Tribute to LwD
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, no matter how hard I wish it. Also, this is just a small tribute to a brilliant fanfic writer and to a brilliant piece of fanfiction. I really suggest you all read it. Living with Danger by whydoyouneedtoknow. This is dedicated to the readers of that fanfic, because they're the only ones who really understands why this fic is funny.
"Lily Evans is the most beautiful girl in school." James Potter proclaimed. Remus Lupin looked up from the floor where he sat doing his homework. He had been friends with James since he was eleven and, by now, he felt he was used to everything.
"You hate Lily." He said, calmly.
"I am in love." James grinned sappily at Remus and flopped over onto his bed. Sirius Black walked into the room, rubbing at his wet hair with a towel. "Who's the lucky girl, Prongs?"
"Lily Evans." Remus answered, dryly. Sirius raised an eyebrow.
"Really?" He asked, drawing out the word. "What brought this on?" He started to grin. "Was it a sultry smile? A sweet hello? A loose robe and a convenient wind?"
"What?" asked Peter, confused. Peter Pettigrew made up the last of the four friends who called themselves the Marauders. Sirius grinned at the chubby boy. "I'll tell you when you're older." He teased. James scowled at Sirius.
"She's perfect, I tell you!" He insisted.
"Sure." Sirius replied, still grinning. He looked over at Peter and Remus and winked. "So Jamesy-Boy here is in love with Lily. Going to marry her too I bet." James grinned, not taking the bait. "Yeah." He said, staring at the ceiling, dreamily.
Sirius raised an eyebrow. Note to self – Introduce Prongs to some nice Hufflepuff girls.
"Fine. You'll marry Lily. Raise a couple of nice young wizards and witches." He frowned. "Sounds so… boring. You could have scores of witches" Sirius grinned. "Why settle for a Lily when you can have a bouquet?"
"Bad pun" Remus groaned, looking up from his homework. "Don't you have something better to do?" he asked.
Sirius scowled at Remus, "Sure mate" he said, beginning to grin. "So Prongs marries Lily, I have a bevy of remarkable ladies, Wormtail here has to find some nice Hufflepuff girl eventually, but what about you.?
"What?" Remus asked. I'm not sure I like where this is going.
James looked up from the bed and grinned. "Moony will find a girl eventually, I'm sure."
Peter considered it. "I don't know. Moony never dates anyone. How'll he meet a nice girl?" he asked, seriously.
"Could put an ad in the Prophet." Sirius said, a glint in his eye.
"Stop it." Remus said from the floor.
"But then he'll just get crazies desperate for a good wizard." Peter objected.
"No, that won't work. Moony needs someone better." James said, really considering it now. "Ooh, I know." He grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill. "We'll list qualities for the ad."
"How about not!" Remus said, a little louder. He made a grab for the parchment.
"Yeah" Sirius answered James, ignoring Remus and lifting the parchment out of his reach. "Ok" he said thinking, "She should be a little younger than Moony"
"Why should that matter?" said Moony asked from the floor.
"Sounds good" said James. "And pretty, with curly brown hair. That way they can have lots of cute little Moonys."
"Uh, can't have little Moonys", remember?" Remus said, annoyed.
"Oh yeah. But brown is still really pretty." Said Sirius. "Don't want a Malfoy look-a-like." He grimaced at the thought.
"She should cook good." Added Peter hopefully. "That way we can come to their house and get good food."
"Yeah, definitely need that!" Sirius agreed, adding it to their growing list.
"And she needs to by ok with Moony's furry little problem." James added seriously.
"Or maybe cure his problem?" Sirius added cautiously.
"Sure." Remus said sarcastically. "Why not just make her a werewolf tamer?"
"Ooooh! And have her throw fireballs out of her hands!" Peter added enthusiastically. The other boys turned and gave him a strange look. "While were at it – she can give Moony children…" James said.
"And receive psychic messages from the founders." Added Sirius.
"That's a good one." James grinned at Sirius.
"Thanks, I know." He answered, pretending modesty.
Remus scowled at his friends. "Come on guys. The day I marry a great girl like that is the day Padfoot moves to Azkaban and Wormtail joins the bad guys."
"Not to mention the day Prongs marries Lily." Added Sirius laughing.
"It'll happen." James said, dropping the list and flopping back down on his bed.
"And you'll have loads of ickle little wizards and witches." Remus said helpfully.
"And give them names like Tom, John or Harry." Laughed Peter.
"And make me their godfather." Added Sirius.
"Sure Padfoot." James laughed. "First kid Lily and I have… You'll be his godfather."
"Wow. Padfoot as a godfather." Remus began, grinning. "Next thing you know, he'll be all responsible. Maybe settle down with a nice Ministry worker and have a little witch or wizard of his own."
"Never happen." Sirius said, confidently.
"You just can't handle the truth." Remus said laughing. Sirius scowled at Remus. He had spent most of his life purposefully disappointing his family. Marry a Ministry worker? Not bloody likely. "Hah! You'll marry your mystery witch before I do!" He accused, defensively. "I love living the risky life." He declared. "Have lots of nice girlfriends, play beater for Quidditch and buy that flying motorcycle we saw at Diagon Alley! That's the way my future is looking to me!" He pointed around their group wildly. "And I'm sure you all agree with me!" He began waving his arms frantically. Peter began edging away, warily. "Lead the good life! Become an auror! Chase down dangerous criminals!" Sirius yelled.
"Sure Padfoot." Remus interrupted, putting an end to Sirius's tirade. "Because we all know… I just live for Danger."