and wielding weapons clearly made from hard plastic. "There it is! That must be the Chimera Animal! Tokyo Mew Mew, go! For Earth's future, we will be of service, nya!"
"Ehn..." shrugged Ed. "Needs more Strawberry Bell Bell."
Meanwhile, back in the crater, Goten turned to his friend Trunks. "There's gonna be a battle! We'd better help out!"
"You're right," replied Trunks. "Are you ready?"
"Sure am!" Goten enthused.
The two stood ready, a few feet apart from one another. Fingers pointed up, they leaned over and cried, "FU-SION-HA!" There were a lot of impressive pyrotechnics as the two performed the Fusion Dance to become the powerful and spunky Gotenks. Or at least, that was their intention...
"Ooh, I've seen this trick before!" slurred Pegasus. He pulled a Duel Monsters card from out of his jacket pocket. "I'll use Polymerization to help them out! HIC!"
The Millennium Eye flashed and the effects of Polymerization became tangible. There were more impressive pyrotechnics and pretty flashing lights dancing in the crater, and soon a massive robot rose ominously from its centre.
"Oh my gosh!" cried Ash. "It's the Megazord!"
Trunks and Goten shared a puzzled look, now suddenly clad in sentai outfits and seated in the cockpit of a giant two-tiered robot.
"Um..." Trunk said. "Okay, sure, why not..."
"Incoming!" Goten cried, the radar on the console in front of him pinging madly.
As per the radar's warning, another giant robot dropped from the sky and landed in the crater next to the Megazord.
"Is that another one of these Megazord thingies?" Goten wondered.
The chest cavity of the newest robot opened to reveal a young boy strapped inside. He could not have been more than sixteen or seventeen. He pulled off his helmet to reveal shaggy brown hair and large violet eyes. "It's true!" he exclaimed. "I have been pulled back into the past..."
"What do you mean?" puzzled Sailor Moon. "Do you know Sailor Pluto, too?"
"Huh?" said the boy. "I don't know who that is... But my name is Kira, and I think when you guys in that weird Gundam over there travelled into the past, you inadvertently opened a wormhole in my time that pulled me in and sent me to the same time you were aiming for."
"And how exactly did you wind up at THAT conclusion?" Kiyo demanded.
Kira shrugged. "Easier to advance the plotline this way, I guess."
"We have a plotline?!" Dark thundered in disbelief.
A strange rift appeared in the sky, and another mecha dropped into the already-crowded crater.
"Did somebody say plotline?" exclaimed the pilot, a young girl in red armour and red hair in the ugliest style imaginable. "Whatever it is, I'll take it over and completely overshadow everyone else! I am the star after all! Of course, friends are the most important thing...but I'm even more important! For I am Hikaru, and I shall save Cephiro!"
"Did she say Sephiroth?" asked Sailor Moon.
Silence overtook the people gathered on the street as the air crackled with anticipation, but sadly, Sephiroth was too busy posing for yaoi fanart to make an appearance in this story.
The sky was suddenly illuminated by a shaft of blue light that cut through the air like a blade and bathed Hikaru's mecha in its blinding glare. Yet another mecha descended, down the shaft of light, and landed directly on top of Hikaru and her mecha. Hikaru was promptly killed.
"Now my horoscope has come true!" exclaimed Botan. She pulled a newspaper clipping from inside her kimono and unfolded it.
Someone near to you will be crushed horribly from above today.
The new mecha looked something like a knight, complete with a cape. A panel in the mecha's "helmet" slid open, and an ebony-haired head poked out. "Hey, Hitomi, what're you dooooooooin'?! ...Wait, you're not Hitomi..."
Krad scuffed his toe on the concrete, hands folded behind his back and a coy look in his eyes. "For you, honey, I could be."
"Hey you guys!" said Goten. "Let's all fight crime together! My big brother used to do that, y'know."
"With all of our mechas, I'm sure crime wouldn't stand a chance!" agreed Kira.
Van (that's the one in the knight-like mecha, in case you haven't seen that anime) nodded in concord. "I clearly have nothing better to do, and the fact that I've been teleported to the Mystic Moon for no adequately explored reason doesn't bother me in the least. Count me in!"
"But we're missing one person..." Trunks pointed out. "There's only four of us. We need five to be a real team!"
"I don't have a mecha," Al piped up, "but I guess I kind of...am a mecha. Sort of. If you squint." He turned to Ed. "Do you mind if I go fight crime for a while, brother?"
Ed closed his eyes and clenched his fist in a dramatic, anime-style expression of anguish. "People die when they are killed..."
"Umm... Yes, thank you for that, brother..." Al said, and he clunked away.
Trunks, Goten, Kira, Van, and Al subsequently joined forces and formed a sentai squad.
Meanwhile, at a nearby tavern...
"What do you mean, we're not allowed in?!" shouted Loki. "Don't let my boyish charm fool you, I'm actually thousands of years old."
"Yes, my appearance is deceiving, as well," explained Conan. "Just because we look like children..."
"Alright, look, kids," said the bouncer. "A bar is no place for someone your age. Now go place nice in the park or something."
Loki grumbled, "You're SO getting cursed for this..."
Inside the tavern, a pair of silver-haired boys were angsting at the bar on adjacent stools.
Dilandau quickly downed his shot and slammed it down on the counter. "Damn... We are so messed up."
Tsukasa nursed his Shirley Temple slowly, grasping the sweaty glass with the tips of his fingers. "You can say that again..."
"We should start a club," Dilandau proposed. He straightened up on his barstool, eyes glistening in the hazy tavern light with inebriated determination. "But what do we call it?"
Tsukasa stared at his drink for a moment. "The 'I Was a Girl But Then...' Club?"
Dilandau slammed a fist down on the counter. "It's brilliant! I'll drink to that!" He tapped the rim of his next shot on Dilandau's Shirley Temple glass.
Yet another silver-haired patron glided into the tavern and took a stool at the bar.
"The usual, Frank," deadpanned Sesshoumaru.
"One bowl of scotch comin' up," the grizzled, mustachioed bartender replied.
Back on the suddenly very busy street...
"Are you sure the Hollow is this way?!" cried a young man with hair the colour of that orange juice-product you get at McDonald's, wielding an oversized sword as he turned the corner at the intersection. He and the black-haired girl following him stopped short when they saw the huge crowd gathered on the street.
The sword-wielder, Ichigo, blinked. "Do I even want to know?"
"Like, oh my gosh!" cried the pink-clad Mew Mew, "Your name is Ichigo too?!"
Sword-wielding Ichigo stared at the cat-eared Ichigo. "What the hell are you supposed to be?"
"And you!" the car-eared Ichigo bubbled. She pointed a gloved hand at Inuyasha. "Doggy ears! You must be one of us!"
Inuyasha's eye twitched. "Alright, this is really starting to get on my nerves..."
"How many more people are gonna show up?!" Ash demanded incredulously.
Ed shrieked in reply, "IT'S OVER NINE-THOUSAAAAAAAND!!!"
"Why does that sound so familiar...?" Trunks mused.
With unfortunate timing, a boy in an obnoxiously bright orange outfit and a squinty face burst onto the scene. "I'll take all of you guys on! I'm gonna be the strongest so I can be the next hokage! Buh-lieve it! Buh-lieve it! Buh-lieve it! Buh–!"
"THAT DOES IT!" Inuyasha screamed. "EVERYBODY, OUT!!!"
The crowd grumbled irritably and retreated in different directions. The only exception was the obnoxious ninja boy.
"Buh-lieve it! Buh-lieve it! Buh-lieve it! Buh-lieve it!"
Inuyasha stalked over to the ninja boy and picked him up, one hand gripping the back of his collar and the other clamped to the waist of his pants.
"Buh-lieve it! Buh-lieve it! Buh-lieve it!"
Inuyasha walked over to a nearby bridge, hoisted the ninja boy up, and with a mighty swing, chucked him into the river.
"Buh-lieve it! Buh-lieve it! Buh–!" SPLASH!
Inuyasha dusted his hands off, a satisfied smirk plastered to his face.
"Gee," remarked Yusuke drily. "THAT wasn't symbolic."
A/N (Calum the Angel): Despite Yusuke's observation, it wasn't actually symbolic of any anime's superiority over another–I just felt like having Naruto get chucked into a river.