Disclaimer: I don't own the characters as they are the property of KA Applegate and Schoolastic, however since they fucked them up so much i realied, he couldn't do much worse. so here goes! I'm going to ignore the books set toward the end...
AN: The thought speak is going to be spoken with (bla bla bla) those things,
Something Worth Fighting For
Jake sat on a stool in the barn, completely exhausted. Cassie was going on about something, no doubt establishing moral limits or something with the other Animorphs. Jake presently didn't have the mental capacity to pretend to pay attention to her. It had been a long and bloody night, it was a fairly successful battle, no one died. Jake prayed every day that he would never get any of his friends killed. Whoever said leadership was a heavy burden was a fucking genius…did anyone actually say that?...or was leadership a privilege…argh thinking not good!
Cassie looked over toward him and Jake pretended to be thoughtful. At one point of time Jake thought Cassie would be a way to life the immense pressure of responsibility from his shoulders. He could take her to the movies, make out and act like a normal teenager…however when he was with Cassie…it didn't feel right…hollow. He found himself constantly thinking of the war.
He was becoming obsessive. It wasn't ony his self awareness, the entire group had noticed also. After breaking up with Cassie they suggested he take up basketball again or go on a short trip or start dating someone else. Jake tried all three, he quite basketball after a month. He went to New York for a long weekend and went out with one of the most hottest girls in school.
Yet he always found himself drifting into thoughts of the war and battle strategies kept buzzing around in his head. Very hard to make out with someone with an image of Visser 3 in your head…not much of a turn on. So he finally gave up, declaring himself a boring, stuffy, stick up the arse leader sort.
(You alright Jake?) Tobias asked in private thought speak (You look very pale)
Jake just nodded…and nearly fell out of his chair.
'Wow man are you okay?' Marco asked, as Jake placed his arse securely back on the seat.
'Yeah, I'm fine.'
'You look like a walking post mortem,' Marco pointed out.
'Seriously Marco I'm fine,'
'Is that Jake speaking or our great and fearless leader?' Rachel asked.
'There's a difference?' Jake raised his eyebrows.
'Perhaps you should return to your home Prince Jake,' Ax suggested.
'Perhaps I should,' Jake stood and tried to focus on morphing falcon…tried…and threw up.
'Oh dear,' Cassie sighed and ran to Jake, patting him on the back.
'You're suffering from extreme exhaustion,' Ax pointed out 'You won't be able to morph,'
'Then walking it is,' Jake stood pushing Cassie aside and walking to the door, 'oh by the way, sorry about the floor Cassie,'
'Don't be ridiculous Jake! You're not walking home alone half dead!' Cassie declared.
'There's nothing you guys can do,' Jake shrugged 'There's no way Cassie's parents will let me stay, Marco lives on the other side of town and Rachel's got a date at eleven,'
Cassie scowled, not getting her way, she hated,
'I'll walk home with you,' Cassie declared.
'Don't be stupid, it's a long way for one trip, let alone two,' Jake opened the barn door.
'Jake you can't walk home alone,' Cassie forbid.
(I'll go with him) Tobias offered (It's not so far for a hawk)
Cassie beamed 'Thank you Tobias,'
Tobias unfolded his wings and took off, Jake finally left the barn and closed the door behind him.
They walked in silence for most of the way. Jake knew Tobias wasn't exactly a social person, the fact that he had chosen to remain a hawk proved that. However, it wasn't really an uncomfortable silence. It was more…companionable. Jake thought, almost comforting, to know he was there.
(You think to much) Tobias spoke. Well sort of spoke.
'How could you tell I was thinking?' Jake asked, to most people that would seem a stupid question.
(You have that out of focus look in your eyes…and you're biting your lip)
'You can see that well in the dark?'
(Not really, but a right side better than you can)
Jake smiled and looked to the sky. A shadow flew gracefully above him, watching over him. Jake had never felt more safe.
'Be sure to tell me if there's a knife wielding maniac waiting for me around a corner,' Jake joked.
(That'd be interesting to see, I wonder how a criminal react suddenly upon realising he's trying to mug a full grown male Siberian tiger)
Jake laughed, before they fell into the comfortable silence again.
(I haven't heard you laugh like that in a while)
'…I suppose it's the exhaustion,' Jake spoke softly.
(Do you realise you've tripped 27 times on the pavement?)
Jake laughed again. A car drove by and ran through a puddle left by the afternoon showers. Jake exclaimed as the hazardous puddle soaked his pants through.
'Bloody hell!' Jake growled. Tobias laughed. They were silent for a long time after that. They'd reached Jake's street before the silence was broken again.
(It's not enough is it?)
'What do you mean?' Jake asked confused.
(The Animorphs, being a part of our group?) Tobias spoke carefully (It takes up such a large part of your life until there's nothing else but this war…and it's not enough. We need more, a lot more)
'I know what you mean,' Jake realised 'I just…don't know what it is I'm missing,'
(Something…to fill the empty space. Something worth wanting to live for…to win for)
Jake looked down at the pavement puzzled, they resumed their silence until Jake stood outside his front door.
'See ya Tobias…take care,'
(You too) with that, the shadow left.
Jake wouldn't have been able to sleep if he wasn't so damn exhausted. Instead he spent the entirety of the next day, which was really only 8 hours after waking up well into the afternoon, pondering what had made Tobias say those things. Tobias wasn't known for saying much…actually he wasn't known much at all…save for his friends of course. For Tobias to say all that…it was so…profound as well. Jake realised Tobias had spoken exactly what Jake had felt. They were both missing something.
The others had their 'somethings' that made them happy and sane. Cassie had her animals, Marco had his large collection of video games and new girlfriend…Sienna Jake thought her name was. And Rachel…well Rachel loved the war sooo... Jake wasn't sure that Ax felt the same way about it, he was an Andalite, the purpose they live for is to fight the yeerk invaders. Plus from what Jake had gathered about Andalites, their emotions are less extreme that humans. Anyway, back on track, Tobias, what would make him say something like that? 'The something' must be really plaguing his mind for him to actually ask something as deep as that. Hell it should be a song…actually it probably is. Another query…why would Tobias turn to Jake for answers?
Could it have to do with that night? Does he even remember what happened? It had been six months ago, and Tobias was really very drunk. Rachel had broken up with Tobias that afternoon. And at nine o'clock that night, Jake had awoken to a giant bird falling on top of him. Apparently you can morph and demorph while intoxicated and remain drunk, kinda cool.Tobias demorphed and began exclaiming how he was ready for battle and he would follow Jake anywhere and saluted to his lamp.
Jake immediately snuck Tobias out of the house. Not a good idea to have one of your soldiers going on about alien invasions when you're sharing a house with a controller. He walked with him down the school and they sat in the outfield of the baseball pitch…thing. Anyways Tobias, turns out, was a very chatty drunk. He told Jake a lot of stuff, Jake was willing to bet even Rachel hadn't known. Tobias talked about his family, school, bullies, hunting, life. Jake was shocked to find himself also spilling his secrets to the fragile boy. He told him everything he insecurities, his fears, his hopes. They had talked for half the night, about many different things. One of the subjects were of course, the reason Rachel had left Tobias and hence caused his intoxicated condition. Rachel told the group it was because they had grown apart, Tobias drunkenly says it was because Rachel thinks he's frigid.
'She sayss I won touch herr, butt I dunno what he's talkin' bout,' Tobias shrugged 'Shee says that if I loved her that I'd stop beein the hawk and heheheheehehe, touch her down there!'
Jake had gone very red and restrained himself from laughing.
'I didn't know she wanted me to doo that!' Tobias exclaimed genuinely shocked 'And I like being hawk! I can fight! Aand…well its not like there's anythin else here is ere?'
They were awake that entire night. Tobias had convinced Jake to go flying with him at 3:00am. They stopped at 8:00am, Jake had really honestly enjoyed it. He left Tobias in an almost sober state in his territory, and flown off. They had never spoken of it. Backing up Jake's assumption that Tobias had gotten too drunk to remember any of it…although after last night. Jake wasn't too sure.
AN: Well that's my first chapter. I was so ticked off there wasn't much Animorphs slash i decided to write my own. Hope i don't get anyone pissy. tata