Feel Forever Pass Us By
A slight drizzle trickled onto the island, cooling the skin that had only seconds before been burning. Jack shivered. The rain blurred his vision, and he closed his eyes, letting the rain fall freely upon his face, the little droplets sliding across his cheek. For a moment, Jack imagined Kate's cool hand was there stroking his skin, putting him at ease, but the moment passed and the comfort of Kate's hand slipped away.
After an eternity, he sensed a warm presence, not near him, but there all the same. He opened his eyes. Jack watched her walk across the beach, her silver eyes detached, and her troubled demeanor as taciturn as ever. The sun set as she silently stared out into the sea, wondering, waiting, wishing.
What are you thinking, Kate? What are your thoughts?
He was so confused about her. It seemed to everyone that he was the calm, cool, controlled Doctor Jack Sheppard. But she ran through him like a fever, infecting his body with a passion that he could barely suppress.This was made all the more intense once talking to her felt awkward, because they had crossed a line from which they could never go back. They hovered in purgatory, vacillating between indifferent acquaintances and something much, much more. But what was more? Best friends? Lovers? Their relationship was a strange one, but then again what wasn't strange on this God-forsaken island?
The only thing he knew for certain was that when she kissed him, nothing had felt more right in his life. Sure, he was as confused as hell when it finished, but the kiss itself was perfection.
Perfection. The kiss. Kate.
These thoughts drifted through his head as he watched her. He watched her until the sun sank beneath the sea and Kate's huddled form was silhouetted against the dying light. The moon was still pale, and a fading gray hue was the color of the sky. He felt her turn her head and her piercing gaze met his own. Their eyes locked in the pallid moonlight, the spark between there eyes creating a light all its own, warming and burning them simultaneously. A shiver racked his body, warming and chilling him, his heart beat faster and slower, and walls came up and crashed down all in one look. Her body turned away from him indifferently, but in her eyes he saw a glint of warmth, a remnant of whatever relationship they had had before.
The moon was shining somewhere with its borrowed light behind the clouds, hiding, but still shining. Jack slowly walked back to the caves, the night ended dark and dank, but with a sliver of hope.
A bright sun woke Jack, the red glow visible through his closed eyelids. Most irregular, mainly because he rose before the sun did, making sure everyone was okay, and he wasn't one to sleep in. The extra sleep had cleared Jack's thoughts, but a deeper exhaustion still clung to his body, one that sleep could not cure. Before he thought about getting water for the others on the beach, before he remembered that he was stranded on an island, even before he realized he was awake, a single thought dripped into his mind like honey.
Did my mouth move or am I still dreaming?
A collective sigh seemed to settle in his body, whether it was contentment or sadness or maybe a little of both, Jack did not know, but this first conscious thought always woke him from his dreams.
Once more, then all other thoughts streamed into his head like a river, and Jack was now Doctor Jack Sheppard, the hero, the caretaker, the whatever-the-hell-he-was now. He tried to push the thought of Kate, of her elusive eyes, of her mysterious smile, into the back of his mind.
Jack wandered through the day, a shadow, but a sign of strength and stability to the others.
If only they knew.
Jack mused. If only they knew what a broken person he was without her. If only they knew he was nothing but a tangle of emotions, his soul in a knot no one but Kate could unravel.
If only she knew how much he loved her.
And before he knew it, sunset had once again come to the island. He had not seen Kate throughout the entire day. Concern and fear immediately nagged his mind, but abated when he saw her with Sun. Relief swept over him, not for the first time at seeing her all right. His heart swelled at seeing her almost carefree smile, and then deflated when he saw Sawyer approach her. His mouth tightened in barely concealed anger. Jack remembered when he was the reason for her smile, their playful banter his only comfort after a day of more injuries, more pain. Had their fragile friendship deteriorated so quickly? With one moment, had they literally kissed their relationship good bye, or was this a tentative start to something more? The former was more likely.
As these thoughts ran through Jack's head, he found himself at the beach again. He sat down in the sand, and let the foamy sea water caress his toes. He sighed inwardly, thinking about her again.
Kate, he whispered.
And speak of the devil; Kate was on the beach with him. Of course, she didn't sit next to him as before, but there she was. She began to walk farther away, the sun setting on her left, and her dark hair blowing in the wind. Then unbeknownst to him, Kate looked back at Jack and sighed inaudibly, so low that the name she whispered was lost within the wind.
Jack could not sleep. He tossed and turned, but no matter how hard he tried to relax, he could not get comfortable. She was on his mind again, now more than ever before. Restlessness plagued him until it was unbearable. He lay awake for what seemed like hours, then groaned and sat up. He noticed that the sky was no longer a pitch black, and that the moon was slowly receding into a lighter sky.
And as though compelled by some invisible force, Jack felt himself get up and put on a shirt. He walked through the jungle, not knowing what exactly he had in mind. His heart seemed to have taken over and he followed it blindly, unsure of where it would lead him, but felt anticipation within his soul. In moments, Jack found himself again at the beach, barefoot, feet sinking in the cool sand not yet burned by a blazing sun.
As in a dream, he felt her before she was even in sight, before her light footsteps could be heard approaching him. His mind was confused, but his heart knew what he was doing here. Jack walked slowly toward Kate, moving as though through time itself, while she stood silent watching him, wondering, waiting, wishing.
Finally, only a few feet remained between them, with the sky now only a gray blue, and the sun escaping from its blanket of night.
They gazed at each other in this surreal scene, floating in this other dimension they had created for themselves. After what seemed like ages, Kate broke the silence and said,
"I couldn't sleep."
He stepped closer, yearning to hold her, to preserve this moment forever, but not wanting to move too fast.
"Kate…I've missed you."
Her eyes filled with an emotion he couldn't quite place, then whispered,
"I've missed you too, Jack."
Jack was unable to conceal the truth any longer.
"Kate, this has been torturing me for months. Before you came into my life, I was an empty shell. It was just filled with me tying to fix everything, when it was really me who needed to be fixed. You make everything all right. You're apart of me, so much so that I don't know where I end and you begin. I…"
He looked deep into those eyes, where the stars shined, and the moon to seemed to rise. The sun rose and set, clouds drifted by, all in her eyes.
"I love you, Kate. With all my heart, with all my soul, with every fiber in my being, I love you."
Then Kate's eyes filled with tears, tears of joy, of sadness, and everything in between. Then she smiled, and started to laugh.
Jack couldn't help but break into a smile, even though he was a bit perplexed.
"What's so funny?"
Tears streaming down her fair cheeks, and a smile lighting up her face, she said,
"We are so stupid!"
Jack, too, smiled widely, and felt tears sting his own eyes.
"Jack, I love you."
He closed the space between them and their lips met just as the sun rose over the horizon. He gently placed his hands on the small of her back and her arms wound around his neck. The kiss intensified, their bodies molding into one. After a moment they pulled apart, and he rested his forehead on hers.
Both crying and laughing a little, Jack pulled Kate to him and held her close, creatinga single shadowagainst the blinding light. Kate's hair blew in the wind as Jack held her, feeling forever pass them both by.
Just another JATE fic I thought you might enjoy. Give that little button some lovin'! It's getting lonely!