A/N: alrighty then, so this is just a story that i had lying around and decided, hey, why not? just a very short one shot tag to the episode The Benders. something that the officer said during the episode kind of stuck with me and wouldn't leave me alone until i wrote it all down so...this is the result. Read and review, please, its nice to get feedback, even on the little things.
Disclaimer: i do not own Supernatural or the Winchester boys, cause if i did then everybody would know about it, cause i would be shouting it through a bull-horn from the highest mountain tops, that the boys are mine, Mine, MINE! but since you havn't heard that yet, i still do not own them. but playing with them sure is fun...
Is it ever really enough?
Sam was quiet on their walk back to town. At first he had talked to Dean, joking about how Dean had been really worried about him, and how, yeah, Sam had been taken by surprise by two hill-billy wannabies, but Dean had been bested by a pre-teen girl. But after the first mile or so, they had both fallen into silence. Though they were outwardly silent, Sam's inner voices couldn't seem to shut up.
He kept thinking about what the police officer had said, about how she thought that finally knowing what had happened to her brother would make it easier. But now that she knew, it only made it worse.
Which left Sam to wonder- will I be the same way? He had come on this little strip with Dean to find the thing that had killed Mom, and Jess. He needed answers. He needed to know why he seemed to be being targeted, and by what. But would finding out why all this was happening to him, to his family, why Mom and Jess had died, would it bring him the kind of closure that he was looking for? If someone had posed the question to him a day or two ago, he wouldn't have hesitated to say yes. Now he wasn't so sure.
He remembered the look on the officer's face when they had said goodbye. There was so much hurt and grief there, because she had finally found her long awaited answers and she was left feeling worse that before she knew the truth. And Sam didn't think that he could handle that. He wanted closure. He needed closure. But what if he never got it? What if finding this thing left him with more questions that answers? What if the cycle never stopped? What if? What if? What if?
His thoughts were interrupted by Dean putting a hand on his shoulder. They had made it to town, and Dean was pointing to his precious Impala sitting pristinely in the parking lot of the police station.
And that was when the voice of John Winchester made its way into Sam's inner thoughts. Don't play the what if game. Obsessing over it will not help anyone. Concentrate on what you can do about the here and now.
And John was right. Sam formed a plan:
Get in the car and get the hell out of Dodge.
Patch up Dean and maybe buy him dinner. And beer. He looks like he could use a lot of beer.
Anything after that, they'll just have to take as it comes.
Sam looked over at his brother as they made their way to the car. His brother
loved him, would die for him, and would be there for him when this was all over. Dean would be there, a steadying presence in a field of uncertainty and chaos. And with that thought, Sam smiled, an honest to goodness smile. No more playing the what if game. He would just take this thing called life one day at a time. And he would be alright.
now, press the button, you know you want to. reviews help to keep a writer motivated, so come on, motivate me!