Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all it entails belongs to JKR.

Because I loved

You are gone.

How can this be? This isn't how this was supposed to end. You were supposed to defeat Voldemort, come back, become an Auror, marry Ginny and live happily ever after. You weren't supposed to die in defeating Voldemort.

Yes, I know I shouldn't care. I know I gave you up years ago … yet … I can't help caring. I know you probably hated me for going off with Michael Corner, I know I acted horrible when we going out, but then – so did you, Harry. So did you.

What you have to understand, what you didn't understand, what you will never understand, is that I was lost. I was lost and I was scared. How would you feel if Ginny died? Cedric was my first love and my everything, just as Ginny is yours.

Was yours.

And he died. Just like that, in a snap of your fingers, in a swish of His wand. What was I supposed to feel? It wasn't a good time for us. You were with him when he died … I needed someone who would understand. But you needed someone to love.

It wasn't our time. Maybe if we had stayed, maybe if we had understood each other, maybe if we had waited, then … maybe, just maybe it would have worked.

I miss you.

I was truly happy for you when you found Ginny. Truly, Harry. I knew you would be happy together – she would support you in a way they I never could. Because I'm me, Harry, why can't you see that? I'm not strong, I never was, and I probably never will be. You've heard about my failed loves. Why did they fail? Because I couldn't support the other person in the way they expected. Just like I couldn't support you.

We were never meant to be.

Then why do I feel so alone? Why do I miss you so? Why do my tears fall into the silence of the night?

All for you.


Am I expecting you to answer that question? Or am I appealing to something deep inside myself that understands everything? But wait. I don't have that part deep inside of me, do I? No. I'm a shallow, fragile girl, whose life revolves around the social aspects of life.

That's what you saw me as, wasn't it?

Because that's what I wanted everyone to see. Because if they saw me like that, I wouldn't get hurt. If I were happy all the time, no one would think they could hurt me. Well, my defences fell, the moment Cedric died. How do you hide how you feel about something drastic like that? And that was the year when we got together, Harry. That's why you could hurt me.

Because I loved.

Oh, I'm not saying you did it intentionally – I doubt you did. But you hurt me because my defences were down.

And I'll never let them down again.

But Harry … if this is the last time I'll think of you … if this is the last time I'll cry over you … I just want you to know:

I love you.