Prompt: #46 'Die For You'
Warnings/Spoilers: None really, I mention the death of a child, but nothing in depth. It's just sorta angsty.
Summary: But she also knows that she is his constant, something that he can depend on when he doesn't know which way is up. And she loves him too much to take that away from him.
Author's Notes: My first of 100 stories (yeah, I'm writing 100 stories. Someone obviously forgot to remind me to take my let's-not-go-crazy pills today) for 100songs over on livejournal. For more info on it, go check out my livejournal.
Disclaimer: Neither the song or the characters belong to me, I just enjoy playing with 'em!
Kate sighs as her back hits the door, the doorknob jabbing uncomfortably into her back. She knows that in the morning Gibbs will be gone before she wakes up. She'd probably watch him through half lidded eyes as he collected his clothes, and padded out of her bedroom.
They don't do this often. But sometimes, the job becomes too much, and there's one body too many, and he breaks. This time it was a little girl, her small body horribly mangled and abused. The team didn't sleep for five days, and Gibbs was almost more intense than Kate had ever seen him. They arrested him two hours ago, and Tony literally had to pry Gibbs off the dirtbag. He had murder in his eyes and craved blood.
Now his eyes are blank. He came to her on autopilot, not even muttering a greeting before pushing his way through the door and clutching her tightly to him. His tongue pushed into her mouth and she relaxed, knowing that he needed this. He only comes to her when he needs to remember how to be human.
She knows that she is in love with him. She knew the first time that he came to her that he'd break her heart, eventually. But she also knows that she is his constant, something that he can depend on when he doesn't know which way is up. And she loves him too much to take that away from him. So she lets him use her, and disregards the sound of her own heart breaking when he leaves. It's better that she take in his pain than for him to keep it bottled up inside, eating away.
So far they've been able to keep it out of work. He's never touched her unprofessionally at the office, no matter how many times she knows that he's wanted too. Every now and then he almost reaches this point, and she is always so tempted to just go and ease herself into his lap, and make him feel better.
He usually shows up at her door that night anyways, so it doesn't really matter.
He bites down on her neck, hard, as he's ripping off her shirt. She bites back a whimper of pain, knowing that it could stop him. She's come to work more than once with bruises on her hips and bite marks on her neck, among other places, but she never lets him see. She knows him too well, and knows that if he thought he had physically hurt her in any way that he would never show up at her door at three in the morning again. She knows that he'd have to find another way to deal with his pain. And a little part of her likes being needed by him, even if it's like this. The physical scars are easier to ignore than the emotional ones.
They eventually stumble into her bed. He cries out unintelligible things as he comes, a mix of curses, random words, and her name. Here, in bed, she's always Caitlin, never the regular Kate or the more affectionate Katie. She doesn't cry out when she comes, but instead simply whispers his name. Always Gibbs, never Jethro. He collapses next to her, and their rapid breathing gradually slows.
His eyes begin to flutter closed, and she gently runs her fingers through his hair. Her breasts pillow his head, and the stubble on his cheek abrades the softness of her.
"Thank you." He murmurs into the sweat soaked skin.
Kate's shocked, but she doesn't show it. This is the first time that he's ever spoken with her, like this, and the change in their routine has her stumped.
Maybe, she thinks, as her eyes begin to close, Maybe I won't wake up alone tomorrow.